Memo to Brian: Get Back to Work!

[MaryAnne]

Brian,

Not to be too demanding or anything but...where's that update to the front page of the site you promised, oh two months ago? And what about that DukesFest summary? And how about some of the other news tidbits and items you've found but haven't done anything with?

Oh, and how come there's no Pepsi left in the vending machine?!

Please get back to me ASAP. Or else.

MaryAnne

[Brian Coltrane]

Brian,

Not to be too demanding or anything but...where's that update to the front page of the site you promised, oh two months ago? And what about that DukesFest summary? And how about some of the other news tidbits and items you've found but haven't done anything with?

Oh, and how come there's no Pepsi left in the vending machine?!

Please get back to me ASAP. Or else.

MaryAnne


I drank all the Pepsi. Ya snooze, ya loose. Maybe we should put your name over the Pepsi button, so from now on it's a can of MaryAnne for a mere seventy-five cents.

I'm workin' on the General Lee article, and the DukesFest promo. Since when do we have deadlines? DukesFest ain't until the end of June this year, so the way I see it, I had three or four extra weeks right there.

And is it really necessary to put an "or else" on your posts in order to get my attention? Just because I've ignored your private messages, your emails, and I didn't return your phone call doesn't mean I'm not payin' attention, ya know.

[DaneyDuke]

MaryAnne,

While a DukesFest promo is alright, I would prefer to see an article about Cooter's new event "Sperryville Celebration".

Daney

[MaryAnne]

Given Brian's rate of return, Daney, it'll be more like a "Sperryville Remembered."

Yes, Brian, it is necessary to use "or else" to get your attention. It obviously worked this time.

So ya drank all the Pepsi? I see. Well that machine doesn't fill itself ya know. But I suppose refilling the vending machine is like using the toliet paper. You use the last of the roll and then leave it there for somebody else to take care of eh? Can't get a new roll out of the closet and change it? So you can't refill the vending machine? I gotta do everything around here?

There is no way a can of MaryAnne would cost seventy-five cents. I'm at least worth a buck-fifty.

Now speaking of doing things...you've certainly demonstrated that you have time to listen to the sound of your own voice. I mean, look at your post count! 1600+! No wonder nothing gets done. I suppose if I applied your work ethic to myself, I'd have 1800 posts by now. And the front page of HNet would still be talking about the 2005 movie.

Since when do we have deadlines? Since....right now. And you know what a stickler I am for deadlines....

:-P

MaryAnne

[AlexJackson]

[quote=Brian Coltrane;83083]I drank all the Pepsi. Ya snooze, ya loose. Maybe we should put your name over the Pepsi button, so from now on it's a can of MaryAnne for a mere seventy-five cents.


Really? 75 cents a can or MaryAnne you said 1.50 a can?? Hmmmmmm so...how much for a case of MaryAnne?? ;)

Just kidding!! :lol:

Alex

[RogerDuke]

In the meantime Daney, can ya tell us (briefly) what Sperryville Celebration is about? I've never heard of it. Thanks buddy.

[Brian Coltrane]

In the meantime Daney, can ya tell us (briefly) what Sperryville Celebration is about? I've never heard of it. Thanks buddy.


Daney, thanks for bringing up one more thang that I'm behind on. GAH!!

Anyhow, Roger, I updated the Ben Jones/ Cooter section on the Forums, with that bit o' information. In a nutshell, Ben's band is doing a charity gig next month in Sperryville VA.

And now, I must fire a return volley. 'Scuze me....

[Brian Coltrane]

Given Brian's rate of return, Daney, it'll be more like a "Sperryville Remembered."

Yes, Brian, it is necessary to use "or else" to get your attention. It obviously worked this time.

So ya drank all the Pepsi? I see. Well that machine doesn't fill itself ya know. But I suppose refilling the vending machine is like using the toliet paper. You use the last of the roll and then leave it there for somebody else to take care of eh? Can't get a new roll out of the closet and change it? So you can't refill the vending machine? I gotta do everything around here?

There is no way a can of MaryAnne would cost seventy-five cents. I'm at least worth a buck-fifty.

Now speaking of doing things...you've certainly demonstrated that you have time to listen to the sound of your own voice. I mean, look at your post count! 1600+! No wonder nothing gets done. I suppose if I applied your work ethic to myself, I'd have 1800 posts by now. And the front page of HNet would still be talking about the 2005 movie.

Since when do we have deadlines? Since....right now. And you know what a stickler I am for deadlines....

:-P

MaryAnne


Awright, maybe I'm not so great at housekeeping details. That's evidenced enuff by the fact I never delete old, inactive threads from the Forums. I'll admit it. Fine. Ya got me. And just for spite, I bought the last Nestle' Crunch out of the vending machine and left you the Clark bar nobody can stand. So thhpbthpbth!!

Yeah, I've got 1,683 posts, with this one. Thing is, a good number of those 1,683 posts were in answer to you, MaryAnne. It's no wonder I don't get anything done. I'm always too busy defending myself.

Rather than taking the carrot-and-stick approach and always applying the stick, maybe you should try another tactic if you want quicker results around heah. Say like....switching rank with me. I wouldn't ask for more than that, as long as it gives me complete and total control of HazzardNet.

Then, you'd have plenty of time for those housekeeping issues, like re-stocking the vending machine, and keeping the bathrooms tidy, and picking up all the empty Pepsi cans around the office. Along with getting my dry cleaning and bringing over my lunch.

That would really clear up my schedule, and enable me to get to all these important news items I'm so backlogged on. Makes total sense, doesn't it?

And because you appreciate the importance of deadlines, I'll give ya 24 hours to reply to my demand. Er, request.

Brian

[Julieduke]

Awright, maybe I'm not so great at housekeeping details. That's evidenced enuff by the fact I never delete old, inactive threads from the Forums. I'll admit it. Fine. Ya got me. And just for spite, I bought the last Nestle' Crunch out of the vending machine and left you the Clark bar nobody can stand. So thhpbthpbth!!

Yeah, I've got 1,683 posts, with this one. Thing is, a good number of those 1,683 posts were in answer to you, MaryAnne. It's no wonder I don't get anything done. I'm always too busy defending myself.

Rather than taking the carrot-and-stick approach and always applying the stick, maybe you should try another tactic if you want quicker results around heah. Say like....switching rank with me. I wouldn't ask for more than that, as long as it gives me complete and total control of HazzardNet.

Then, you'd have plenty of time for those housekeeping issues, like re-stocking the vending machine, and keeping the bathrooms tidy, and picking up all the empty Pepsi cans around the office. Along with getting my dry cleaning and bringing over my lunch.

That would really clear up my schedule, and enable me to get to all these important news items I'm so backlogged on. Makes total sense, doesn't it?

And because you appreciate the importance of deadlines, I'll give ya 24 hours to reply to my demand. Er, request.

Brian
Hey Brian, you need a good secretary over there?

[MaryAnne]

Awright, maybe I'm not so great at housekeeping details. That's evidenced enuff by the fact I never delete old, inactive threads from the Forums. I'll admit it. Fine. Ya got me. And just for spite, I bought the last Nestle' Crunch out of the vending machine and left you the Clark bar nobody can stand. So thhpbthpbth!!

Yeah, I've got 1,683 posts, with this one. Thing is, a good number of those 1,683 posts were in answer to you, MaryAnne. It's no wonder I don't get anything done. I'm always too busy defending myself.

Rather than taking the carrot-and-stick approach and always applying the stick, maybe you should try another tactic if you want quicker results around heah. Say like....switching rank with me. I wouldn't ask for more than that, as long as it gives me complete and total control of HazzardNet.

Then, you'd have plenty of time for those housekeeping issues, like re-stocking the vending machine, and keeping the bathrooms tidy, and picking up all the empty Pepsi cans around the office. Along with getting my dry cleaning and bringing over my lunch.

That would really clear up my schedule, and enable me to get to all these important news items I'm so backlogged on. Makes total sense, doesn't it?

And because you appreciate the importance of deadlines, I'll give ya 24 hours to reply to my demand. Er, request.

Brian

Hey Brian, you need a good secretary over there?


*looks at watch* Whups, looks like I missed that deadline. Hmm...maybe I am qualified to handle your position afterall. I had my doubts for a bit but it's clear I had no problem blowing off that deadline.

But I can't give up my title. Sorry. Mine's a For Life position.

At least, until such time as Meadowmufn decides to fire me, either for not getting you and me to stay on task or I trip a cord and blow up HNet. *cough* Again.

Um...a secretary! There ya go, Brian, looks like Julie there would be more than happy to be your secretary. She'll probably pick up your dry cleaning, bring you lunch, re-stock the vending machines and take care of all those other housekeeping issues that neither one of us can keep up with. Maybe Alex can help ya out too, he's a strong guy, he can lug in all those cases of Pepsi and stock the machine.

You'd do that, wouldn't ya Alex?

Why didn't I think of this before? I believe the word is called DELEGATING.

Brilliant!

:deputy:

[AlexJackson]

*looks at watch* Whups, looks like I missed that deadline. Hmm...maybe I am qualified to handle your position afterall. I had my doubts for a bit but it's clear I had no problem blowing off that deadline.

But I can't give up my title. Sorry. Mine's a For Life position.

At least, until such time as Meadowmufn decides to fire me, either for not getting you and me to stay on task or I trip a cord and blow up HNet. *cough* Again.

Um...a secretary! There ya go, Brian, looks like Julie there would be more than happy to be your secretary. She'll probably pick up your dry cleaning, bring you lunch, re-stock the vending machines and take care of all those other housekeeping issues that neither one of us can keep up with. Maybe Alex can help ya out too, he's a strong guy, he can lug in all those cases of Pepsi and stock the machine.

You'd do that, wouldn't ya Alex?

Why didn't I think of this before? I believe the word is called DELEGATING.

Brilliant!

:deputy:

Why of course MaryAnne! Let me haul the cases over and stock the machine! :D

[JESSI DUKE]

Is Brian the reason why there was no April Joke on the front page?
I was really bum when there wasn't any.

[Brian Coltrane]

Is Brian the reason why there was no April Joke on the front page?
I was really bum when there wasn't any.

Yes, there's a good reason. MeadowMufn is on a leave of absence for a couple weeks, so there's only been two of us Administrative types to ignore the place. So it was one of those things MaryAnne and I had to let go of, in order to keep up our ignorance on other fronts.

Believe me, I wish we coulda found the time for April Fool's, I had a real corker up my sleeve.

[Brian Coltrane]

Why of course MaryAnne! Let me haul the cases over and stock the machine! :D

Put down the Pepsi, boy! Ain't no outsourcin' goin' on with my gig!

I see what the scheme is now. MaryAnne figures to parcel out a few of my duties here and there, and before I know it -- pow! I'm replaced.

Tho' it would be nice to have a secretary. Or five or six of 'em. Tho' again, I'd run the risk of not having enough work of my own to do, and then suddenly finding myself un-essential. And unemployed.

On another note, if MaryAnne's position here is for life....I have to wonder, what she did to deserve the sentence. Bahahaha.

[AlexJackson]

Put down the Pepsi, boy! Ain't no outsourcin' goin' on with my gig!

I see what the scheme is now. MaryAnne figures to parcel out a few of my duties here and there, and before I know it -- pow! I'm replaced.

Tho' it would be nice to have a secretary. Or five or six of 'em. Tho' again, I'd run the risk of not having enough work of my own to do, and then suddenly finding myself un-essential. And unemployed.

On another note, if MaryAnne's position here is for life....I have to wonder, what she did to deserve the sentence. Bahahaha.


Since when is refilling a pepsi machine outsourcing?? *chuckles* MaryAnne asked me very nicely to fill the pepsi machine.

[Sheriff_Rosco_P_Coltrane]

Oh mercy there she goes...

Brian, the importance of your job is to work is it not? And to be proud of it? How can you be proud of sitting around? Hm?

Knowing him he is probably sleeping again!

[Meadowmufn]

Oh mercy there she goes...

Brian, the importance of your job is to work is it not? And to be proud of it? How can you be proud of sitting around? Hm?

Knowing him he is probably sleeping again!

I'm very proud of sitting around. :D Some of my most productive times are when I'm sitting around. Or laying around, as the case may currently be. ;)

[Brian Coltrane]

Oh mercy there she goes...

Brian, the importance of your job is to work is it not? And to be proud of it? How can you be proud of sitting around? Hm?

Knowing him he is probably sleeping again!

My job is very important, and I am proud of it. But I'm also proud of dodging as much work as possible, while holding as much power as I can grab.

I've been after MaryAnne's job for a long time, ya know. Tho' I've realized, I'm not even sure what her job is. Other than to make sure I'm working. If we eliminated MaryAnne's position, it would lead to greater efficiencies around here, because without the middleman I could simply yell at myself.

[Brian Coltrane]

I'm very proud of sitting around. :D Some of my most productive times are when I'm sitting around. Or laying around, as the case may currently be. ;)

You're supposed to be taking it easy. It ain't a leave of absence if you haven't left. In any case, welcome back, if you're back. If you're not back...then, whenever you leave, I'll look forward to your return.

[Julieduke]

You're supposed to be taking it easy. It ain't a leave of absence if you haven't left. In any case, welcome back, if you're back. If you're not back...then, whenever you leave, I'll look forward to your return.
Hey Brian, I very good at Typing if you don't mind alot of typos.

[Sheriff_Rosco_P_Coltrane]

I'm very proud of sitting around. :D Some of my most productive times are when I'm sitting around. Or laying around, as the case may currently be. ;)


LMAO!

Good to see ya Mufn. *Holds foot up* I'm laying too. :rofl:

[Sheriff_Rosco_P_Coltrane]

My job is very important, and I am proud of it. But I'm also proud of dodging as much work as possible, while holding as much power as I can grab.

I've been after MaryAnne's job for a long time, ya know. Tho' I've realized, I'm not even sure what her job is. Other than to make sure I'm working. If we eliminated MaryAnne's position, it would lead to greater efficiencies around here, because without the middleman I could simply yell at myself.

MaryAnne has a job? I'm shocked!! :rofl:

[MaryAnne]

MaryAnne has a job? I'm shocked!! :rofl:

Hey, I ain't just another pretty face around here. I actually do work!

And keeping Brian in line is pretty much my full time occupation. Like Brian pointed out, if he were to succeed me in my job, he'd have to yell at himself. And he'd be too lazy to even do that.

The place would crumble at that point and he knows it.

I have other duties too. Umm....*looks at job descrption* "Other duties as assigned." There, see? I have other duties too! I just don't exactly know what they are or when they'll be assigned. :)

[Sheriff_Rosco_P_Coltrane]

Hey, I ain't just another pretty face around here. I actually do work!

And keeping Brian in line is pretty much my full time occupation. Like Brian pointed out, if he were to succeed me in my job, he'd have to yell at himself. And he'd be too lazy to even do that.

The place would crumble at that point and he knows it.

I have other duties too. Umm....*looks at job descrption* "Other duties as assigned." There, see? I have other duties too! I just don't exactly know what they are or when they'll be assigned. :)

If ya so say MaryAnne. :poke:

[AlexJackson]

If ya so say MaryAnne. :poke:

Aw quit pestering the Deputy Rosco...MaryAnne and Brian both do a lot of work around here...believe me without those two and MeadowMufn, Hnet wouldnt be here at all...:D

[MaryAnne]

If ya so say MaryAnne. :poke:

I do. ;)

[MaryAnne]

Aw quit pestering the Deputy Rosco...MaryAnne and Brian both do a lot of work around here...believe me without those two and MeadowMufn, Hnet wouldnt be here at all...:D

And Alex would be a lost soul who wouldn't know what to do with himself! LOL

[AlexJackson]

And Alex would be a lost soul who wouldn't know what to do with himself! LOL

Thattttssss right!!! Without the Coltranes times 3, Id be beside myself!! ;)

[Sheriff_Rosco_P_Coltrane]

And Alex would be a lost soul who wouldn't know what to do with himself! LOL




LMAO.

And without someone to crush on. *Coughs*

[Sheriff_Rosco_P_Coltrane]

Aw quit pestering the Deputy Rosco...MaryAnne and Brian both do a lot of work around here...believe me without those two and MeadowMufn, Hnet wouldnt be here at all...:D


I like perterin' the ladies and I noticed you do to. Don't deny it either.:innocent:

[AlexJackson]

I like perterin' the ladies and I noticed you do to. Don't deny it either.:innocent:

I dont pester Rosco, I tease! :lol:

[Sheriff_Rosco_P_Coltrane]

Same IMO, LOL.

[Brian Coltrane]

And Alex would be a lost soul who wouldn't know what to do with himself! LOL


He could go join a Knight Rider forum! Or...a Stargate message board! Better yet, become the moderator of a MacGyver fan site!

And as far as Alex not knowing what to do with himself --

http://pic50.picturetrail.com/VOL489/4138106/9090576/258176506.jpg

[AlexJackson]

He could go join a Knight Rider forum! Or...a Stargate message board! Better yet, become the moderator of a MacGyver fan site!

And as far as Alex not knowing what to do with himself --

http://pic50.picturetrail.com/VOL489/4138106/9090576/258176506.jpg


Hey!! *chuckles* And here I said nice things about you! *laughs* ;)

[MaryAnne]

Hey!! *chuckles* And here I said nice things about you! *laughs* ;)

Just goes to show ya Alex, flattery will get you nowhere! LOL

[Sheriff_Rosco_P_Coltrane]

+1 for Brian. Khee!!

[Sheriff_Rosco_P_Coltrane]

Just goes to show ya Alex, flattery will get you nowhere! LOL

Ya, know MayAnne. I was re-readin' the cully fanfic, The first one and you basically described me of how cully is. I'm exactly like that. It's heard for me to open my heart up due to my past.

[AlexJackson]

Just goes to show ya Alex, flattery will get you nowhere! LOL

Apparently! *chuckles*

[DaneyDuke]

He could go join a Knight Rider forum! Or...a Stargate message board! Better yet, become the moderator of a MacGyver fan site!

And as far as Alex not knowing what to do with himself--

Alex can watch Firefly and Supernatural like he's recommended to others.

[Brian Coltrane]

Alex can watch Firefly and Supernatural like he's recommended to others.

Alex can do whatever he wants - so long as he doesn't do it here!

And now, back to squabbling with MaryAnne, which is one of my own job duties. As a downtrodden, lesser-ranked member of HNet's administrative team, I'm obligated to create as much discord and disruption possible, so that MaryAnne can look busy with doing damage control.

(Which means, I should put an inappropriate remark here, closely following my previously censored comment. )

Alex, you've always wanted to be an official member of the HNet staff. Here's a question for ya:

Assuming you would know what to do with yourself as a moderator - do you have any "hands on" experience?

And are you a self-starter??

Do you find satisfaction in your workday?

[AlexJackson]

Alex can do whatever he wants - so long as he doesn't do it here!

And now, back to squabbling with MaryAnne, which is one of my own job duties. As a downtrodden, lesser-ranked member of HNet's administrative team, I'm obligated to create as much discord and disruption possible, so that MaryAnne can look busy with doing damage control.

(Which means, I should put an inappropriate remark here, closely following my previously censored comment. )

Alex, you've always wanted to be an official member of the HNet staff. Here's a question for ya:

Assuming you would know what to do with yourself as a moderator - do you have any "hands on" experience?

And are you a self-starter??

Do you find satisfaction in your workday?

Hmmmm I dont know about "hands on" experience but for a long time I was in business for myself, took a lot of matters into my own hands... *chuckles* Is that what you mean Brian?

[MaryAnne]

Hmmmm I dont know about "hands on" experience but for a long time I was in business for myself, took a lot of matters into my own hands... *chuckles* Is that what you mean Brian?

Why do I get the feeling this is going to go down hill really quick? :-o LOL

Um, ahem, well anyway uhh, okay, putting this topic back on track heah...this is supposed to be trying to put Brian to work here and it obviously ain't working. As usual.

Unless I start implementing some Dire Threats with Serious Consquences. I hate going to such extememes ya know....

Well, actually I don't because it usually works. Heh heh...

Hmm....lemme think now...

[countrygirl1986]

Why do I get the feeling this is going to go down hill really quick? :-o LOL

Um, ahem, well anyway uhh, okay, putting this topic back on track heah...this is supposed to be trying to put Brian to work here and it obviously ain't working. As usual.

Unless I start implementing some Dire Threats with Serious Consquences. I hate going to such extememes ya know....

Well, actually I don't because it usually works. Heh heh...

Hmm....lemme think now...
Hey MaryAnne,

How about 20 lashes with a wet noodle!

Sorry, couldn't help it.:innocent:

[Sheriff_Rosco_P_Coltrane]

Hey MaryAnne,

How about 20 lashes with a wet noodle!

Sorry, couldn't help it.:innocent:


gotta see this.:popcorn:

[RogerDuke]

*raises hand to be noticed above the rest of the crowd (especially Alex)*
Ooooh, oooh, pick me, pick me, I want to be a Hazzardnet administrator too. I realize it requires some computers skills and as soon as I figure out where the grease fittings are on this thing I'll (hopefully) have acquired enough techno skills to do the job. I already spray painted it orange and put a couple 01s on the sides. I bet Alex's computer is white or black or some other boring color.

[countrygirl1986]

*raises hand to be noticed above the rest of the crowd (especially Alex)*
Ooooh, oooh, pick me, pick me, I want to be a Hazzardnet administrator too. I realize it requires some computers skills and as soon as I figure out where the grease fittings are on this thing I'll (hopefully) have acquired enough techno skills to do the job. I already spray painted it orange and put a couple 01s on the sides. I bet Alex's computer is white or black or some other boring color.

gotta see this.:popcorn:

*sits down next to Rosco and pulls out a bag of snacks as well* This might going to become very interesting...

[AlexJackson]

*raises hand to be noticed above the rest of the crowd (especially Alex)*
Ooooh, oooh, pick me, pick me, I want to be a Hazzardnet administrator too. I realize it requires some computers skills and as soon as I figure out where the grease fittings are on this thing I'll (hopefully) have acquired enough techno skills to do the job. I already spray painted it orange and put a couple 01s on the sides. I bet Alex's computer is white or black or some other boring color.


Sorry Roger but MeadowMufn, MaryAnne and Brian run Hnet and they do a fantastic job and no one can replace those three... ever.

And as for my computer, my flat panel monitor is in color! :D

[RogerDuke]

I know Alex...and I agree...ya can't blame a feller for havin' a little fun though.
By the way, I'm pretty dumb with technology so I don't know what ya meant by "my flat panel monitor is in color" but I hope the color is orange. If not, I still have a little spray paint left over from coloring my computer.

[Julieduke]

I know Alex...and I agree...ya can't blame a feller for havin' a little fun though.
By the way, I'm pretty dumb with technology so I don't know what ya meant by "my flat panel monitor is in color" but I hope the color is orange. If not, I still have a little spray paint left over from coloring my computer.
Warning: When fixing a computer don't swear or use and hammer to them that doesn't always work or have Al Bundy come and look at it.

[Sheriff_Rosco_P_Coltrane]

I dont think she got it.:-?

[Brian Coltrane]

Hey MaryAnne,

How about 20 lashes with a wet noodle!

Sorry, couldn't help it.:innocent:


Is it safe to come out yet?

MaryAnne wields a mean noodle.....

Oh, by the way. I haven't done diddly-squat around here in the past two weeks. I love this job! It's like havin' a license to be lazy.

[MaryAnne]

Is it safe to come out yet?

MaryAnne wields a mean noodle.....

Oh, by the way. I haven't done diddly-squat around here in the past two weeks. I love this job! It's like havin' a license to be lazy.


A license to be lazy? I didn't issue that license. Looks like it might be time to issue a suspension...

I noticed in another thread that a taser got your attention right quick. Now why didn't I think of that when I started this effort at Positive Reinforcement?

[Brian Coltrane]

A license to be lazy? I didn't issue that license. Looks like it might be time to issue a suspension...

I noticed in another thread that a taser got your attention right quick. Now why didn't I think of that when I started this effort at Positive Reinforcement?

Taser? You haven't altogether mastered the tv remote control. I ain't sure carryin' around 50,000 volts on your hip is a good idea.

[MaryAnne]

Taser? You haven't altogether mastered the tv remote control. I ain't sure carryin' around 50,000 volts on your hip is a good idea.

I don't need the remote! I just make Rosco get up and change the channel...Khee!

Um, about carryin' that 50,000 volts....are those things really 50,000 volts?! I mean, I suppose that could be dangerous....

.....but pretty darn e-ffective eh? Hehehehheheh. No wonder you ran like a jackrabbit in that other thread. Khee!

[Brian Coltrane]

I don't need the remote! I just make Rosco get up and change the channel...Khee!

Um, about carryin' that 50,000 volts....are those things really 50,000 volts?! I mean, I suppose that could be dangerous....

.....but pretty darn e-ffective eh? Hehehehheheh. No wonder you ran like a jackrabbit in that other thread. Khee!


MaryAnne, you carry a gun, and that's pretty damn dangerous. Hell, when you sit behind the control panel of HazzardNet, that's dangerous.

Besides, you can get a good cattle prod at Farm & Fleet for about twenty bucks.

[MaryAnne]

MaryAnne, you carry a gun, and that's pretty damn dangerous. Hell, when you sit behind the control panel of HazzardNet, that's dangerous.

Besides, you can get a good cattle prod at Farm & Fleet for about twenty bucks.


Hmmm... *thinks about this* Nah, I think I'll stick with the tools I got. My gun, the nightstick, a pair of cuffs and my devastating wit.

Yes, I am dangerous with my gun. Whereas Rosco is more than likely to shoot his own foot off, I'm more than likely to shoot your foot off.

So long as you keep shootin' yer mouth off and not gettin' any work done!

Danger, Brian Coltrane! Danger! :deputy:

[Brian Coltrane]

Oh, since you're asking so nicely, I'll do some work.

*sorts paper clips, separating the small ones from the big ones, whistling tunelessly*

[MaryAnne]

Oh, since you're asking so nicely, I'll do some work.

*sorts paper clips, separating the small ones from the big ones, whistling tunelessly*

*sighs* Well that's a start I suppose....

When you finish that you can rearrange the supply closet for me. Somewhere in there, there's a box of blue pens and some highlighters but danged if I can find them.

[Brian Coltrane]

Can't beat a small town for excitment, can ya!

Awright, I can't stand to see a grown deputy unhappy. I'll write an article tonight. Honestly. We'll update the home page tomorrow night and see if anybody notices. How's that?

[MaryAnne]

Can't beat a small town for excitment, can ya!

Awright, I can't stand to see a grown deputy unhappy. I'll write an article tonight. Honestly. We'll update the home page tomorrow night and see if anybody notices. How's that?

Oooo! Really?! Khee!

*does happy dance*

[AlexJackson]

Hmmm... *thinks about this* Nah, I think I'll stick with the tools I got. My gun, the nightstick, a pair of cuffs and my devastating wit.

Yes, I am dangerous with my gun. Whereas Rosco is more than likely to shoot his own foot off, I'm more than likely to shoot your foot off.

So long as you keep shootin' yer mouth off and not gettin' any work done!

Danger, Brian Coltrane! Danger! :deputy:


Interesting tools MaryAnne! Nightsticks... cuffs...WOW!

[Julieduke]

Interesting tools MaryAnne! Nightsticks... cuffs...WOW!
Hey Alex, you ever watch Smallville I don't think Maryanne could catch Clark Kent he's faster than the Duke boys and the deputy's still can't catch them.

[MaryAnne]

Interesting tools MaryAnne! Nightsticks... cuffs...WOW!

And my devastating wit. You fergot the devastating wit, Alex. :)

[AlexJackson]

And my devastating wit. You fergot the devastating wit, Alex. :)


Oh my mistake Deputy! Yes of course..your wit! And did I hear mention of a cattle prod? *chuckles*

[Julieduke]

Oh my mistake Deputy! Yes of course..your wit! And did I hear mention of a cattle prod? *chuckles*
I don't believe a cattle prod is standerd equipment now!"

[DaneyDuke]

Can't beat a small town for excitment, can ya!

Awright, I can't stand to see a grown deputy unhappy. I'll write an article tonight. Honestly. We'll update the home page tomorrow night and see if anybody notices. How's that?

<reads new homepage article titled Field Of Schemes...>

It was nice!

[MaryAnne]

Holy Bleep! It only took four months but I finally got Brian to do something!

That's gotta be a record. Khee! :D

[AlexJackson]

Holy Bleep! It only took four months but I finally got Brian to do something!

That's gotta be a record. Khee! :D


MaryAnne, did you have to jab Brian with a cattle prod to get him to write that article or just threaten him with jail? *chuckles*

[Brian Coltrane]

Holy Bleep! It only took four months but I finally got Brian to do something!

That's gotta be a record. Khee! :D


Yes, you got me to do somethin'. Kindly release my car from the impound yard. I'd also appreciate getting this handcuff off, because dragging around the metal file cabinet drawer that's attached to it is kinda cumbersome. Not to mention noisy.

Ok, so I fell asleep on the job a few times, no reason why we can't start over fresh, is there?

And please call off your dog.

Thank ya in advance. Have I mentioned how it's great to be back? Really! It is. Glad to be here! ( because it beats the alternatives)

Brian

[MaryAnne]

Yes, you got me to do somethin'. Kindly release my car from the impound yard. I'd also appreciate getting this handcuff off, because dragging around the metal file cabinet drawer that's attached to it is kinda cumbersome. Not to mention noisy.

Ok, so I fell asleep on the job a few times, no reason why we can't start over fresh, is there?

And please call off your dog.

Thank ya in advance. Have I mentioned how it's great to be back? Really! It is. Glad to be here! ( because it beats the alternatives)

Brian


Khee! You love it here, you just can't stay away.

Of course, with your car in the impound and that metal filing cabinet drawer handcuffed to ya and my dog keeping a watch on ya...it's kinda hard to leave ain't it? :D

Awright, seein' ya did such a great job on that front page article I'll letcha outta the cuffs, I'll let the car out of the impound and I'll call off Bandit. I think we can start over fresh. :deputy:

[MaryAnne]

MaryAnne, did you have to jab Brian with a cattle prod to get him to write that article or just threaten him with jail? *chuckles*

As Brian pointed out I just made it difficult for him to enjoy the freedom of movement. Heh!

[Brian Coltrane]

As Brian pointed out I just made it difficult for him to enjoy the freedom of movement. Heh!

If that was freedom, I'd hate to see the alternative. Tho' I suppose that was the point.

I'll have another homepage update....eh, maybe Friday night or Saturday. There's a couple of Dukes thangs goin' on out there.

One thing I'm way behind on that I meant to do over the summer, is buy and read Ben's book. Anybody read it yet? If somebody's got a book report, lemme know.

[DaneyDuke]

If that was freedom, I'd hate to see the alternative. Tho' I suppose that was the point.

I'll have another homepage update....eh, maybe Friday night or Saturday. There's a couple of Dukes thangs goin' on out there.

One thing I'm way behind on that I meant to do over the summer, is buy and read Ben's book. Anybody read it yet? If somebody's got a book report, lemme know.

Redneck Boy In The Promised Land, there isn't alot of talk about Hazzard County. Favorite parts were about Miss Ila. A few sensitive topics. Some funny moments. Will everyone like every single word, probably not. A decent balance of trying to put a life into two hundred, ninety two pages.

[RogerDuke]

Hi Daney. When you say "there isn't a lot of talk about Hazzard County" it surprised me. I got the book but haven't started reading it yet. Actually my wife bought it and is saving it for a Christmas present so I won't be reading it soon. It sounds like I might be disappointed if Hazzard isn't mentioned a lot.

[DaneyDuke]

The book contains: dedication to Miss Alma, contents, prologue, 5 sections & acknowledgments.

Prologue: Pages 1 - 4

"The Singing Cowboy Of Sugar Hill": Pages 6 - 72, early life

"Way Down Drunk In Dixie": Pages 73 - 147, adult life before Hazzard County

"Out Of The Horrible Pit, Out Of The Miry Clay": Pages 149 - 183. Page 157 starts Hazzard County.

"The Most Unlikely Candidate": Pages 185 - 262, Politics.
Pages 258 - 259, Back to Hazzard County.

"Paradise Found": 263 - 290. Pages 269 - 272, Cooter's Place, Sperryville. Page 276 - Cooter's Place, Gatlinburg. Pages 279 - 283. Pages 280 -281, Cooter's Place, Nashville.

Acknowledgments: Pages 291 - 292. There may be a Hazzard County comment here or there on a few other pages.

Basically: Pages 6 - 156, before Hazzard County. Pages 157 - 183, Hazzard County during the series. Pages 185 - 290, after Hazzard County to 2006/7.

Pages 143 - 144, details of September 26th, 1977.

Pages 145- 147, the first step of his addiction recovery journey.

It definitely could be described as inspirational and educational text for those recovering from addiction.

I know someone that this book helped over this past Labor Day 2008. Trying to understand a loved one's addiction and recovery.

[Brian Coltrane]

Thanks Daney. Is there a good quote by Ben in the book, something that kind of speaks to the tone of the whole works?

Another interesting read out there is by Jerry Rushing. It's his life's story of moonshining and what life was like when he was involved with it. Also speaks to how his life turned around.

This keeps up, I reckon we'll have a Hazzard County book club going!

[DaneyDuke]

Will work on getting a quote. You're welcome, Brian.

[Brian Coltrane]

Either there wasn't anything quote-able, or Daney is working on my kind of deadline. Which is to say, what deadline? Heh!

[DaneyDuke]

Page 4 Epilogue

"At the end of a five - week drunken blackout bender I was in horrible agony, in a terrifying place down below the darkest, hottest pits of hell. But here I was just eleven years later, internationally famous as "Cooter" on the hit tv show The Dukes Of Hazzard and now "Honorable" Mr. Jones of Georgia.
Being there that day was evidence of a personal transformation that only a loving God could shape."

Page 147

"I was broke, a financial zero minus alot. Physically, I was on the verge of death. And I had long been spiritually bankrupt. You might say I had nowhere to go but up."

Page 290

"and to pray that my turn would come to someday see where the tracks finally end. I have come to that place now and it is good."

[DaneyDuke]

Thanks Daney. Is there a good quote by Ben in the book, something that kind of speaks to the tone of the whole works?

Another interesting read out there is by Jerry Rushing. It's his life's story of moonshining and what life was like when he was involved with it. Also speaks to how his life turned around.

This keeps up, I reckon we'll have a Hazzard County book club going!

For those wondering what the title is... "The Real Dukes Of Hazzard: The Jerry Rushing Story" - 308 pages written by Michael D. Barnes. Pretty good book so far.