Rosco sat in his patrol car at the edge of town, one hand gently scratching Flash’s ear, the other on the switch to his phony traffic light. He was waiting for the Duke boys to come by on the way to Hazzard Bank to make the mortgage payment on the farm. Rosco, of course, had instructions from Boss Hogg to keep them from getting there on time, so he could foreclose on the farm.
“This is silly,” he said to Flash.”How many times have we done this and it never works? We’re wasting our time.”
Rosco took his hand off the switch. Who ever heard of a traffic light in a tree, anyway?
He heard the sound of the General’s powerful engine coming up the road at a full gallop. He eased the front of his car onto the edge of the road. Surprisingly, the Dukes stopped.”Ain’t that something,” Rosco muttered to himself.”The one time I decide not to chase them, they stop.”
“All right, Rosco, get it over with. We don’t have time for a chase,” said Bo.
“Me either,” said Rosco. “You boys better hurry, you only got a few minutes before Boss closes the bank.”
As he waved them by, Bo said,”Now I wonder what that was all about. You think it’s a trick?”
“I don’t know,” said Luke.”He ain’t following us, he’s just standing there looking off into space.”

Rosco sat quietly at his desk in the Sheriff’s Office. Boss came barging in. “Rosco! What happened this time? Why didn’t you stop them? They said you didn’t even chase them.”
Boss then noticed Rosco’s expression, a seriousness he hadn’t seen in his brother-in-law in years. “What is it?” he asked, growing concerned.
“Boss, I’ve been thinking.” said Rosco quietly. “I’ve decided something.”
“What?” asked Boss.
“Boss,” Rosco began, “as of quittin’ time today, I’m resigning as Sheriff of Hazzard County. I’ll get Enos lined out on what he needs to know to run the place, then I’ll be on my way.”
Boss stared at Rosco, speechless, as the 30-plus year veteran lawman silently got out of his chair, and walked out of the room.

“I don’t know, Enos.” Said Luke, as he stood on the front porch of the farmhouse, talking to the newly sworn in Hazzard County Sheriff, Enos Strate. “He hardly said two words to us, and let us go, just like that.”
After a long silence, Jesse said,” I think I know what might be buggin’ him. I’ll go talk to him.”

A little while later, Jesse sat on Rosco’s mama’s front porch, and looked at the ex-sheriff. “You and me go back a long ways, Rosco,” he said. “ Wanna tell me what’s on your mind?”
“Aw, Jesse, it’s a lot of things. For one thing, I’m getting old. I shoulda been able to retire 10 years ago, but I couldn’t afford it, because of losing my pension. Tell you the truth, I still can’t, but there’s other things, too.”
“ Boss won’t spend a stinking dime on the Department, aside from what little he pays me and Enos. Our cars and equipment are ridiculously out of date, we got no computer system, and I’ll bet anything Enos don’t get a raise, or a deputy, unless maybe Cletus comes back. And we both know Cletus ain’t much help.”
The two men laughed. “Yeah, ol’ Cletus sure ain’t much of a threat to crime,” agreed Jesse.
“And another thing,” said Rosco, “You Dukes. Y’all never done me no wrong, but Boss has had me buggin’ y’all so much all these years, I’m surprised you’ll even speak to me. I’ve felt bad about it longer than I’ve let on, but what was I supposed to do?”
“Now, Rosco, don’t worry too much about that. We’ve always known it was more J.D. than you. Besides, we all enjoy a good chase now and then.”
Rosco smiled. “Yeah, well, I guess my chasing days are over.”
“Sounds to me like you still care,” said Jesse, “Maybe under the right circumstances, you’d come back.”
“I do Jesse, but nothing’ll change with Boss unless there’s something in it for him.”
“Hmm,” said Jesse with a mischievous grin.
“What,” asked Rosco.
“I gotta go tend to something,” said Jesse, “See you later, Rosco.”

The next morning, Boss Hogg sat in his office counting money from some illegal scheme. Suddenly, his door exploded open, and there stood his wife, Lulu, who was also Rosco’s sister, with a look on her face that would make the Devil himself run for cover.

That afternoon, Enos pulled up in front of Rosco’s mama’s. Rosco smiled. “Nice to see you, Sheriff. How’s it going?” said Rosco.
“Well, for one thing, I don’t know how Cletus ever survived when he worked for you.
Why, just this morning, he locked himself in the jail cell, fell down the steps to the courthouse, ran his patrol car into mine, and it’s still early. I got mad at him, and even called him a dipstick.”
Rosco laughed. “Sounds like Cletus, alright.”
“Listen, Rosco, if you’re not busy, could you come down to the station and help me with some paperwork? I’m still having trouble understanding some of it,” said Enos.
“Sure thing, I’d kind of like to look in on the old place, anyway,” said Rosco.

A while later, Rosco stepped into his old office and stared at Enos’ desk. On it sat a brand new, top-of-the-line computer. “What th’…” said Rosco.
Enos was grinning ear-to-ear. “Something, ain’t it? Tied in to the State Police and the Feds. And that ain’t all. Follow me.”
Rosco was silent as he followed Enos out the back door. There on the curb sat three brand new patrol cars, complete with on-board computers, radars, cell phones, and big engines.
Rosco was angry. “Is that what you brought me down here for? To rub all this new stuff in my face? How the heck did you talk Boss into it, anyway? I’m going home, and all of you can just leave me alone!”
“But Rosco, isn’t this what you wanted?” called Boss Hogg from the door.
“Isn’t it a little late for you to care what I want? I hope Enos and Cletus enjoy it!” said Rosco angrily without looking back.
He stopped. “One thing. Why are there three cars?”
Boss grinned. “Because one of ‘em’s yours, you lamebrain! You’re gonna have two deputies from now on to take some of the load off.”
“Me?” asked Roscoe, surprised.
“That is if you want to come back,” said Boss.
“Well…” Rosco said with a grin.
That’s when he saw the Dukes standing on the sidewalk.
He walked up to Jesse. “You old coot, you sicced Lulu on him, didn’t you?” he said, laughing.
“We had to do something, Rosco,” said Bo. "It just isn’t as much fun without you.”
“Well, thank you Dukes very much. I appreciate it.” Said Rosco.
“Hey, Rosco,” said Luke with a twinkle in his eye, “You wanna see what that new car’s made of?”
With that, he and Bo hopped into the General and took off.
Rosco looked up at Enos and Cletus as he headed for the lead car. “Well, what are you two dipsticks waiting for? Let’s go get ‘em!”

And so, Rosco was back on the job, and things were back to normal, for Hazzard, anyway.


The End

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