Great Utterances from Rosco P. Coltrane

[Brian Coltrane]

Judas Priest onna pony!

[MaryAnne]

Jumpin' gee-hosa-fat!

[Brian Coltrane]

"Batteries die....why can't cars?"

[MaryAnne]

"Hush! Hush! Don't talk back to me when I'm yellin' at you! Jitjit!"

[Brian Coltrane]

"Enos, do you know what one casket said to the other.... is that you coffin?"

[MaryAnne]

"That boy ain't never gonna git the hang of this code talk!"

[Meadowmufn]

FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE!

[Meadowmufn]

Shame, shame, everybody knows your name!

[Brian Coltrane]

"No, Enos, I said MOOSE Creek! That's M as in moose, O as in moose, O as in moose, S as in moose, and E as in moose! Ya got that!"

[MaryAnne]

"Cletus? Oh he is a dipstick. I mean, even the dipsticks call him a dipstick!"

[MaryAnne]

P'lice work's mah life!!

[Brian Coltrane]

"Awwright you Dukes...pull over! I'm serious! I mean it this time....ooo, now you've done it! You've gone and made me mad..."

[MaryAnne]

Khee khee! I love it, I love it!!

[Meadowmufn]

"That would've killed ten ordinary men!"

[Meadowmufn]

"Buckle up for safety!"

[Brian Coltrane]

"What a horrendous crash!"

[Jamanda]

Now Flash, if I don't catch them Duke boys, Boss is gonna kill me. And dead men can't buy doggie num nums!

[Brian Coltrane]

"Say 'hello from Rosco!' "

[DaneyDuke]

"You road apple!"

[BoDuke'sGirl]

Goo! Goo! Goo! Goo! Goo!

[bethie88]

"Well, without further ado... that's French..."

[1hellraiser]

I done scuffed my vehicle

[lost_sheep3]

"I got 'em, this time I really got 'em!"

[BoDuke'sGirl]

Freeeeeeze!! I love it! I love it!

[lostsheep22]

Enos, I'm gonna corn your dog, you turnip

[lost_sheep3]

"Them Dukes are slimier than six slick snakes in an oil slick."

[Jamanda]

Rosco: You quack!
Slick: Stop calling me that!
Rosco: Quack, quack, quack!
Boss: Oh will you two kiss and make up?!
Rosco: I ain't kissin' no duck!

[jllybn]

"I feel like a cow chip in a wind tunnel."

[essyjane]

LOL

[Captain Murphy]

GKHUU GKHUU GKHUUUU.......[one of my favorites]
KHEE!KHEE!KHEE!
IJIT!
I'M GONE!
CLETUS,YOU DIPSTICK!

[essyjane]

Doggy num-nums

that's mine

[DaneyDuke]

"That's a naughty, naughty. You aren't copperatin'!"

Daney

[alexrules43]

"Flash, you're a lousy driver! Now turn them lights off!" *lightbar turns off* "Guh? Jitjit!"

[iloveluke6]

cuff um and stuff ums my favorite

[TRPColtrane95]

Rosco: "Enos! cuff the dukes and take away.... "

Enos: "cuff them?"

Rosco: " Enos!, damn you, dipstick!"

Enos: "on yes sir"

Dukes: "Hey, Rosco, we does not wrong"

Rosco: " nah, nah, shame on you "

[Daisy_Duke_Girl]

:D i luv: Kew Kew Kew!

Cuff em' n' stuff em'

i luv it!! i luv it!!!

hot persuit!!!!!!

and lots more!!!!!!!!!!

Rosco is soooooooooooooo funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D

[bethie88]

"No more hot persuit, Velvet Ears."

[MaryAnne]

"Flash, not one woof outta you about this to my insurance agent!"

[TRPColtrane95]

Flash: "woof!"

[Daisy_Duke_Girl]

"i luv it i luv it"
"were in hot persuit"
"enos you dipstick"
"shame shame everybody know's your name"
"now ya see there that's naughty naughty"
"ohh good grief"
"tiddly tuddly"
"arrrrrre you kiddin meeeeee"
"enos this is your superior officer roscooooo p. coltrane"
"kew kew kew"
"that's a big ten four little fat buddy"
"ya dun scuffed my ve-hicle"

and many more!!!!!

I loved it when he said the "no enos i said MOOSE creek, m as in moose, o as in moose, o as in moose, s as in moose, and e as in moose!!! do u got that??" and then cooter said "he must mean moose."

and i laughed my head off when he said "batteries die boss, why can't cars? come back?" :lol: :lol: :lol: :D :D :D

[DixieRose_00]

Don't foget about these ones!!!

Ohh what a horrendous crash
That crash woulda killed ten ordinary men!!! I tell you I'm made of steel!!

[Daisy_Duke_Girl]

how did i forget "what a horendous crash it's in my sig.???? LOL!!! but i didn't put a couple that are in my signature. LOL!!! :D :D :D

[Qualapec the She-Wolf]

"What a horrendous crash! That would'a killed 10 ordanary men!!!"

:)

Also...

"The duke boys done gone in the pond!"

~She-Wolf

[DixieRose_00]

Gyuk!! Gyuk!! Gyuk!! Frrrreeeeezzzzzeeeee!!! I see you!!!

[Daisy_Duke_Girl]

"Ghost or no ghost that's county property!!" FREEEEEEEEZE!!!!!! :D :D :D

[Daisy_Duke_Girl]

"They give money back guarantee, maybe they have a buddy back guarantee." :D :D :D

[iloveluke6]

Opening Night at the Boar's Nest

Rosco looking at "magic manual" thing: "Making a plump person disapper, see fat"
I don't know why I thought that was so funny but it was...

[redneck woman]

I know this has already been posted, but I saw the episode with this in it last night and just have to add it again.

"I'm gonna corn your dog you turnip!" Rosco to Enos.

Rosco had some of the best lines.

[Daisy_Duke_Girl]

Rosco: Enos what are you doin here, ur suposed to be followin that RV?!?
Enos: I'm just followin you like you told me to Sheriff, Monkey See Monkey Do.
Rosco: I'll Monkey See Monkey Do do you!!!!
:D :D :D

[iloveluke6]

Rosco over cb-Cleatus what the heck are you doin' skinny dippin'
Cleatus-I dont go skinny dippin' I anit got nowhere to put my badge
Rosco- If you dont get over here now Im gonna show you where to put that badge.... :D

[Daisy_Duke_Girl]

Hush just Hush!!! :D :D :D

[jakhammer]

i use the saying FREEEZE!! FREEZE!! WHEREVER I GO !!! FREEZE! LOL 8)

[jakhammer]

YEAH MEADOWMUFFIN THATS MY FAV SAYING BY ROSCOE P COLTRANE FREEEZZZZE!!! :x

[Daisy_Duke_Girl]

Rosco: Boss I don't think it's fair that i only get 50% of 50%
Boss: Well then I'll give you 50% of 50% of 50%
Rosco: Oh that's better! :D :D :D

[HotHillbilly]

(as he's writing a ticket up for the Duke boys)
"Destroying county property. Resisting arrest. Speeding, and uh uh oh-" (he looks into the General and sees the boys butt naked except for their cowboy boots) " and indescent exposure..." :lol: hahaha. I started crackin up. lol.

[Daisy_Duke_Girl]

"You know the part i liked best was when he grabbed the rope and swung..." (Boss stops him before he finishes) It was the way he said it though it was sooo funny!! :D :D :D

[iloveluke6]

"You know the part i liked best was when he grabbed the rope and swung..." (Boss stops him before he finishes) It was the way he said it though it was sooo funny!! :D :D :D

I lmao when he said that! :lol:

[TRPColtrane95]

Boss: said to Rosco, " you are Mud"
Rosco " oh dezz"
Rosco: " Cletus, you Dipstick!'

that funny one... what I seen one those... when they jump over on top on the Cletus's car... lol :lol: :)

[Daisy_Duke_Girl]

Rosco: Boss I think we lost em'
Boss: We, what you should say is "I"
Rosco: Alright well maybe you did lose em, but...
(Boss stops him in the middle of his stupidity....lol!...I love Rosco!!) YOU LOST THEM!! :D :D :D

[Daisy_Duke_Girl]

In "Dukes in Danger"

(After Rosco dropped chains on Cletus's head and then Cletus threw them on Rosco's foot)

Rosco: This is sheriff Roscooooo P. oooo Coltrane.
Boss: Where the devil are you? You sound like your in a boiling hot bath tub.
Rosco:ooooooooooo
Boss: Never mind you just get yourself to the Duke Farm on the double.

later on....

Rosco: Cletus you just get in your ve-hicle and head to town and stay away from my ve-hicle!
(Rosco getting into his patrol car)
(Rosco to Cletus) I hate you!
Cletus: That's not nice. :D :D :D

[Daisy_Duke_Girl]

In "Brotherly Love"

Luke: He's my brother
Boss: Your Brother?
Rosco: Your Brother?
Boss: Rosco did you hear that?
Rosco: Yea, I heard it when he said it and you said it and I said it.

I thought that was sooooo funny!! :D :D :D

[redneck woman]

That was pretty funny, right up there with Rosco and Boss doing the Tango together. :lol:

[TRPColtrane95]

That was pretty funny, right up there with Rosco and Boss doing the Tango together. :lol:

yeah, I agree this that they tried teach boss how are he tried.. and this funny almost make me laught for moment... :lol: :)

[Daisy_Duke_Girl]

In Dukescam Scam:

Boss:Bring me food every three hours on the dot starting with a big plate of my favorite, raw liver.
Rosco: Raw liver
Boss: I sure got a craving for it, can't get enough of it these days. Rosco I'm going to celebrate with raw liver!!!
Rosco: With raw liver!!! Raw liver......blek!!

I loved that!!!! :D :D :D

[Jamanda]

From Baby for the Dukes

Boss shows Rosco and Enos all the cars they wrecked.

Enos: See that one on the end? That one's yours Sherriff.
Rosco: It's all Enos's fault.
Enos: Pardon me Sherriff, but it takes two to tango!

Rosco's been apprehended by the snooty city slicker and decides to give the Dukes a warning that they're being followed.

Rosco: Oooh, there's that chicken hawk. That's the one that's been killing all them chickens! <BANG> <BANG>

[Bryan UK Hazzard Fan]

How about "Theres a Flaw in the Slaw" Remember that from one episode that made me chuckle

[Iloveschnieder]

I just watched Cletus Falls in Love and I loved the line that Rosco says to
Flash as the Dukes come barreling down the road with a bag of bank money in the middle of it.

"I know that this is hard, but try to look alive"

I love it, I love it.

And I always felt bad for Rosco when ever he would take 50% of 50% of 50%. Even with my poor math skills I knew that was a baaad deal.

[georgiagal1]

Boss: And we'll split the loot 60, 40
Rosco: 60, 40....60, 40??
Boss: Would you prefer 70, 30?
Rosco:No No 60, 40...we'll cut straight down the middle and hang a right

[Jamanda]

From High Octane

Boss: Rosco, we're gonna have an alternative to fossil fuels! And don't ask me what kind of fuel fossils run on.

Then as Rosco leaves the building.

Rosco: What is "it"? Who's "he"? What kind of fuel do fossils run on?

[Iloveschnieder]

In the words of Rosco "I love it, I love it!"

[Mrs.BoDuke80]

Enos! this is your superior officer Rosco P. Conltrane
Oh I'm in Hot Pursuit
I Love it ! I love it
Oh that was a *horrendous* crash
I'm gonna cuff ya an' stuff ya
Ya dun scuffed my ve-hichle
Jumpin Jehoshaphat
Shame, Shame, everybody knows your name
Enos, you dipstick
Cletus, you dipstick
Buckle up for Safety
10-4 Little Fat Buddy
That Smarts
Judas Priest on a Pony
Enos, do you know what one casket said to the other is that you coffin
Will you hush
That's teargas
Here they come
Come into my parlor said the spider to the bee
Whip out your weapon
Enos, They're heading for the Kissin' Cliff
Enos, You head for Black tar road and try to cut them off
Hey, wait
Come back here
They got my keys, and got your car! Why did you leave the keys in your car for?
Don't try to blame me
Look at that
Boss, you got your ears on? come on? Not exactly Boss. Come back We're burning rubber . Over and out
Enos, after me
And there they go
That was thrilling. It was a good thing that I was driving Boss
Left? Right
I did scuff it a little didn't I?
Well, I'll just
No, I just knocked the front bumper off a little
That's smart, cheif
There they go and here I come
Enos, will you hush
That's Flash I got a good deal on him
I got him from Police Gazette Magaine
I'll tell you one thing, Boss, he can smell a crook about a mile off
He said name one we don't need the whole history of Hazzard County
Fired?
You will snap, and snarl, and bite
And What word would you like? Hockeypuck? Butterfingers? or just plain old dipstick
Flash, you've got your own crime wave of fleas going here
No, wait a minute, Enos
Cletus Hogg? he is stupid. I mean, even the dipsticks call him a dipstick
Don't you do that Enos!
Enos, come back here!
They're serious about that, ain't they?
Flash, everybody's a dipstick except you and me, I guess
Flash!
Put you paw on the brake!
Get your foot on the brake!
You're gonna crush me
Flash, it's gonna to hit the tree!
You all right, Flash?
Flash you are a lousy driver
At least you're wearing your seatbelt
Turn out the lights will you?
I'm going down with the ship
Say Hello from Rosco
Enos your sittin on my foot
So's your brain, now you match on both ends!
Don't try to blame me!!!!
Enos...Enos Strate, what are doing here?
Now Boss, you owe me
I'm not that type of girl
If brains were gunpowder, Enos couldn't blow his nose
Now Mama always said that Enos would find a wife before I do!
Get your hands off me, you quack!
Good news, Good news
Tiddly Tuddly
Boss: Rosco you Jackass!
Rosco: That's SHERIFF Jackass to you!
Rosco: That was a horrendous Rolly-Coaster ride
That put a quiver in my liver
There's a flaw in the slaw
Rosco {To Uncle Jesse} I'm not that type of girl

[Iloveschnieder]

From Brotherly Love after Rosco and Boss meet Lukes Brother Jud Cane.

Rosco: "Those Duke Boys were lying they were. Lying just like a tombstone. Than man was no more Like Dukes brother than I am second cousin to a jackass.
Boss: "Well yea he is and you are."

While dancing with Boss holding a rose in his mouth.
"Your scuffing my fern"

From A Baby For the Dukes
After Boss rode back with Rosco on the horse.
"Oh your little Hoggonomics, are they tender?"

From Goodbye General Lee
Talking about the General Lee to the hired drivers at the Drag 'N Fly.

Rosco: " I'll Tell you one thing, that General Lee's about half-human."
Boss: "That's right. And each of them Duke boys was born with a silver gass peddle in his mouth."

[DukesFan82]

LOL! I do remember them.

Rosco: "Let's catch these Duke boys right now!"
Enos: "Okay, Sheriff."

then they tried to find Duke boys in their General Lee then they missed them. :D

[bethie88]

Boss Hogg: Rosco, you Jackass!
Rosco: That's SHERIFF Jackass to you!

Rosco: "That was a horrendous Rolly-coaster ride."

[Qualapec the She-Wolf]

"Enos! Can't ya count it like Boss does? His little fat fingers just fly."

:D That's a tongue-twister.

~She-Wolf

[G.D.]

hey velvet ears!!!

[ginod]

"The name is ColTRANE, There ain't no brain in it..."

"I saw them dukes taking some dirty payoff money, and we gonna nail them, guilty or not."

"Oooh, little fat buddy"

[bethie88]

"Ooo! There's a flaw in the slaw somewhere."

[Garrett Duke]

I can't remember what episode it was in or if it was mentioned in this thread before...but I always get a laugh in it

Rosco at Enos after Enos running into him: "Don't talk to me when I'm yelling at you!" :lol:

[Enos Fan]

I think one of my favorite Rosco moments was when he was talking to Boss Hogg in 'The Late JD Hogg'.

Boss: I ain't worried about what she said, I'm worried about what St. Peter will say when I start knocking on them Pearly Gates.

Rosco: Boss, you don't have to worry what he's gonna say, 'cause you'll be going the other direction.

I howled with laughter when he said that and pointed downward. I had to back up the DVD and watch the scene again.

[Meadowmufn]

I think one of my favorite Rosco moments was when he was talking to Boss Hogg in 'The Late JD Hogg'.

Boss: I ain't worried about what she said, I'm worried about what St. Peter will say when I start knocking on them Pearly Gates.

Rosco: Boss, you don't have to worry what he's gonna say, 'cause you'll be going the other direction.

I howled with laughter when he said that and pointed downward. I had to back up the DVD and watch the scene again.

I think it was because he said it so matter-of-factly and straight-faced that made the scene so hilarious. :lol:

[MaryAnne]

There's another scene like that from "Nothin' but the Truth" when Boss says "I'm tellin' the truth! Don't you know the truth when you hear it?"

And Rosco replies straight faced, "Not comin' from you..."

KHEE!

[FreeLantz]

In the first episode Rosco comandeers a flat-bed with a piano on the back to chase Daisy in his own patrol car. When Rosco tells him to speed up, the guy driving the flat bed says "I don't want to get a ticket" and Rosco yells back "from WHO jackass!" :D

[Bill-Duke]

On Goodbye General Lee Boss want Rosco to be the driver in the Drag-N-Fly contest because his drivers did not show up. Boss puts him in the car and he says "Oh, I'm too old to die!"

[Boss Hogg]

Wow I think I ran thru all nine pages and did not see one of Rosco's most famous quotes from nearly every show-

"That's a big 10-4 little fat buddy...Im gone":lol:
Jimmy Best is the best:-P

[TRPColtrane95]

Wow I think I ran thru all nine pages and did not see one of Rosco's most famous quotes from nearly every show-

"That's a big 10-4 little fat buddy...Im gone":lol:
Jimmy Best is the best:-P

yeah I forget that one too I almost to do that.. and yeah I see some on tv sorry... boss hogg... :)

[RogerDuke]

I like this one from "By-Line Daisy Duke" when Rosco didn't understand what Boss was trying to explain to him.
"I hear you cluckin' but I can't find the nest"