Dukes/Okalahoma! Crossover

[Jamanda]

For those broadway fans out there! Go Tom Wopat!

OH WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MORNING

Bo and Luke are driving along in the General.

Bo: <sings>
There’s a bright golden gleam on the General
There’s a bright golden gleam on the General
He runs fast and high and soars through the skyyyy

Luke: <sings>
While red and blue gumballs are winking their eyes.

Bo: Ding dang it Rosco.
Luke: Don’t just sit there! Lose him!
Rosco: Oooh, we got ‘em now Flash!
Flash: Woof.

Rosco: <sings>
Oh what a beautiful morning khee khee
Oh what a beautiful day gkuh gkuh
I’ve got a beautiful feeling
This time they won’t get away!

Meanwhile, Cooter is on his way back from a job.

Cooter: <sings>
And I see the General flying
And Rosco’s patrol car is dying
When the Dukes have to flee, it means business for me!
I might as well follow behind just to see!

Bo and Luke make a wide turn and Rosco goes into the pond.

Bo and Luke: <sing>
Oh what a beautiful morning!
Oh what a typical day!

Rosco: <sings>
I’ve got a bad sinking feeling…

Cooter: <sings>
The Duke boys have gotten away.

Rosco: Cooter! Don’t just stand there! Get me out of here!
Cooter: Sure thing Rosco.

Cooter tows him out while hearing the Dukes sing again.

There’s a bright golden gleam on the General…

Rosco: Now they know the General Lee ain’t gold.
Cooter: Rosco, how many words do you know that rhyme with orange?
Rosco: Oooh, good point.

This has been Jamanda's random poetry corner. Tune in next time to see a Duke's version of SURREY WITH A FRINGE ON TOP.

[Opossumonagumbush]

You're a genius! I loved it!
I love Oklahoma! Maybe that's because I'm from Oklahoma and my family and I go and see it every summer. But anywho...

[Jamanda]

Thank you. We were born in Oklahoma, though we live in Kansas now (and we say Kansas is THE most boring state in the Union). Know why it's so windy in Oklahoma? Because Kansas sucks (a joke I heard in college from a friend from Tulsa). Anyhow, here's installment #2.

THE SURRY WITH A FRINGE ON TOP

Luke: Anyhow, we’re gonna be late.
Bo: Keep your shirt on. I know a short cut.
Luke: Oh no, not another one of your short cuts.

They cut cross country and show up, only a minute late, at Cindy Lou Moffet’s house.

Cindy Lou: There you are.
Bo: Well, come on Cindy Lou. We gotta drop Luke off in town to meet up with his girl.
Luke: Climb on in.

They take off.

Bo: <sings>
Don’t you love just ridin’ in the General?
Riding along with me in the General?
You and me and Luke in the General
With the flaaaag on top.

Now all we do is find Luke a lady
Drop him off and go where it’s shady
You and me in a nice place that shady
Where the time just stops
In the bright orange General
With a flag on the top!

[Jamanda]

PEOPLE WILL SAY WE’RE IN LOVE

Meanwhile, Enos has been told to stake out the farm in case Bo and Luke come back. As he does, Daisy comes out to do laundry. Enos tries to be discreet, but Daisy sees him anyway.

Daisy: <sings>
Don’t stand and spy on me
Don’t chase my car too much
Don’t stand and smile at me
People will say we’re in love

Don’t say you’re just doing your job
Don’t say you can’t tell me why
Don’t grin with that gleam in your eye
People will say we’re in love

Don’t start being sweet to me
Rosco’s upset with you enough
Don’t say it has to be this way
People will say we’re in love


Enos: <sings>
Don’t try distracting me
Don’t run me in the creek
Don’t kiss me on the cheek
People will say we’re in love

Don’t wear those shorts and heels
Don’t wear your shirt to low
You know what that does to me
People will say we’re in love

Don’t flash those eyes at me
Rosco’s upset with me enough
Don’t say it has to be this way
People will say we’re in love.

[Jamanda]

OL’ JUDD IS DEAD

Back in town, Boss is meeting with his lawmen, grieving about how little he’s made in the past month.

Boss: Oh my dear. Sometimes I think this town would be better off without me.
Rosco: Oh now Boss, you know that ain’t true. I mean…financially…yes…
Boss: I knew it!
Rosco: But everyone in town loves you too! Imagine how sad they’d be if you were gone. Ain’t that right Enos?
Enos: Yes sir, we’d all miss you Mr. Hogg.
Boss: They would?
Rosco: You know what they’d say?
Boss: What?

Rosco and Enos: <sing>
Old Boss is dead
A stone marks his head
And Lulu’s come to town dressed in black
(Enos: dressed in black)

He’s gone to his reward
And the sheriff’s awful sore
He won’t get his little fat buddy back

Dear Boss is dead
We’ve got Hughie Hogg instead
To steal and extort our money blind
The Beaudry’s run his still
Dewey Hogg took out his filll
Compared to them, our dear Boss was kind.

Pooor Boss
Poooo-oooor Boooooosssss

EVERYTHING’S UP TO DATE IN KANSAS CITY

Rosco: Besides Boss, I gotta report some things to ya.
Boss: Oh you do?
Rosco: Uh…Enos…Don’t you need to go on patrol?
Enos: Oh, right Sheriff.
Rosco: Now, Boss. I don’t think you have to worry about a thing.
Boss: I don’t?
Rosco: No…cuz <sings>
Everything’s running smooth in Hazzard County
We’ve gone about as far as we can go
Both your stills are running shine each hour of the day
We got a spare just in case one blows.

Boss: Rosco!
Rosco: <sings>
Everythings running smooth in Hazzard County
We got some trumped up charges for them Dukes
We’re gonna catch em someday and throw ‘em in the jail
Then when Jesse Duke shows up to offer us his bail
He’ll have to auction off the farm and move to Bloomingdale

Boss: <sings>
He’s gone about as far as he can go.

Rosco: Yes sir! He’s gone about as far as he can go.

[Jamanda]

(of course we like the Kansas City song :D This next one is for fans of the episode "Luke's Love Story")

ALL OR NOTHING

Luke is back at the Boar’s Nest meeting with his old girlfriend, Amy Creevy.

Luke: I really wish you’d stick around.
Amy: But you understand why I don’t.
Luke: I know…I’m just afraid I’ll fail you…again.
Amy: Luke Duke, you’re just gonna have to realize something.
Luke: What?

Amy: <sings>
With me, it’s all or nothing
Is it all or nothing with you?
It can’t be in-between
It can’t be now and then
No half-and-half with me will do

Luke: <sings>
So with you, it’s all or nothing
Despite the fact that I’m a Duke
If I don’t want you to go
I cannot act like Bo

Amy: <sings>
If I can do it now, then so can you

Luke: <sings>
And supposing I am successful?

Amy: <sings>
I’ll stick around and be with you.

Luke and Amy seem to reach an agreement for the time being and share a drink in the back of the bar.

[Jamanda]

(And now for the grand finale!)

THE FARMER AND THE COWBOYS SHOULD BE FRIENDS

Boss and the police officers arrive at the Boar’s Nest. Uncle Jesse arrives with Cooter behind them.

Boss: All right Rosco! Arrest Luke Duke!
Luke: For what?
Rosco: Never mind that now.
Enos: Sheriff? I thought we was arresting him for blowing up that still.
Luke: I didn’t blow up a still! I’ve been with Amy all afternoon.
Amy: Yes he has.
Rosco: Than it must’ve been Bo.
Bo: <coming in> Must’ve been me doing what?
Cindy Lou: <coming in> Bo ain’t done nothin’. We’ve been down at Jenson’s Hollow all day.
Rosco: Oh, bad news, bad news.
Enos: They all have alibis Sheriff.
Rosco: I know that you dipstick.
Boss: All right, all right then. Who did blow up my still?
Jesse: You mean the one over by Clear creek?
Boss: Yeah, that’s the one.
Jesse: Well, I think you found your answer. Didn’t you know they redrew the county line yesterday?
Boss: What? Oh no! My still! It’s in…
Cooter: Was in Chickasaw. Bet you anything ol’ Sheriff Little found it and…
Bo: Kabloooie!
Boss: Oh no hoooooo. That dang blasted lawman!
Jesse: J.D. You remember how that old song went?
Boss: Which one?
Jesse: You know <sings>

Oh the runners and the lawmen should be friends
Oh the runners and the lawmen should be friends
One is running making shine

Boss: <sings>
The other shoots them from behind.

Jesse: <sings>
But that’s no reason why they can’t be friends.

Luke: I like that. But I think we should update it.
Bo: I agree.

Bo and Luke: <sing>
Oh the Duke boys and the lawmen should be friends
Oh the Duke boys and the lawmen should be friends
One of ‘em drives the General Lee
The other works for ol’ JD
But that’s no reason why they can’t be friends

Enos and Cooter: <sing>
Hazzard folk should stick together
Hazzard folk should all be pals
Lawmen dance with the Duke boy’s daughter
Duke boys dance with the lawman’s gal!

Rosco: But you two ain’t got no daughters.
Jesse: No, but my brother was a Duke boy. And his daughter is dancing with your deputy.
Rosco: Enos!

Jesse: <sings>
I’d like to say a word for the Duke boys
If they need help to get out of hot water
Don’t treat them like a louse, make them welcome in your house

Mr. Moffet <pulling away Cindy Lou and sings>:
But first make sure you hide your wife and daughter!

Everyone: <sings>
Hazzard folk should stick together
Hazzard folk should all be pals
Lawmen dance with the Duke boy’s daughter
Duke boy’s dance with the lawman’s gal!

Boss: Bo Duke! I don’t care if Mr. Moffet did take your date! No one dances with Lulu but me!
Bo: Sorry Boss! Can’t hear ya!
Lulu: Ooooh, this is fun!

Enos: <sings>
I’d like to say a word for the lawman
People just don’t treat us like they should
I’m not saying that we're better than anybody else

Rosco: <sings>
But we’ll be danged if we ain’t just as good!

Enos: Sheriff!
Rosco: Well we are!

Everyone: <sings>
Hazzard folk should stick together
Hazzard folk should all be pals
Lawmen dance with the Duke boy’s daughter
Duke boy’s dance with the lawman’s gal!

OKALAHOMA!

Everyone gathers together for one last song.

Haaaaaaaazzard County
Where the General Lee flies across the sky!
And the Sheriff’s car
Don’t go that far
With Cooter’s tow truck standing by!

Haaaaaaazzard County
Everynight we sit and watch the show
As the sheriff and Boss
Are at a loss
As where the Duke boys seem to go.

We know we belong to the Boss
But the Duke boys are causing his loss
As we say yeeeee-ha!
A rip and roaring yeeeeee-ha!
We’re saying you’re looking fine Hazzard County!
Hazzard County.
Yeee Haa!

We know we belong to the Boss
But the Duke boys are causing his loss
As we say yeeeee-ha!
A rip and roaring yeeeeee-ha!
We’re saying you’re looking fine Hazzard County!
Hazzard County.
H A Z Z A R and D
Hazzard Couuuuuuun-ty!


This has been Jamanda's musical poetry corner. We now return to regular Hazzardnet programming.

[Opossumonagumbush]

Fantastic! Magnificent! Wonderful! These are just a few descriptive words to discribe this! It was much more fun than the Hugh Jackman version of Oklahoma. Which, if you haven't seen it, you should never watch it, because it's just a waste of three hours of your life.

You're right, Kansas is the most boring state in the Union. I have cousins that moved up there. So Kansas is the most boring state in the Union, but during the Civil War, Oklahoma was the most boring state in the Confederacy, it evens out.

[JESSI DUKE]

That was pretty good. I hope you do more like that.