Jesse Quotes

[JESSI DUKE]

What's your favorite Uncle Jesse quote? Mine is
"Dukes don't fight Dukes." 8)

[Jamanda]

Jesse: And don't go selling 'em at a profit. That'd be wrong too.

Jesse: ONE OF THESE DAYS I'M GONNA TAKE THESE DANG DOORS OFF!

Jesse: The family line ends with Daisy. The chances of either of you two producing a family ranks right up there with hogs producing beef.
Luke: Thanks a lot.

Jesse: You know...it is kinda funny.
(anyone know what episode this was from by the way?)

[bethie88]

[to Cooter] "I ain't your Uncle Jesse."

[DixieDavenport]

"The next time you want to do a fool thing like that (lend you car to Cooter) just run it off a cliff and save on gas!!

DixieDavenport

[Jamanda]

Jesse: The Dukes don't run. Sometimes we'd like to run and sometimes we oughta run. But we don't and we won't.
Bo: Why? Just cuz we're Dukes?
Jesse: No. Cuz we got nowhere else to go. Heh heh.

Jesse: Now we Dukes take revenge on property...not people.

Enos: You snookered me Uncle Jesse.
Jesse: Well...yes...But Enos, I think you wanted to be snookered...See deep down I think you want to fight this system just as badly as we do.
Enos: That may be so but I still have to do my duty as a sworn in lawman! I'll see you later Uncle Jesse.
Jesse: Heh heh...Sworn in lawman.

[BH03]

A couple of mine favorites quotes are:

Jesse: The family line ends with Daisy. The chances of either of you two producing a family ranks right up there with hogs producing beef.

and

Don't remind me! When he is talking to the boys and Cletus about breaking out of jail in the Road Pirates episode

[Jamanda]

Luke: Uncle Jesse, I hate to ask but, can we borrow the pickup?
Jesse: Well...uh...keys are in it...but...
Luke: Thanks Uncle Jesse (runs off)
Jesse: Oh...if they weld them doors shut...

[Canadian_Country_Cousin]

"It's like going to chruch without yer shirt on! It just don't feel right!!"

"Pride makes a good friend, but a poor master"

"How many times have I said look after Daisy! And how many times have you said We will Uncle Jesse? And whaddya do? Ya get her throwd in jail! Now get her out!"

And ps Jamanda I believe that was Carnival of Thrills, Luke was getting yelled at by Jesse in the Jeep, they pull over and Jesse starts jumping around, "So yer prides been hurt! And ya gotta lash out and hit something! Well hit me!! I rather go through the pain of that then watch you two hit each other!" He puts up his hands and jumps around ready to fight Luke, who tries real hard not to laugh. Luke says "Ok your right Unca Jesse I was an idiot I'll admit it" or something he gets in the jeep followed by Jesse, That's when he smiles and says, "Ya know it is kinda funny!"

[iloveluke6]

Uncle Jesse to Boss- You overdressed marshmellow....

[Daisy_Duke_Girl]

iloveluke6 wrote:

Uncle Jesse to Boss- You overdressed marshmellow....

That was soooo funny!!

I also loved it in "The Law and Uncle Jesse" when.....

Uncle Jesse:(Mocking Rosco while in hot persuit of Bo and Luke) I love it I love it, kew kew, hot persuit!!
Boss:That was a terrible impression of Rosco

I loved that!!! :D :D :D

[iloveluke6]

iloveluke6 wrote:

Uncle Jesse to Boss- You overdressed marshmellow....

That was soooo funny!!

I also loved it in "The Law and Uncle Jesse" when.....

Uncle Jesse:(Mocking Rosco while in hot persuit of Bo and Luke) I love it I love it, kew kew, hot persuit!!
Boss:That was a terrible impression of Rosco

I loved that!!! :D :D :D

That was a good one from Boss and Jesse :D

[Canadian_Country_Cousin]

I can't remember the start of the qoute im thinking off, but it ends with Jesse saying, "he had a couple nephews too, Frank and Jesse." And then the boys double over laughing...what episode was that??

[redneck woman]

If I'm thinking correctly that quote is from "Repo Men". Anyone? Please correct me if I'm wrong

[redneck woman]

Jesse to Boss: JD, why don't you go fry yerself a snowball?

I just caught that one last night. I thought it was pretty funny.

[bethie88]

I'd just like to know what you're talking about....

[just_me]

'A stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet

'Pride makes a poor master'

from Luke's love story:

'Luke i've been watching you and if it comes to women your as subtle
as a....don't now it exactly but I think it was something like sledgehammer

from Carnaval of thrills:

“Bo,I know you don’t wanna be lectured but, well there’s a couple of things I want ya ta take with ya, First one is, I want ya to know I love ya dearly,The other one is, whenever you get through doin’ whatever it is ya gotta do, realize this is your home, you can always come back.”

'Cooter! I'm not your Uncle Jesse!!!'

Daisy: How do ya come so wise?
Jesse: That's where old men 'for.


I love Uncle Jesse he's my favorite character, I wished I had someone like him around me while growing up.

JM

[Jamanda]

Jesse: YOU DUMB IDIOTS! 180 ACRES OF LAND AND YOU GOTTA RUN OVER ME!?

[Mrs.BoDuke80]

Cooter I am not your Uncle Jesse
Dukes don't fight Dukes
B'sides when we was makin' corn whiskey, we paid taxes on the corn. Gamblin's a vice. How you gonna tax vice?
There you are, my boys, Bo, Luke....Now get in that barn before I take a whip to you...that scream's gonna bring out everybody in Hazzard County!
Shepard to lost sheep, shepard to lost sheep

[ginod]

I don't know the exact words anymore, but it's form Carnival of Thrills when they are sitting and he wants to talk to the lord:

"Who in the world is calling to someone when he is talking to his lord..... uh uh...... amen.. Get it" .... That Get It makes it verry funny !

And after one o his famous speeches to the dukeboys: "And get rid of that hickups !" :lol:

And also from Carnival of Thrills, when he had a discussion with Luke, after It 's kinda funny, That laugh of him, it gives me a warm feeling !!! :D

[Bill-Duke]

I think this is on the One Armed Bandits episode.

Jessse to Bo and Luke: The chance of you two producing a family is way up there with hogs producin' beef.

[BoJamesDuke]

Okay this one had been aforemention, when Jesse is yelling at Luke in Carnival of Thrills, but I am sad and know the whole scene lol. So i thought I'd share it with you all because it is fantastic and Jesse is just so funny.

Balladeer: No sooner than Uncle Jesse and Daisy got Luke sprung out of Iron City, they sprung another surprise on him.

Luke: What’s the matter Daisy; you forgot the way back to the farm?

Jesse: We ain’t goin’ to the farm.

Daisy: We’re headed to the fairgrounds to try and talk some sense into Bo’s head.
Luke: That’ll be the day.

Jesse: Now Luke, Bo may be acting a little stupid these days but he ain’t the first man to be smitten by a woman.

Luke: Uncle Jesse, it’s a waste of time. Anybody who’s fool enough to let a girl like that come between him and his family…he don’t even deserve to be called a Duke.

Jesse: Daisy, stop the car.

Daisy: What?

Jesse: Turn her off! I said turn her off!

Daisy: Ok.

*stops and Jesse gets out.*

Jesse: Get out!

Luke: What for?

Jesse: Just get out here! Couple of things you and me have got to settle.

*Luke gets out*

Jesse: Now then. If there’s one thing I taught you boys I thought it was there’s two sides to every argument.

Luke: All right, well this time Bo’s on the wrong side!

Jesse: Oh he is is he? Well his excuse is he’s in love what’s yours?

Luke: Well I don’t take kindly to being punched in the face for speaking my mind!

Jesse: Oh! So your pride’s been hurt?! And you gotta strike out and hit something? Well all right, hit me!

Luke: Uncle Jesse, you know I can’t!

Jesse: Why not? I’d rather see you hit me than go through the pain of watchin’ you two hit each other! Now listen to me. Us Dukes ain’t got much when it comes to worldly goods but we got something more important. We got love and respect for each other that binds us together like glue! Us Dukes is one. So just put them up! Just go ahead, put ‘em up! *Luke starts to laugh* ‘Cause I’ll tell you what, I ain’t about to stand aside and see my family torn apart by a couple of hotheads that think they got no more sense than a chicken raiding a foxes den! It ain’t funny!

Luke: *Laughing* All right Uncle Jesse, you win! I was hotheaded, I was a Jackass! I can see the only thing we got is family and boy what a family! All we gotta do is convince Bo that the family’s the important thing! Come on, hop in. Let’s go.

Jesse; Get in there!

Luke: All right, All right I’m going. *Gets back in the Jeep* Start her up Daisy. Come on Uncle Jesse; get in for Pete’s sake.

Jesse: You know…it is kinda funny.

[FreeLantz]

"Us Dukes get our revenge on property, not on people"

[loner]

i think that my all time fave Jesse comment is
"Cooter! I'm not your Uncle Jesse"

[RogerDuke]

from "The Runaway" season 2
"Farmers is the backbone of this U S of A nation."

[RogerDuke]

This isn't really a Jesse quote but one about him from Waylon in "Mason Dixon's Girls." "When a man like old Jesse talks you just tend to believe it no matter how strange the story is. That's something they call integrity."

[Enos Fan]

iloveluke6 wrote:
Uncle Jesse:(Mocking Rosco while in hot persuit of Bo and Luke) I love it I love it, kew kew, hot persuit!!

That was so funny. I had to back up the DVD and watch that scene again, I was on the floor laughing. I loved that, it was probably my favorite Jesse moment of them all.

[Eleonora]

This is from "Daisy's Song", right before Bo and Luke go off to look for Lester Starr:

"You gotta remember, boys... You gotta give them city people the benefit of the doubt. It ain't right to take advantage of them just because they don't know no better".

[Julieduke]

This is from "Daisy's Song", right before Bo and Luke go off to look for Lester Starr:

"You gotta remember, boys... You gotta give them city people the benefit of the doubt. It ain't right to take advantage of them just because they don't know no better".
They need to put some of Jesse's quote's on keychains I would buy them.

[RogerDuke]

Here's a good Uncle Jesse quote from "By-Line Daisy Duke" (season 3). "J.D., why don't you go fry yourself a snowball."

[RogerDuke]

Here's another good Jesse quote. It's from "Nothin' but the Truth"
"J.D., your word is about as worthless as a milk bucket under a bull."
(Actually Jesse was wrong this time because Boss was on truth serum)

[BoJamesDuke]

I love the one from Dear Diary that goes something like...

"JD, I got more integrity than you got in your whole lil' pinky..."

[RogerDuke]

This is a Waylon quote about Jesse. It seemed to make more sense to put it here instead of the Waylon thread. It's from "Luke's Love Story"
"That's Uncle Jesse...and underneath those long johns you'll find every one of those 10 Commandments."

[LoriDavenport]

I love this one its shprt sweet and simple and its something I say alll the time

"What fer?"

[RogerDuke]

Here's a good Jesse quote from "Double Sting"
"I want to thank you boys from making my sunset years so stimulating."

[RogerDuke]

Hey Lori, I was thinking of you the other night because I was watching R.I.P. Henry Flatt (what little I can see of it...my DVD is defective) and at the end Jesse says "What fer?"....then Rosco mockingly says "that's what fer". I cracked up. Things like that is what I watch Dukes fer.

[LoriDavenport]

LOL i get made fun of at school for going around saying what fer or i reckon ALL the time lol. thats what they usually say to me is,"Thats what fer!" It makes me mad though when they make fun of me!! cant help it Im a redneck!!

[RogerDuke]

One of my all time favorite scenes is from part 2 of "Carnival of Thrills" when Daisy is driving Dixie while Luke and Jesse are passengers. Luke is so mad at Bo that he makes the comment that Bo doesn't deserve to be called a Duke. Jesse makes Daisy stop the Jeep and yells at Luke then puts up his fists and dances around like Mohommad Ali. I could watch that scene a zillion times and never stop smiling.

[TXZ045]

I got some good laughs out of this thread. I own all the Dukes seasons, I will have to come up with a good Jesse Quote to add in here I reckon. I also say 'I Reckon' alot and people think I weird, or 'old', when Im only 33.

[LoriDavenport]

"Now Boys you gotta give them city people the benefit of the doubt just cause they dont know no better...." and I cant member the rest lol!! from Daisy's song..I thought it was funny cause ti minds me of when i was little, my poor old cousin from Indiana came to visit and well he wasnt use to swinging on grapevines or anything and he had no clue what we were talking bout..poor feller..

[RogerDuke]

That's one of my all-time favorite quotes too Lori. The cool thing is that when Jesse says it, it doesn't even sound like he's degrading anyone. That man has so much genuine love in his heart, he could never hurt anybody.
Uncle Jesse for President!!! (Charlie Daniels for VP)

[LoriDavenport]

That's one of my all-time favorite quotes too Lori. The cool thing is that when Jesse says it, it doesn't even sound like he's degrading anyone. That man has so much genuine love in his heart, he could never hurt anybody.
Uncle Jesse for President!!! (Charlie Daniels for VP)

LOL that is true RogerDuke ill agree 100% with you. Well personally, I still say Charlie Daniels for President!! but Id have a hard time choosin tween the two.

[General Grant]

Hey Y'all!

Great quotes. I really enjoyed reading them! I had forgotten how many great things Uncle Jesse said. There are so many shows, it is hard to remember all of the highlights of the series sometimes! I have to say though, that I think one of my all time favorite lines is when Jesse says about city people not knowin' any better! I understand that completely! I always joke about that when I see city folk.
I don't know 'bout Charlie Daniels for president... I have only heard one of his songs "The Devil went down to Georgia" but I'd have to say I agree with Uncle Jesse for president. Or, shall I say fer president!

Catch y'all later!

General Grant

[RogerDuke]

Good one General, that was creative!!!
By the way, "Devil Went Down to Georgia" isn't even in the top 10 of my favorite Charlie songs. That man is so talented it's unbelievable.

[LoriDavenport]

I want to listen to the country music gospel... the one were Charlie Daniels sings...uhhh..lord how mercy I forgot I'll have to watch the commercial again!! lol I still say Charlie Daniels for President!!! be better than Bush!

[Denver C.]

There's one that I can't believe nobody has mentioned yet from "Swamp Molly."
"Why in the world would somebody want to blow up an outhouse?" I admit, something about the look on his face when he says it always makes me laugh!

[RogerDuke]

This isn't a Jesse quote but a Waylon quote about Jesse. It's from "High Flyin' Dukes"

Now they've riled Uncle Jesse, which is right up there with nude sky diving and eating a rattlesnake head first on the list of things you shouldn't do.

[LoriDavenport]

this one is from Officer Daisy Duke, its more of a conversation between Cooter and Jesse.

Cooter: Uh Uncle Jesse, who's gonna watch the boys?

Jesse: Well..who do you think you dummy, we are! now c'mon!

Cooter: yea, but who's going to watch us?