Bail Bond Bonus Challenge -- Brian ya out there? =) [Archive]

Brian Coltrane

01-09-2007, 12:50 AM

You've got to be crazy. No, I don't have my story written yet. In fact I only recently stumbled upon yer madness on the Dukesofhazzardfanfic.com site. My reaction, to wit, was something to the effect of, "GAAAAAAAAH!!"

Ok, maybe I've been a little ree-laxed about my duties here on HNet and about supporting DOHFF.com. But ain't this takin' things a bit far?

MaryAnne

01-09-2007, 01:00 AM

Ok, maybe I've been a little ree-laxed about my duties here on HNet and about supporting DOHFF.com. But ain't this takin' things a bit far?

Ummm....no.

:P

Brian Coltrane

01-09-2007, 01:14 AM

MaryAnne, it's a shame that after all these years of mutal collaberation and teamwork, you find it necessary to threaten me in order to get creative contributions.

You could try bribing me, ya know. Offer a cash incentive. Throw in a paid vacation to Rio.

Besides, I know you'd never really cut off my access and lock me away. Or erase my character profile. Despite yer smarmy little threat of a writers "g". Hell, you haven't banned me from HNet in at least 2 years.

MaryAnne

01-09-2007, 01:26 AM

Two years? It's only been two years? Huh. How come I haven't banned you for something in two years?

Anyway, bribing you is no good cousin. I think you work better on the stress of potential threat of being permanently exiled. Afterall, you've been loafing around here now for awhile, why should I offer the incentive of a paid vacation so you can loaf even more?

Brian Coltrane

01-09-2007, 01:51 AM

Permanent exile??

Ya know, I'm startin' to get inspired with a story idea:

An Evil Deputy holds the small town of Hazzard in thrall with her nefarious schemes. She threatens her innocent kin with brutal consequences if her demands aren't met....all to further her own influence over this tiny, helpless community. With nowhere else to go and time running short, our hero's only hope is in the ability of the townsfolk to rally to his defense.

Ya like that one?

MaryAnne

01-09-2007, 02:01 AM

I think you've got a winner right there, cousin. Write it. Afterall, it's been said that writers should write what they know....

By the way.... I'll admit I can be evil but you...Innocent kin?!

Brian Coltrane

01-09-2007, 02:23 AM

Compared to you, lately....yeah!! I haven't threatened you with incarceration, exile, or worse. At least, not in a long time.

I threatened you once, years ago, with a "Deputies Wanted" post, and the town rallied to ya. People clamoured for my ousting. Only a handful of a few, misguided loyalists took my side in the fracas. The majority of the populace wanted me outta there.

Are those few loyalists still out there? Or will the lack of story submissions speak for itself? Could I complete a story these days, if my life literally depended on it?

I guess we'll find out. MaryAnne, I accept yer challenge and the stakes. Tho' this is up there with your All-Time Rotten Shenangians.

MinDuke

01-09-2007, 02:35 AM

Brian---

Some of those misguided loyalists are still in Hnet and will rally to your side once again...

Min

Chet Duke

01-09-2007, 05:45 AM

~Brian

And some other misguided loyalists... that may not have been around to stand at your side will be there.

*Tips my hat to ya.*

~Chet

Brian Coltrane

01-09-2007, 07:47 AM

Awright!! At last count, I have at least 2 friends willing to bail me out ! That's twice as many as I expected.

Ya'll can write....right?? Those Dukes fanfic stories gotta be to her Depu-ness, MaryAnne, by Feb 6. No need to panic, but that's less than 30 days.

I'm also trying to come up with a good ol' fashioned traditional Dukes story. Now if only I can remember anything about the show. Lessee....the Jeep is named Daisy and it's driven by Dixie Duke. The dark-haired boy is named Judd and his blonde cousin is called Coy. They drive a 1969 Dodge Cornet. They don't carry guns because they're poor and you can't reuse bullets like ya can arrows.

Piece o' cake! This outta be easy....

MinDuke

01-09-2007, 11:53 AM

Brian---

Of course I can write a story! Have written many since coming to Hazzard and one will be ready by February 6th.

Umm...Brian, thats Daisy Duke, her Jeep Dixie. As for the boys, Bo is the blond and Luke is the dark haired one...

Hope that helps jump start your story! :wink:

Min

Val Strate

01-09-2007, 12:27 PM

Yes, you have some loyalists out there Bri, but sometimes we ain't very good with deadlines.

*Looks around to see if the Deputy isn't listening. Then whispers.* Just take a look at the Wildlife office desk! *Thumbs back to own desk that is mile high in own piles of work.*

Maybe I might have something to help you out Brian on a story but I don't know if it will be done in time. I got at least ten pages maybe more and I need a little bit of advice on how to complete it darlin', especialy ehm, your advice. The only sad thing is, it's still in hard copy format (still in handwritting)!

Maybe you have a third loop hole out. Ok, call it two and a half... The way I am on deadlines.

I'm suprised I haven't been tanned with a wet noodle lately, cause I know I've been slackin'.

Val

Val Strate

01-09-2007, 12:43 PM

*Now vigorously sifting through mounds of paper work at desk* Oh there is my income tax return from 05! Dang it! Only two cents!

*More sifting and a high pitch cat squeal is heard.* Mmmmeeeoow!

Sheesh! Hey there was a kitty in there... Ewww... so that's where my chocolate covered pickle and peanut butter sandwhich from last May went to. Yucky!

*still sifting, voice comes from under a mound of paperwork*

Don't worry Brian, I'm still working on it! *Thumbs up comes up out from under the papers*

Val

pendragon1980

01-09-2007, 08:49 PM

Unfortunatly, because of some Real Life issues right now, like my new job, all my energy is being put into that at the moment, so I'm fairly sure I won't be able to crank out a decent story in time.

What about shared stories, can two author's coauthor? Maybe I could assist Val in hers.

Otherwise, I'll have to settle with breaking out the pom-poms and cheering those who can write.

Pendragon

MaryAnne

01-11-2007, 12:19 AM

(Yes authors may co-author a piece.)

It's always a sight that warms my heart when the townsfolk rally to a cause. :wink:

Now, I'd write a story myself but I think that would be a conflict of interest. Afterall, the point is to challenge Brian, not myself. Challenging Brian is challenge enough for me! Heh! However, any of the other muses of Team Blue could contribute. Perhaps a certain Lieutenant in Atlanta....

Now there's some motiviation....

:P

Brian Coltrane

01-11-2007, 02:53 AM

I'm glad to see so many of ya'll offer to write something! You have mah heartfelt thanks, story or not. It's the thought that counts.

And I wish the thought was enuff, because I'm looking at a blank page with no title. GAH!!!

Ya know, I'd be hard pressed to write an episode summary for TV Guide right now, let alone an entire story.

Yet somewhere within, is creative juice and balsamic vinegar and two beers. That outta be enuff to get something flowing. I hope.

What's today...January 10th? Gives me 25 days if I start tonight. Plenty of time. No reason to panic.

GAAAAAAAH!!

Val Strate

01-11-2007, 03:11 AM

Balsamic vinegar?

Whatever happened to plain old white vinegar, malt vinegar, or apple cider vinegar?

Guess you've gone health conscious on us, eh Brian?

DaneyDuke

01-11-2007, 03:36 AM

However, any of the other muses of Team Blue could contribute. Perhaps a certain Lieutenant in Atlanta....

Ooo, sounds interesting. =) After much wasted debate time, I've decided
to take part in this challenge. Best wishes for completing a story to everyone!

Lukas_KD

01-14-2007, 12:55 AM

Ah, that long-ago battle...

Well, I suppose even long-ago enemies can be friends. I was against ya back then, but I'll see what I can come up with for you now, Brian.

~Lukas

MaryAnne

01-23-2007, 02:22 AM

*looks around*

Hmmm...pretty quiet around here. Folks must be busy working on their stories. Which is good!

Right Brian? You've been busy working on your story too right?

Brian Coltrane

01-25-2007, 01:09 AM

*Right Brian? You've been busy working on your story too right?

No, I haven't. Besides, I've got until what.... Feb 6th. Say, you never specified of what year, Feb 6th. This is due in 2008, right?

Brian

MaryAnne

01-25-2007, 01:15 AM

No, 2007. 30 days from the date I posted my challenge which was clearly marked 2007.

Clock's tickin'.....

Brian Coltrane

01-25-2007, 01:25 AM

Ok, I see it there in the fine print in the bold letters at the top. Musta missed that somehow.

Doesn't mean we can't talk this over. Make a little deal. I'm sure I could come up with something in the days remaining, but just in case, how about accepting a reasonable bribe? I'm sure there's somethin' you'd enjoy having, like car parts...or a new baton...car posters....name it.

MaryAnne

01-25-2007, 01:34 AM

A new baton?!?! Now look, first of all the baton I've got is fine thankyouverymuch. Infact, it would appear I might have to dig it out and use it for motivational purposes.

But sure, we can deal. But car poarts, posters....nah....

Hmmm.....what could you bribe me with?

Oh I know!! How about a story?!

Brian Coltrane

01-25-2007, 01:46 AM

A new baton?!?! Now look, first of all the baton I've got is fine thankyouverymuch. Infact, it would appear I might have to dig it out and use it for motivational purposes.

Well, a baton certainly beats - if you'll pardon the expression - the other motivational tools you've recently displayed. Tho' I won't bring up that other conversation from the movie forums here. But I just did. Bahahaha.

Anyhow, you've responded to my laziness with several assorted threats. I'm beginnin' to think yer serious. Maybe.

MaryAnne

01-25-2007, 01:56 AM

I am serious. I'm so serious infact, I already have a volunteer waiting for my order to "arrest" you when you fail to turn in a story and no one else posts your bail.

And when he shows up you'll wish it was just me with a baton. Muhahahahaha......

In the meantime, if I have to resort to blunt encouragement, I will.

*holds up baton* Write a story. OR ELSE...

Brian Coltrane

01-25-2007, 02:05 AM

A volunteer?! I wouldn't believe that, except....there's so many people who'd probably sell me out for a nickel. Or less.

I remember Alex stepping right over me in that other topic, when he thought for a second that a new moderator was needed. In fact, several people piped up.

Which means, if all else, just for spite I need to turn in a @#$%&* story and keep my position here. Not to meantion my head.

But I'm gonna find out who this "volunteer" is, who would so cheerfully participate in my removal. And another thing, since when do you use henchmen?! Ain't that more my style? Since when do you need somebody else to do your dirty work?

MaryAnne

01-25-2007, 02:22 AM

Hmm...do I detect a little rile here? Good! If I tork you off enough maybe you'll write something!!

Since when do I use henchmen? Since I've exhausted just about every other threat or motivation with you! You'll never guess who the volunteer is because even if he posted the announcement himself you'd miss it!

Brian Coltrane

01-25-2007, 02:33 AM

You'll never guess who the volunteer is because even if he posted the announcement himself you'd miss it!

How would I miss it? Just because I haven't been occupying every square inch of this place lately, doesn't mean I don't pay attention. I've caught your little smarty-grams here, haven't I?

"Volunteer". Nice way of putting "sell out" or "backstabber." What'd you promise him, MaryAnne? Fame as a moderator? Secret access to our direct contacts at CMT and WB? Or the priviledge of polishing your boots?

AlexJackson

01-25-2007, 02:37 AM

*clears throat* not to interrupt the bantering but I think I need to go on the record here. Just to clarify things, if MaryAnne has a henchmen...its not me!

Uhuh.. nooo way! Id never backstab you Brian, in fact I'm still working on your bail!

Just thought Id make it clear... it aint me!!

Alex

MaryAnne

01-25-2007, 02:54 AM

I promised him none of those things. All he would be getting out of the deal is the satisfaction of nailing your lazy black-clad posterior to the jailhouse wall. Truthfully, he wants to see you finish a story, because....something about unresolved issues between the two of you, he says....

I dunno. Whatever the reason, that probably won't motivate you either.

Hey! How about if I put myself on the line as well? You don't finish a story, I not only send you to the pokey, I lock myself up too.

How's that grab ya? Place the entire continued existence of the Coltrane line on your story (or suitable bail)?

Brian Coltrane

01-25-2007, 03:01 AM

Not just a threat, but now it's double-or-nothing.

Of all the "volunteers" I could guess from, there's certainly one or two who'd especially enjoy writing my exit notice.

But if you put yourself into this little bet....just who the hell is gonna run this joint ?! I think MeadowMufn might be in for some real news if I can't cough up a story to make you happy.

Now I'm riled up and feeling guilty. @#$%&*......

DaneyDuke

01-25-2007, 04:30 AM

Brian Coltrane

01-25-2007, 05:19 AM

MaryAnne has never lied to me, nor handed down an empty threat. I can say that much after several years. She wouldn't mention a third party unless there was one ready and active to step in, in more than one way. There's a few people I'm not popular with, even here on HNet. And when you factor in animosity from other haunts long past, it's anybody's guess.

In fact, Miss Daney, you were on my list of suspects. Only stands to reason, given our long, mutually-antagonistic and storied history. In this case though, I even have to suspect my closest friends.

Alex claims it's not him, but he quickly volunteered last time, without even asking if I was just gone for a break, or what. Didn't matter, he just saw a chance to be the boot-licker for MaryAnne. He was also pretty quick this time to claim innocence. Makes me wonder.

And the "Lukas" party recently admitted on this very thread that we didn't get along so well in the past. Was that a subtle hint, subtle warning, hidden in a post of supposed support?

Cripes, if I were to list all the likely suspects by name, I'd be here all night. Which is a bad idea, considering I should be writing....argh.

Brian

Val Strate

01-25-2007, 05:36 AM

Well Brian, I hope you can take my word for it that I'm not the traitor or Benedict Arnold in this case. The proof is in the puddin'.
Check your mailbox.

That's my alibi and I'm sticking to it.

MaryAnne

01-27-2007, 07:13 PM

But I'm gonna find out who this "volunteer" is, who would so cheerfully participate in my removal.

I'd guess it's the Atlanta Lt. previously mentioned unless that was a red herring. Your cousin could be shucking and jiving 'bout a henchperson.

Oh it ain't no shuck and jive. There's a legitimate volunteer awaiting, just biding his time.

And the Atlanta Lieutenant is offended to be called a red herring. Plain vanilla maybe but not a red herring... :roll:

lost_sheep3

01-29-2007, 08:48 PM

I know several people have stories ready and waiting in the wings...hope it's enough. These stakes seem to get higher every day!

Good luck!

DaneyDuke

02-03-2007, 01:47 AM

And the Atlanta Lieutenant is offended to be called a red herring. Plain vanilla maybe but not a red herring... :roll:

Opps, sorry about that.

MaryAnne, any chance you'd consider extending the deadline a few days?

MaryAnne

02-03-2007, 09:17 PM

Opps, sorry about that.

MaryAnne, any chance you'd consider extending the deadline a few days?

Umm......nope.

*looks at the calendar* Three days is plenty of time!

Atleast, Brian seems to think so. :lol:

DaneyDuke

02-04-2007, 04:43 AM

Umm......nope.

*looks at the calendar* Three days is plenty of time!

Atleast, Brian seems to think so. :lol:

=) Just thought I'd ask in case someone needed the extra time for editing.

MaryAnne

02-06-2007, 01:16 AM

Hey y'all....

I know some of y'all are working on your stories still. Just so you know that the deadline is midnight, Pacific Standard Time of the 6th. In other words, at 12:01 am on February 7th, yer too late. LOL (Or 3:01 am EST. LOL)

Brian Coltrane

02-06-2007, 06:28 AM

I know some of y'all are working on your stories still.

Yeah, no kiddin'....how'd ya know?

GAH! I'm never gonna get this thing done in time. I did the math. I can type about sixty words a minute. Which means if I have my brain engaged, I can crank out so many pages an hour. Which means technically, if I don't sleep for these next 24 hours I've got plenty of time to finish.

*insert panic here*

GAAAAAAH!!

Brian

Meadowmufn

02-07-2007, 04:34 PM

Deadline's passed. So, are we tossin' Brian in the hoose gow or what? :lol:

Brian Coltrane

02-08-2007, 01:02 AM

I missed the deadline for pacific time, but I was within the deadline if ya go by Alaska and Hawaii time. Kinda pushin' the envelope there, but hey.

We'll have to see what the Deputy's final opinion is. If you need me, I'll be hiding under my desk.

MaryAnne

02-08-2007, 01:30 AM

*as a hush falls over the gathered crowd just outside the county courthouse, Deputy MaryAnne Coltrane emerges, pokerfaced. She stands at the top of the steps and looks out at the assembled crowd*

Ladies and gentlemen, I want to thank all of you who worked hard and turned in stories to post as bail on Brian's behalf. We had seven bail postings.

I'm happy to announce that, as Brian indciated above, he did turn in a completed story. Although he missed the deadline I set, he did still turn in a story before midnight of the 6th across all US territories so.... Heh heh.

As a result of Brian's efforts and those of the community I'm very happy to say that Brian, and myself, will NOT be facing any jail time. You guys all did a great job!

I'm working on putting the Bail Bond page together to post at DOHFF hopefully within the next day or two.

Thank you very much! :D

*grins, looking very relieved*

AlexJackson

02-08-2007, 02:16 AM

YES YES YES!!! WHOO HOO!! Congrats to Brian and MaryAnne!!! :)

I'm so relieved that neither one of you are going to jail! :)

Yes I too turned in a challenge, I sent it to MaryAnne with a little over two hours to spare... I made it in just under the wire...;)

Congrats again to both of the Coltrane Cousins!! :)

Alex

DaneyDuke

02-08-2007, 04:18 AM

*in the crowd, a sign waves carefully in the air*

Brian Coltrane

02-08-2007, 04:19 AM

My thanks to everybody who turned in a story, or who gave immoral support to the cause! Much appreciated! I look forward to reading everybody's stuff.

On a serious note, there's something to be said for keeping the creative juice going. Prior to the last three weeks, I'd been in a slump, and I wasn't contributing much to the collective cause. Beneath all the teasing here, there were some real issues that got addressed. A lot of positive changes got underway.

Sometimes MaryAnne and I have an odd way of sorting things out, but it works. And despite whatever access level I have here, she's not above booting my posterior out of the place, because she's done it before. (never fails to get my attention, either!) Whatever threats or dares we throw down, there's teeth to it. I don't know of any other Dukes site where the mods/admins ban each other to settle internal matters. Works for us, but maybe we're not the best example of how to run a website.

Anyhow, I've acheived the creative turnaround I needed, and chaos will ensue as usual. Thanks again to everyone who participated. And if you have ideas on how I can get a little revenge on MaryAnne for a March fanfic challenge...I'm all ears! Muahahaha.

Brian