Luke's funniest quotes

[Bo_Duke_girl]

Luke: Do you know why you have them hiccups?

Bo: (hiccup) No, why?

Luke: it's cause you scarf food down like tommorrow is the first day of a six month famine

[Iloveschnieder]

I love that line. Luke really had some good ones on Bo.

"Swamp Molly"
Luke to Bo: "You have the IQ of a turnip, a small one." :lol:

[DixieRose_00]

Luke to Bo in Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Duke: Do your mouth a favor and keep it shut

[Bo Duke's Girl]

Luke to Bo in Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Duke: Do your mouth a favor and keep it shutMy favorite too!

[Iloveschnieder]

That is a good line. I don't know why I like it so much when Luke gives Bo a hard time. I just do. lol

My funniest quote is one he says in " When You Wish Upon A Hogg"
after the boys have pulled over to side of the road and Bo is asleep.

Luke : Do you wanna drive ...... i guess not .

[Clayfreak24]

I liked the quote in Nothing But the Truth where he says "If everything is coming your way, chances are you're in the wrong lane."

[BCDR05]

My favourite is simple:

Luke: 'Bo..........' :evil:

[boiscute2007]

i lke it when luke says to bo - you have the iq of a turnip, a small one. i laugh when i hear it. my friend makes me laugh when she says it.

[Qualapec the She-Wolf]

I love from "A baby for the Dukes" when Rosco and Enos come riding up on their horses and the sirens that look like hats on the horses are going off and Luke says:

"What in the world is that?"

Very simple but very well delivered.

~She-Wolf

[spotop]

Bo and Luke have been caught by Rosco, Luke's left hand is cuffed to Bo's right. They escape and run to Dixie.

Bo: Oh great, just what I need, three hands on a steering wheel

Luke: Well I'd drive but you'd have to run alongside then.

[North_of_Border1]

It may not be the the exact wording but it went something like this:

Bo: Yeah I did the laundry so what?

Luke: So what !?! I got ring around the collar on the waistband of my boxer shorts that's so what !

Bo: Well then YOU do the laundry!

Luke: I would if didn't have dishpan hands up to my neck!


It's one of my favourite scenes. I laugh everytime.

Luke did have a lot of great funny lines.

[goodolboy85]

I think one of Luke's funniest quotes is:

from Luke's Love Story:

Amy Kreevy: Let me show you what the opposite sex can do.

Luke: Oh, I know what the opposite sex can do, I just do think a car is the proper place to do it! :lol:

[iloveluke'ssmileCNH320]

my favorite is in one armed bandits when rosco is running for sheriff:

Luke: I'm collectin these.

Bo: Why's that?

Luke: Linein' the rabbits cage. (then he opens the door and looks at Bo.)
Face up!

[BoJamesDuke]

Has to be the one from Route 7-11.

Daisy: Luke's got that look in his eye again...

Bo: Yeah. Right after he gets that he goes 'I got it, let's go Bo' and I get in trouble.

Luke: *grins as he comes out of his thinking stupor and snaps his fingers* I got it! Let's go Bo!

Love it, gives me giggles everytime

[BoJamesDuke]

Okay, some of these quotes are Bo as well but Bo has loads in his favourite quotes thing and I didnt think it was fair lol. But I think some of these are just such a good example of how Bo and Luke play off each other :-) Enjoy...there are quite a few for your entertainment :-S

------

The Hazzard Connection....

Luke: If you don’t slow down yer gonna get another speeding ticket.

Bo: Ah Luke your just jealous ‘cause that nice new waitress down at the Boar’s Nest took a cotton to me and not you.

Luke: Jealous, I ain’t Jealous! Her legs are too skinny.

Bo: Luke, her legs are not too skinny!

Luke: Maybe it’s just in comparison ‘cause you got shoulder’s like a line backer.

Bo: It ain’t funny….That is not funny.

******

(Bo and Luke are driving in separate Junkers, yelling out the windows at each other.)

Luke: She got skinny legs and crooked feet!

Bo: Then the moon’s made out of cream cheese buddy!

(Bangs into Luke)

Bo: You’re just jealous because she’s four inches taller and that threatens your masculinity.

Luke: Well if you’d take off them platform cowboy boots she’d be eating off the top of your head too!

********

Bo: Ah Enos, what are friends for huh?

Luke: Which reminds me Enos…ain’t you and Rosco been paying us Dukes a little more than our share of attention lately?

Enos: I’m sorry Luke, that’s police business, my lips are sealed.

Bo: You know Enos, we kinda thought you’d say that.

Luke: Still in all it don’t seem right to me a fellow should think something bad about his friends and not tell them about it.

Enos: Well gosh Luke I’m sorry, I just can’t tell you.

Bo: Well Enos I sure wouldn’t want it on my conscience that I wouldn’t let a buddy of mine defend himself against –

Luke: Ohmigosh!

Bo: What?

Luke: The brakes!

Bo: The Brakes?!

Enos: Do something Luke!

Luke: I am I’m praying!

Enos: I can’t do it! I can’t meet my maker with it on my conscience!

Bo: With what on your conscience Enos?

Enos: Sheriffs investigating Augie Detweiller. Thinks he’s a smuggler.

Luke: Smuggler? Augie Detweiller?!

Enos: Sheriff don’t know what he’s smuggling, only that Cooter and you Dukes is in on it and maybe Jesse and Daisy too!

Bo: Well if that ain’t enough to slow a fella down…

(Luke slows down)

*******

Luke: You got that right…Unless we beat Rosco to the punch and find out what Detweiller is smuggling before he does! Its simple!....Wonder why I didn’t think of it before….

********

Bo: Well…I count four of them in the crew, that’s two a piece…but seeing as you’re my buddy you can have one of mine…

Luke: You’re generous to a fault.

********

Bo: Well whatever we’re looking for ain’t in here.

Luke: O’course it ain’t!

Bo: Nah it ain’t…

*********

Luke: But we’re gonna need some help Uncle Jesse. We got a couple of guys madder than hornets behind us lookin’ to sink there stingers into some embarrassing places. (With this one, what makes it so comical is the way he says embarassing...makes me giggle every time.)

********* These are from various epsiodes that I cant remember where they come from lol *******

Luke: There’s your smugglers Rosco, you better grab them. I’m gonna go after Bo and the evidence I’ll be right back.

*********

Luke: If brains was dynamite Rosco couldn’t blow his nose.

*********

(At a warehouse. There is a guard in front of the door. Luke starts walking towards the door.)

Guard: (seeing Luke) Hey you!

Luke: Howdy.

Guard: What are you doing?

Luke: Well actually I’m looking for someone. (Bo jumps down off the roof and on top of the guard) Oh and here he is now!

Bo: (gets the guard off the floor)

Luke: This here’s my cousin Bo.

Bo: (knocks the guy out cold.)

**********

Bo: That sure was a funny place to put a barn.

Luke: You try a fool stunt like that again and I’ll find an even funnier place to put one!

**********

Bo: Ha ha. He sure is good.

Luke: Well you can tell him that. He's gonna catch us any minute the way you're pokin along.

Bo: Well I was gonna let you take that bow and hit his tires but I'm afraid you' miss and hit ours.

Luke: I sure wish there were some girls around here. Maybe you'd show off and drive faster!

**********

Bo: Looks like we lost Rosco

Luke: Cousin we never lose him, we just misplace him.

**********

Luke: You ARE aware this road goes to Dry Creek?

Bo: I AM aware this road goes to Dry Creek.

Luke: You are aware there's no way to get OVER Dry Creek?

Bo: [Stepping down on the gas, grinning] I am aware there is ONE WAY to get over Dry Creek!

Luke: Oh, Lordy! We're gonna die!

**********

Bo: Luke, I told you not to go this way.

Luke: How was I supposed to know the bridge was out?!

Bo: By that big, white sign that says ‘Bridge Out!’

**********

Jesse: "When You (Bo) was hungry, or wanted something, you used to scream like... like a baby!"

Bo: "Wait a minute! I was never--"

Luke: "Some things never change, do they?"

***********

Luke: Take that shortcut over there.*points*

Bo: That’s not a shortcut.

Luke: It will be once you take it!

Bo: You got a point.

***********

Bo: they're shootin at us!

Luke: course they are, what'd you expect em to do? Throw darts?

***********

Bo: It’s just a bugs bunny doll, who would shoot at a bugs bunny doll?

Luke: Elmer Fudd.

***********

Bo- "Ya got any idea what's wrong with it?"

Luke- "Only that the problem's religious in nature."

Bo- "Religious?"

Luke- "Yeah, you'd better pray I can fix it."

***********

Bo: Enos, you been taking Rosco pills?

Luke: What he means is, are you gonna give us a ticket fer somethin’ we didn’t do?

************

Luke: Hey Bo, do you wanna drive….*looks and sees Bo is asleep.* I guess not.

************

Luke: If everything is coming your way, chances are you’re in the wrong lane.

************

Bo: You figured out if it's us he's chasin’?

Luke: Yep got it all figured out. See anybody in front of us?

Bo: No

Luke: Then it's us!

************

[morgan]

Has to be the one from Route 7-11.

Daisy: Luke's got that look in his eye again...

Bo: Yeah. Right after he gets that he goes 'I got it, let's go Bo' and I get in trouble.

Luke: *grins as he comes out of his thinking stupor and snaps his fingers* I got it! Let's go Bo!

Love it, gives me giggles everytime

I guess more if this line are lost in the italian version, 'cause I don't remember most of this phrases.
But this one is quite the same and it's very very funny!

[traintownofcowee]

my favorite is in one armed bandits when rosco is running for sheriff:

Luke: I'm collectin these.

Bo: Why's that?

Luke: Linein' the rabbits cage. (then he opens the door and looks at Bo.)
Face up!

I SECOND THAT! :)

[morgan]

Well, maybe the italian version is a little different, so I write some funny phrase how they has been translated and putting the meaning between (); they are both in the episode "Big brothers"

Bo: Zio Jesse, comprami dei calzini
(Uncle Jesse, buy some socks)
Luke: Sì, compra i calzini al piccolo!
(ya, buy some socks for the baby!)

Bo and Luke are driving the General and following a little camion; Bo go out from the General and climb the camion
Luke (laughin): E' bravo quasi quanto me!
(He is good almost like me!)

[morgan]

From "Brotherly love" (don't know if someone just write this):
Luke (he weakes up after the accident): I risked to drown if I don't made him (Bo) stop crying
Bo: laugh
A funny, cute scene

[Lukas_KD]

Bo: Zio Jesse, comprami dei calzini
(Uncle Jesse, buy some socks)
Luke: Sì, compra i calzini al piccolo!
(ya, buy some socks for the baby!)

Bo and Luke are driving the General and following a little camion; Bo go out from the General and climb the camion
Luke (laughin): E' bravo quasi quanto me!
(He is good almost like me!)


Just thought you might enjoy the English versions too!:

Bo: Uncle Jesse, get me some socks, will ya?
Luke: (eyes rolling) Yeah please, get him some socks...
(From his expression, I think Bo had been borrowing all his! lol)

Luke: He did that almost as good as I would've...
(This was as much proud as teasing - but high-spirited definitely)

[Lukas_KD]

Also...


Luke (he weakes up after the accident): I risked to drown if I don't made him (Bo) stop crying


Luke: I just couldn't stand to see a grown man cry...

[morgan]

Thanks! Well, the last one has been translated very different from the original...

[morgan]

6th episode of 6th season:
Bo (to Luke): we did lots of street together, now we can think the same things, too
Luke: yes, it's fun, don't you?
Bo remains perplexed, don't sure if Luke meant that he can't ever think like him..

From "the boy's best friend" (this is not fun, but very sweet).
Bo (seeing a boy without his parents): that make me come back for some years.
Luke: I don't remember to be so sad, but I had you and Daisy

[morgan]

7th season, "welcome back to Hazzard, Cale Yarborough":
Bo: -don't worry, Cale! We found ourselves in worst situations-
Luke: -remember me when!-

[North_of_Border1]

Just thought you might enjoy the English versions too!:

Bo: Uncle Jesse, get me some socks, will ya?
Luke: (eyes rolling) Yeah please, get him some socks...
(From his expression, I think Bo had been borrowing all his! lol)

Luke: He did that almost as good as I would've...
(This was as much proud as teasing - but high-spirited definitely)

I liked the first one too!

I think Luke has that expression because Bo's socks must have become smelly. It's the way he says please.

Luke called Bo "il piccolo" in Italian? How cute!! Bo "the little one" LOL!

[morgan]

Luke called Bo "il piccolo" in Italian? How cute!! Bo "the little one" LOL!

Yes, it is!
I have another one, always 7th season, episode 14th episode (escape from jail):
Luke: -Bo?-
Bo: -Tell me-
Luke: -Why we always reach to escape?-
Bo: -'Cause nobody can't stop us!-

[morgan]

From "opening night at the Boars nest":
Bo: -bad landing! I've broken the shock absorber-
Luke: -my back, too!-
[...]
Luke: -could you try to avoid some hole?-

[morgan]

Season 7, episode 10:
Luke: -Let's go back to Boss office-.
Bo: -Yes, I'm sure we'll find something there-.
Luke (laughing): -Ah, and uncle Jesse says I'm the one that right!-

[LoriDavenport]

Luke in episode nothing but the truth, "If everythings comin your way, chances are you're in the wrong lane."

i love that quote, i dont know why. it is true though.

[BoJamesDuke]

Ok this isn't so much a funny quote but its one of my faves because it shows just how much Luek cares for his baby cousin. Y'all should know where its from.

Luke: Bo!

Bo: Owww...

Luke: *hurries and unties him* Are you alright?

Bo: *sits up* Yeah, yeah I'm fine....are you? You look awful...

Luke: Yeah well I was worried about you! You sure your alright?

I just think that's so sweet...

[LoriDavenport]

this aint really a quote or its not really funny but i LOVE how luke says it. its in the episode were the woman comes to hazzard as a deputy and helps escape a prisoner, Luke and Bo and Cooter are all looking in under that woman's hood and these two women walk by and go,"Hey Luke,"and Luke looks up and smiles sayin,"Hey there sweetheart." Its just how he says it is just soo.... I dont know sexy!!! lol The funniest part is when Bo and Cooter mock him and the girls that walked by lol.

[morgan]

Ok this isn't so much a funny quote but its one of my faves because it shows just how much Luek cares for his baby cousin. Y'all should know where its from.

Luke: Bo!

Bo: Owww...

Luke: *hurries and unties him* Are you alright?

Bo: *sits up* Yeah, yeah I'm fine....are you? You look awful...

Luke: Yeah well I was worried about you! You sure your alright?

I just think that's so sweet...

Yeah, I remember this! It's when Lulu was kidnapped!
It seems like the italian version even if, there, Luke only says "I was a little worried", don't adds "about you"

[LoriDavenport]

in th episode ghost of general lee, luke and bo got caught asking becky mae to borrow some of her pa's clothes and her mom finds them and shoos them away luke looked to bo and said,"Aman aint never been truley insulted till he stands in front of a woman butt naked and her not notice."

Bo looks back to her and says,"Or care!"


i thought that was hillarious.

[morgan]

Yeah, that was so fun and, I have to say, this time the italian translation was litterally!

[LoriDavenport]

Well I just watched Cale Yarborough comes to Hazzard and its quite funny actually that Bo said,"Don't you worry Cale we've been in worses situations before,"

And Luke looks at Bo and is like,"Ohh yea name one!!"

But what got me was Bp repeated hisself, was that a mistake cause Bo said the exact same line over and Luke had said back to him,"Bo, you've already dsaid that once."

I was wondering if that was in John's script or did he really make a mistake.

[morgan]

I don't think it was a mistake, maybe the only wanted to underline the funny side of the thing that Bo thinks they're often in trouble.
But...who can know that?

[LoriDavenport]

Lol yea true morgan, thanks fer yer input though!!

[BoJamesDuke]

Nah it aint a mistake, because after that Bo goes, 'I know, I was trying to convince myself this time.." It's just for comedic purposes and just helps to underline Bo's...blondeness sometimes lol.

[North_of_Border1]

in th episode ghost of general lee, luke and bo got caught asking becky mae to borrow some of her pa's clothes and her mom finds them and shoos them away luke looked to bo and said,"Aman aint never been truley insulted till he stands in front of a woman butt naked and her not notice."

Bo looks back to her and says,"Or care!"


i thought that was hillarious.


I saw that episode a few times and never saw that scene. CMT Canada must edit a lot of stuff out unfortunately. Stupid commercials.

[Garrett Duke]

If I remember right, I could be wrong, but I think it was edited out here in America as well. I never saw that part until I got the episode on DVD - as I said, if I remember right.

The first few episodes they seemed to have edited some important scenes as in the first episode - "One Armed Bandits" they edited the part out of Jill going to the farm to ask for money and the encounter with her and Bo. So it cuts back in with Waylon saying "All that romance does lead to something" or something like that, but watching it on TV, it doesn't make sense. Not until you watch it on DVD to see the whole thing. LOL.

Keep it between the ditches

Garrett Duke

[RogerDuke]

I sure appreciate my DVDs!!!!!!

[BoJamesDuke]

Wow...as far as I know, England never edited anything out! lol

[LoriDavenport]

Listen if you want good marksmanship, call Robin Hood!!

I love that one, the best Robin Hood i've seen.

[LoriDavenport]

In repo-man (i think lol)

Bo i believe had just drove through the barn and Bo had made the comment,"Sure is a funny place to put a barn," Luke looked at Bo and said,"You try that fool stunt again And I'll find an even funnier place to put one."

[RogerDuke]

I know a lot of us aren't too crazy about the episode "Strange Visitor to Hazzard" but it did give us this funny quote.
When Daisy suggested that aliens might be "trying to get ahold of us" Luke responded...
"They're going to get a strange impression of humanity if they stop in Hazzard!"

[LizzyJackson-Davenport]

the one I like isn't so much a Luke quote as it is Bo's and it just shows you how Blond Bo could really be. It's the one in my signature from Limo One is missing.

[daisydukeXenosstrait]

okay this quote from luke is from the episode "Daisy's Song"


Bo and Luke are talking to each other beside the General and Bo says "Hey, Luke why dont we try that old StoneWall Jackson trick" and Luke says "Well, Bo StoneWall Jackson had the whole confederate army to back him up and well ive got u"


i totaly lol'd at that 1 :lol:

[LoriDavenport]

Now, this quote comes from the episode Farewell, Hazzard... I find it quite funny as this sounds like something I would say or do...and have said before to one of my cousins..

"Roll it over, but don't kill us!"

It kinda makes ya wonder just how intelligent Luke really is...

[daisydukeXenosstrait]

its is funny and ur right wats was Luke thinking when he said that