Wanted: Good ideas for bad deeds

[Brian Coltrane]

( A black-clad figure walks up to the town bulliten board and posts a notification that reads...)

If you're the Hazzard County law, don't read this. The rest of y'all, go ahead.

Local criminal seeks hell to raise. Looking for new heists that haven't been done. As I understand it, the Hazzard Bank has been robbed at least a dozen times already. The General Lee has been stolen before. Armored cars have been knocked over right and left. It's all been done!

Other than making off with the entire contents of the Hazzard County Sheriff's Department booking room, I can't think of a @#%& thing. (Besides, carrying a desk out by yerself tends to slow down an escape.)

Listen ya'll, it's so quiet around here, I'm ready to resort to complete and total reform because there's nothin' left to do. GAH!!!

If you have ideas, go ahead and leave 'em here for me to ponder.

Disclaimer: In case you were the Hazzard County law and read this anyway....this is all purely hypothetical. Ya got nothin' on me. KHEE!

Sincerely,

Brian Coltrane

[countrygirl1986]

*goes up and reads after Brian leaves then leaves something under Diablo's wiper blade*

Gee Brian, why don't you steal Boss Hoggs Cadilac or something, i don't think that has been done yet. I know his house has been burgulerised already though otherwise i'd suggest that lol even though Lulu is ur cuz. I dunno, you could also steal dixie because i don't think that has been done yet either (i could be wrong). Or you could take Cooter's tow truck and start towing away cars and sticking them infront of real parking meters instead of having you're poor cousin drag the fake one out or the fake fire hydrant, but you'd need to get rid of Cooter and the Dukes, as in keep them occupied while you did the towing.

Oh, and another thing, you're right about things being dull, it's been driving me crazy! Please liven things up.

[Valerie Strate]

(Game Warden comes up to the bulletin board whistling. She reads the new notice.)

AH! Crickets and Crocs!

(Rips the paper off the board. Crumples it up and stomps on it. Then realizes it's evidence. Picks it off the ground.)

Eeewww! I think I had gum on my shoes.

(Folds it up and puts paper in pocket to show MaryAnne and Rosco.)

I can't believe he'd stoop so low.

(Game Warden then heads inside to the courthouse whistling again, like nothing happened.)

[MacGyver]

Hello Brian...
You need a new career? May I make a suggestion? You've done the bad guy thing, you've done the whole Michael Corleone THING...how about you grab some pretty little Hazzard lady and settle down? Get a nice farmhouse, some land, a big BARN and don't forget a PITCHFORK and a STRAW HAT. And what are you doing out of Atlanta?
Since I'm new around these parts I would like to know if any lovely Hazzard ladies be interested in a cruise to the Bahamas? I've got an extra ticket....

[Brian Coltrane]

(After strolling around the town square and studying the prospects for excitement - and not finding any - the black-clad figure walks back towards the bulliten board. En route, the note is found under Diablo's wiper blade.)

Hey, what's this? Looks like I got a re-ply to my post. Khee! Lessee heah. *reads note about tow-truck suggestion* Hmmm, that's somethin' fresh! Grand Theft Tow Truck. Heh heh. I'll keep that one on mind. *puts note inside of jacket pocket*

*leaves Diablo to walk up to bulliten board* Ah, hell. Can ya believe that? Some rotten hoodlum stole my notice off the board!

*takes another copy of notice from pocket, pins it up* I tell ya. People will take anythin' that ain't nailed down.

*looks over the board, finds a response posted* There's only one person I know who would use duct tape to post somethin' on a bulliten board. Must be from ol' MacGyver. *reads post, snorts at the content, and then writes a reply*

"To Fleetwood MacGyver: I haven't 'done' the bad guy thing. I AM a bad guy. Try and remember that, you toolshed tinker. What are you doing in Hazzard? Did you get fired from the Foundation for Law and Government? Whups, I forgot. They refused to hire ya! KHEEHAHAHA!!!"

Brian Coltrane

[DaneyDuke]

(post in editing)

[MacGyver]

Brian...
Sure you won't change your mind about that PITCH FORK? I can see you in a straw hat picking cotton. The whole bad guy, black leather jacket THING... doesn't that get awfully boring after a while?

M-

[Brian Coltrane]

(after reading Mac's response on the bulliten board, this reply is left, stuck into the board with a small knife. ka-THUNK!)

Mac, maybe YOU are lookin' to be a stunt double on Hee Haw, but I'm not gonna be an extra in Green Acres anytime soon. Ya dig?

As far as bein' a bad guy bein' boring....are you NUTS? I get chased by cops, rival criminals, good citizens, Feds, dogs, everything but the National Guard. (And it's early in the game yet.) Hell, I been shot, stabbed, beat up, nearly lynched, and I've been kicked, bit and mauled.

Hmm. I'm startin' to wonder WHY I ain't reformed altogher yet. But how could I leave all this behind? KHEE!

Now if ya really wanna impress me, you'd come up with some scheme I could pull off. Otherwise I'll be left to my own dee-vices.

And the rest of ya'll in Hazzard, don't tell me nobody has any other ideas! Don't tell me y'all are afraid of the law r' somethin'! I don't think MaryAnne even reads this board anymore. So c'mon, show your criminal ingenuity.

Brian

[MacGyver]

Brian...
Think that only BAD guys get hurt? I've been hurt worse than THAT and I'm not a bad guy...Just becuase you wear a black jacket don't make you KING. And since WHEN do bad guys shop for crimes in the yellow pages? I COULD come up with a crime to impress you but why should I? Why don't you use all that energy for something more USEFUL to give to Hazzard instead of a reign of terror... now.. do YOU dig?
Besides...who SAID I couldn't start my own crime spree? Maybe with some gorgeous, intelligent brunette woman at my side? She'd be treated like a queen!
Maybe what this town really needs is some NEW blood... Time to flush out the old and bring on the new. I know I'm enjoying the scenery so far so I JUST might settle here.

M-

[countrygirl1986]

*slips another note under diablo's wiper blade, hoping this owrks like the last time to prevent being caught*

Hey brian, here's another one for ya. Why don't you try stealing boss hoggs fridge while Miss LUlu is gone.

You could also impersonate a police officer... well, okay, rosco and MA would go nuts and gocrazy, and i know you'd never be able to live up to that, so i guess you can't do that one. YOu could loose your trademark black and inmpersonate boss... nah, you'd probably not like that... hmm... knock over the gun shop or hte knife shop? You could also go into boat stealing. or you could do some pit pocketing (stay the ehck out of my perse). why not try stealing everyones hats too?

[Brian Coltrane]

(After reading the last message from Mac, a reply is left as follows....)

Mac, give it up, man. You're not in my league. If you think I'm gonna quiety step aside so you can mosey in and take squatter's rights, yer mistaken. Better ( and worse) people than you have gone up against me and lost. It'll take more than your tricks with duct tape and tinfoil to remove one Brian Coltrane!

(the note is riddled with knife holes, which were stabbed liberally throughout for emphasis. ) "There. Dig THAT, Mac." (leaves knife imbedded at top of note.)

(Walks back to Diablo, and finds Hilery's note. Removes note from under wiper blade, reads suggestions...one of which are catching on...)

"Say now....impersonatin' a cop...." (folds note shut, thinks about it)

"Impersonatin' a cop has probably been done in Hazzard before...but hell, it ain't never been done by ME! And I happen to know somethin' about cops. KHEE! I think we may be on to somethin' here! Just imagine the possibilities!"

(checks own reflection in Diablo's side mirror - speaks to self in encouragement) "I'd look good in uniform, I think. Yes indeed!" (straightens up, and looks around town) "Now I just gotta get my hands on a uniform. And I know one place I'm NOT gonna get it from. But there's no need to raid Rosco's closet, when folks in this town are so dang trustin'..." (whistling happily, walks down the street, a plan already forming within the mischievous mind.)

[essyjane]

Hmmm, hard work comin' up with a new prank.

Being bad is fun.

I wish my character was bad sometimes but we need a good Tizdale. Then again...her sister could come to the great Hazzard County sometime and reap havic.

Keep being the bad guy, it's a dirty job but somebody's gotta do it.

[countrygirl1986]

*walks up to diablo and leaves another note*

Well you're gonna need a patrol car. I'm sure something can be arranged though. Either that or steal Rosco's patrol car or maryannes, but they'd notice immediately. Your best bet is to take a car from teh junk yard, get it painted white, and stick a gold sticker on it to make it look like a patrol car. Don't forget the gumballs. Things have been so dull i'm willing to help. Call on the CB if you need some help.

At this rate, no one will know you're getting these idea's from me LOL.

oh and another idea for ya: steal all the coffee makers out of the auto lots, or spray paint something saying what kind of junk the cars are onto the sign. Boss Hogg would just love that. Or you could even find a cat (stay away from mine unless you want the dogs t be hurt), and drivet hem nuts. ie rosco and maryannes dogs. it'd be commical that's for sure. You could even throw bags of flour at the sheriffs department and turn them ghost white, and throw mudd at Boss.

[StuntMan23]

(A not so strange stranger strolls up to the bulletinboard and reads the various messages that have been posted up, especially noting those left by a Brian Coltrane and held in place by a knife. The retorts back and forth between Coltrane and MacGyver were entertaining enough. He wondered however, what the local law thought of all this...)

(The stranger observes Brian admiring his reflection in the mirror of a black Chevy and gloating about impersonating a cop. The stranger has an idea and after finding a pen and piece of paper, leaves the following message...)


Brian,

Would like to help you in your quest to raise some hell. May not be of too much help in a caper with my old age here but, what the hell. May be able to help you get some of the...items...you seek. Leave a reply here.

C

[Valerie Strate]

Crickets and Crocs! Has Hazzard gone to heck in a hand basket! Why in heck does Mac wanna be here? (Yes, yes, Slow Burn I know) Essy wants to be bad and so does Hillery wants to give Brian bad ideas too!

Daney's asleep some where and MA hasn't been anywhere in sight along with Rosco! Something's missing!

*Troubled Game Warden stands on the steps scratching her head. Then she puts her green hat on.*

I don't like it. I just don't like it! Something is cooking and when I find MA or Daney I'm gonna let them know. Until then, I'm keeping my eyes pealed, and my CB set to Hazzard Law's channel.

*Turns around and heads back into the courthouse to feed Fang some mice.*

I wonder why Daney and MaryAnne aren't out on the move to stop Brian, or this Mac guy.

Val

[MacGyver]

Tisk Tisk TIsk...

Poor Brian...he just DOESN'T know when to leave town quietly... Face it Brian you're old NEWS! Been there... done THAT! And I don't do tricks with foil and duct tape, if you want tricks I suggest you go find a seal.
And as for squatter's rights...whats the matter? Afraid of losing something...or perhaps someone? A brunette someone?

Impersonating a cop huh? Oh yeah that's original considering there's only four cops IN Hazzard. *picks up phone and makes quick call to Rosco, informing him of Brian's plans.*

Oh just a quick question... Why do I NEED to be stopped Val? I didnt know it was illegal to settle in Hazzard.

M-

[Valerie Strate]

MacGyer,

It's not illegal. But you sure are stirring up trouble in peoples minds! I have my eyes on you as well. Believe me, if you and Brian start something... I'll make sure MA and Daney are there to finish it!

Val

PS Hilery and Essy, please don't egg people on to do bad things. Crime just doesn't pay. Go have fun by doing something good for the Community. Get involed in 4-H, helping the elderly, or help set up Hazzard's County fair.

[MacGyver]

Val...

Unless I'm a DEER you have no legal hold over me MISS GAME WARDEN. I'm not stirring up trouble, Brian is the one that started this with his post on the lookout for CRIME so why don't you go barking up his tree instead of sniffing around mine.


M-

[DaneyDuke]

(A long haired woman walked up to the bulletin board. Through sunglasses, hazel eyes read all the postings. Her right hand came up and touched her silver necklace. The slender brunette sighed and contemplated what to do. Her left hand took the knife that was impaled in a paper. Daney started to use the knife's tip to scratch her own message but changed her mind after a glance around. She pocketed Brian's weapon and walked away toward the Busy Bee Cafe.)

[essyjane]

hmmm *Rubs Chin*

I didn't say I was gonna be bad. Sometimes it's nice to be the bad character that's all. I am a good girl honest. I deliver the mail well, that's my duty. Besides, people say that I am too nice to be bad :wink:

[countrygirl1986]

*leaves note on diablo: Speaking of eggs... I got about six dozen sitting in the front seat of Jumper If ya is interested in egging some buildings. If not, I am.

*posts this on board: when does a person give idea's like that without willing to lend a helping hand? Y"all should have remembered i'm a trouble maker to a degree, just on a way lesser scale than brian.

[MaryAnne]

Meanwhile, inside the Hazzard County courthouse....

Rosco hung up the phone and looked at his cousin. "Guess what?" he said.

"We just won the lottery?" MaryAnne asked.

"Depends on what kinda jackpot yer lookin' for." He stepped away from the booking desk. "Just got a phone call, somebody sayin' that Brian's lookin' to impersonate a police officer."

"Really?" MaryAnne crossed her arms and looked toward the window. "Ya reckon that has anything do with all the activity out at the bulletin board?"

"I'm reckonin'. Let's go take a look."

The two law officers stepped out of the courthouse and looked at the postings on the Hazzard bulletin board.

"Look at all the stab marks...jeez... Hey," MaryAnne said, pointing to one signed by "C". "That hand writin' look familar to ya?"

"Yep..." Rosco grinned. "I knew he was comin', khee..."

"Ya did?" MaryAnne smiled and Rosco met her gaze. After a moment, the two cousins giggled. "Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?" she said.

"Way ahead of ya."

"Khee! I knew it...." MaryAnne pulled out her ticket book and pen and scribbled the following message:

To the town of Hazzard -

Rosco and I see what y'all are up to and remind you that there is law in these parts and disobedience and criminal mischeif will not be tolerated. You have been warned.

-MaryAnne


She posted it up on the board.

"Think they'll take that seriously?" Rosco asked.

MaryAnne snorted. "Of course not. But if we don't post something they'll wonder what we're up to...heh heh...c'mon, we got work to do..."

[Valerie Strate]

*Of course the Game Warden, a day late and a dollar short, comes running up to Rosco and MaryAnne with the crinkled bubble gum smeared note. She's catching her breath.*

"OH Crickets and Crocs! Thank God I found you two. Sheriff, MA, I think Brian is up to his old tricks. I found this on the bulletin board." The Game Warden replied handing them the sticky note.

"I'm sorry I took it off of the bulletin board but I was trying to discourage others from following Brian's examples. Unfortunately it didn't work. I'm sorry MA, Rosco." the Strate replied humbly.

[MacGyver]

The Black 1967 Chevy Impala sat parked against the curb beside the bulletin board. An approaching shadow walked by the open driver side window, casually dropping something into it. The person made a hasty exit as the bundle of dynamite with a digital clock on it started counting down from 10...

[MacGyver]

A brunette woman dressed reached into the open drivier's side window. There were 6 seconds left on the digital display as she pressed the package close to her and took off running around the back of the Courthouse.

The display reached zero and with it came a massive explosion -- plumes of thick black smoke climbed high into the sky, drifting over the top of the building...

[MaryAnne]

Rosco and MaryAnne looked over the note, MaryAnne holding it gingerly to avoid touching the gum. "It's awright, Val," MaryAnne said. "Brian wouldn't be Brian if he didn't try to instigate somethin'." She smiled at the Game Warden, the three of them oblivious to what had been left in Brian's car, which was not ten feet away from them. "Besides, me and Rosco have something in mind for Brian anyway..."

[countrygirl1986]

*meanwhle,

HIlery has retrieved her obediant only to her and who ever she says they are to listen to and only those people felines.

"Boot's, scooter, do me a favor. Drive the hazzard PD loco. I mean it. drive them mad by complaining for attention. DO ANYTHING YOU HAVE TO. jump on the table,get cat hair in their coffee, knock over stacks of paper. Just don't hurt them. Get in through the windows or hte doors. I know thye are push open and the windows are always open and never have screens. Run if they call the pound or try to catch you to put you out, but cause all the mayhem you can while running." The young davenport gets up and the cat's run off to complete their mission.

[DaneyDuke]

The display reached zero and with it came a massive explosion -- plumes of thick black smoke climbed high into the sky, drifting over the top of the building...

Daney leaned against the brick wall of the alley and out of breath. Her eyes burned. She was doubled over.. but it was worth it, saving Diablo. No one had been hurt, just a dumpster from the bomb.

"Ohhh," She muttered softly. Daney recognized the blond person who planted the bomb. Had anyone else?

She felt a tug on some of her long hair.

"You ok?" a familar, older male voice replied.

Daney smiled. "I'm tired, sir."

"I know," And with that he guided her back toward the street. He stopped for a moment and picked up two cats that were running toward the Courthouse. He held them as tenderly as he held Velvet Ears, but a tight enough grip that neither of Hilery's cats could scrim away. "You fellas shouldn't be near that building... Bandit and Flash will have you for doggy num nums." A smile brightened his face.

A few moments later, they joined MaryAnne.


(Now for a twist... From here to whenever, MaryAnne Coltrane will be writing my lines/scenes. I ask no one else do so, as MaryAnne is the only one I gave permission too. Thank you, Deputy!! Good luck and have fun.)

[Brian Coltrane]

The sound of the explosion made Brian jump. He looked in the direction of the blast and saw a volcano of trash spew into the air, followed by a billow of smoke.

"Sonofagun. Looks like MacGyver is puttin' a whole new twist on recyclin'! Maybe he's tryin' to impress Val with his enviro-mental side. Khee!"

Shrugging to himself, Brian resumed his walk to across town. He went into the Hazzard Dry Cleaners, phase one of his plan about to take place. He cleared his throat for the clerk's attention. "Scuze me, ma'am. I'm here to pick up the Hazzard County Sheriff's Department uniforms."

"Do you have a ticket?" The woman behind the counter asked.

"Sure do! Several of 'em. Speedin', illegal parkin'....."

"No, I mean for the dry cleaning."

Brian rummaged around in his jacket pockets, pretending to look for the dry cleaning ticket. "Uh...hell, I must have lost it! Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane gave me the money, tho'. See?" *flashes a couple of twenty dollar bills* "Ol' Rosco is gonna be mighty sore at me if I don't get those uniforms to him!"

"I suppose it's no crime to lose a dry cleaning ticket. Let's keep the Sheriff happy," the woman said. She handed over three uniforms on hangers covered in clear plastic, and accepted the money from Brian.

"Thank ya, ma'am!" This much accomplished, Brian hustled from the dry cleaners. He paused to take off his black jacket and hang it over the top of the uniforms. No one would be the wiser; the uniform pants were black, after all, and with his jacket hiding the blue shirts, he appeared to be carrying his own laundry to Diablo's trunk.

Reaching the black Chevy, Brian tossed two of the uniforms into the trunk and kept the third one out for immediate use. It appeared to belong to Enos by the looks of the shirt size. "Heh. I'm about to be an instant dipstick." Brian kept his jacket over the uniform and scuttled to an alley to change clothes.

The uniform wasn't a perfect fit; it was a little tight but close enough. By leaving the shirt collar open, Brian found the outfit serviceable. It felt odd, though, to see his arms covered in blue material instead of the familiar black sleeves of his jacket. He had just finished tucking in the shirt when a hiss greeted him from the end of the alley.

He turned to find one of Hilary's cats eyeing him with an evil stare. It fuzzed up and began to pad towards him.

"Gah…nice kitty…go find Val! She's got mice!" The cat ignored Brian's suggestion and broke into a run, zeroing in on the Hazzard police uniform.

"Oh no ya don't. You're not getting cat hair all over this uniform - I've only had it on for two minutes! How do you varmints sense clean clothes like this?"

Brian scooped up his discarded black clothes and ran to the opposite end of the alley. He didn't see Hilery's other cat until the ornery beast darted out in front of his feet and he tripped over it, performing an unintended flying somersault into a few trash cans, scattering them loudly with his full-body impact. The noise sent the cats skittering away, their mission accomplished.

Slowly, Brian got up, kicked the tipped-over garbage cans aside, and took a deep breath. "@#%&! This is gonna be a rough gig. No wonder Rosco n' MaryAnne are constantly goin' through uniforms…"

Fortunately, his borrowed uniform wasn't in too bad of shape. Brian brushed the dirt off of it, re-gathered his own clothing, and walked back to Diablo. He put his clothes in the car, and strolled over to the bulletin board. He frowned at MacGyver's note, knowing that sooner or later the town wouldn't be big enough for the both of them. Meanwhile, there was this stranger, offering to help pull off the hell-raising.

It could be a trap…but the help was welcome. Brian left a reply:

C,

I could use fashion accessories, if you dig. I got the main threads but need the jewelry, the belt, and the squawk box. Could obtain on my own but would risk getting skinned alive. You got an easier option?

Thanks, man.

B.

Brian then scanned the notes from Essy, Val, and Hilery. He left a note for the three of them.

Hey y'all -

If any of you can get your hands on a clunker Plymouth Fury, let me know. A white one would be a plus. Thank ya,

Brian

Finally, his eyes caught the warning posted by MaryAnne. Grinning, Brian scratched out a few of the words and changed the meaning, effectively making the note read:


To the town of Hazzard -

Rosco and I remind you that there is disobedience and criminal mischief.

-MaryAnne

"KHEEHAHA!!" Grinning, Brian left the bulletin board to take another stroll around town. It was time to get a taste of life in uniform.

[countrygirl1986]

NOw if anyone is wondering why Scooter, the black cat, and boots, the red and white cat weren't with rosco anymore, Hilery had sprung them, but had told them to complete their mission. She had watched them attack Brian and felt awful. He was the one they were supposed to be covering, not attacking.

"SHould have been more specific," she muttered as the felines came back to her. "Guys, GO attack the REAL sheriffs department and don't get caught again!" she told them as they scurried off. Looking around, hilery went back to the board and posted another message for brian.

Brian

Got the spare, and it's done early, by 3 days. Part came in early. You can pick it up when ya ready.

Hilery

PS. Sorry bout the cats. though, you should have left your jacket on until maryanne and Rosco went out on patrol. MIght have saved yourself from crashign into the cans. tell cooter that Rosco and MA asked you to pick it up, or if need be, i'll deliver it if he get's suspicious.

[MaryAnne]

"You okay, Daney?" MaryAnne asked. The Duke woman nodded. "What the heck happened?"

"Somebody put a bomb in Brian's car," Daney replied. "I took it out and threw it into the dumpster."

"You coulda been blown up with it!" Rosco exclaimed.

"So could you two, with Val! Y'all weren't even ten feet away from Diablo."

"Well look, we're all here and we're all okay. Let's not debate who coulda been blown to smithereens." MaryAnne looked at Daney. "Did you see who put it in Brian's car?"

Daney nodded.

"Do you know who it is?"

Daney nodded again. "I'm pretty sure."

"Good. I'd like to have a talk with this person, tryin' to blow up Diablo and ruinin' my plan. Sheesh!" MaryAnne grinned.

"What is your plan?" Daney asked.

"Can't tell ya," Rosco said. "Khee! Top secret."

"Uh oh," Daney smiled. "This oughta be a doozy..."

"KHEE!"

A little later, after Rosco released Boots and Scooter and they went running after Brian, MaryAnne went over to the dry cleaners to pick up the uniforms...

"What do you mean somebody else picked 'em up?? I've got the ticket." MaryAnne held the ticket up.

"I'm sorry, MaryAnne, but he said Rosco sent him over. He paid the bill."

"Who paid it?"

"I'm not sure...he was wearing black, he had dark hair, dark eyes--"

"Nevermind, I know who it is." MaryAnne tossed the ticket on the counter and walked out of the dry cleaning shop. "Of all the things he's ever paid for in his life, he pays the Sheriff's dry cleaning bill. Sheesh!" She headed back towards the courthouse and the bulletin board where Rosco was already standing. But he was looking toward the square.

"Whatchya lookin' at?"

"A dipstick deputy."

"Rosco, I told you not to call me that--"

"Not you." He pointed. "Him."

MaryAnne looked. Across the square, a deputy Sheriff of Hazzard County was sasshaying around. She snorted. "I was gonna tell ya that somebody picked up our dry cleaning for us...guess you already know."

"He picked it up?"

"Yep. Paid for it too. Of all the things..." MaryAnne watched Brian across the square. "He looks a little outta place. No gunbelt, no accessories..."

"He'll have 'em soon enough."

MaryAnne looked at Rosco and he pointed at the board. She read the messages Brian had left.

"Ohhh...heh heh. I see he altered my message, tsk. He's lookin' for a Fury too. Shoot heck, he don't neccessarily need a Fury to be a cop."

"Nope."

"But it's gotta be white."

"Yup. Khee!"

MaryAnne grinned. "Before we do that, let's put Diablo in the impound garage. I don't want somebody tryin' to blow it up again."

Rosco nodded. A few moments later the two officers were pushing the black Impala towards the backside of the courthouse and the impound garage. The car was put under lock and key.

"There. He'll thank us in the end," MaryAnne said.

"No, he won't," Rosco replied.

"Well..." MaryAnne smiled. "In his own way, he will. Khee!"

[StuntMan23]

The stuntman stranger found Brian's message a little while later. He grinned and wrote a reply:

Brian,

No problem on getting the accessories. I can have them for you before the afternoon is out. I'm driving a cream colored Pontiac Grand Prix. It's a rental car. You can't miss it. You might have to give me a ticket...heh...


C.

The stuntman grinned and posted his message. Who said Hazzard wasn't fun?

[MacGyver]

The newly disguised Coltrane walked down the sidewalk, he had just passed the Hazzard Emporium when a dark figure reached out and grabbed him, pulling him in the alley beside the building. He was thrown up against the brick wall and a handkerchief soaked with chloroform was pressed against his nose and mouth.

"Hello Brian...ready to have some FUN?"

A voice hissed in Brian's ear as blackness enveloped him.

[Brian Coltrane]

"MMMRPGH!!@#%&*..." Brian attempted to struggle, but the chemical vapor weaked him, sending him swiftly towards oblivion. The taunting voice in his ear was one he recognized.

As conciousness faded, Brian felt a cold, numbing shock at the realization that MacGyver would go this far....

[MacGyver]

The figure dragged the unconscious Coltrane to a more isolated location, laying him down on a filthy old bed and handcuffing his hands behind him. A chain was hooked to the cuffs and attached to the footrail. A bandana was pulled from his backpocket and used a gag.

"There... all SECURE! Time to call in some reinforcements."

A black cell phone was taken out of a jacket pocket and a number was dialed...

[Brian Coltrane]

Groggily, Brian blinked his eyes and oriented himself to the dingy surroundings. A few problems registered to his mind immediately: First and foremost, he was still dressed a cop and had been captured by his enemy. Secondly, a gag prevented him from swearing about it.

Worst of all, he was laying on his back, hands cuffed behind him - and when he tugged, he found that a chain connected the handcuffs to the footrail of the bed. He could not pull himself up to a sitting position.

Brian's dark eyes watched Mac near the foot of the bed. His captor was making a phone call...and Brian had the feeling if that call was completed, it was all over.

Thinking fast, Brian tested the chain by moving his arms down his back slightly, rather than up...and found that the chain went slack. Awright, it was better than nothing...

Before Mac realized what the scheme was, Brian manuvered himself lower on his back, drawing his legs up and bucking his way down the center of the bed, gaining more slack in the chain the closer he got to the footrail. With a desperate, kicking lunge, he hurled himself over the footrail, having enough slack to now stand upright, though he remained effectively chained to the bed.

But so what. With a vicious kick of one black boot, Brian sent the cell phone flying from Mac's hand. A second kick to Mac's knee sent the man to the floor...

...though this was temporary and probably futile, and Brian knew it. He lunged forward, pulling hard against the chain, like a draft horse against an impossible weight, hoping for the preverbial weak link to break in the chain...and give him a slight chance at escape.

[MacGyver]

"Stupid Son of a--!" Mac got up from the floor, he grabbed the chain that held the captive man to the bed and jerked it back, sending Brian flying backwards onto the floor. He stuck his hiking boot down onto his neck and pressed it there, not hard but enough to keep Brian's dark eyes focused on his kidnapper's face.
"Another STUNT like that again and they'll never find your body!"
Mac grabbed the chain and dragged Brian back to the bed and shoved him face down onto it. He pressed a knee against his back as he removed the chain and replaced it with another cuff that was attached to the ones around his wrists.
"That should hold you now." Mac got up and picked up the phone that had slid across the grungy floor.
"Think by doing that you were going to stop the call? No, I don't think so." He closd the phone and pocketed it.
"Help should be arriving within the hour."

A short time later Mac opened the door and to Brian's surprise a beautiful red haired woman, dressed in a short jean skirt and a pink tank top came into the room. She smiled as she pulled the blond man into her arms for a deep lingering kiss.
"So that's him huh?"
Mac's dark eyes narrowed as he took the young woman by the hand and went over to the bed, jerking the bandana out of Brian's mouth.
"Brian Coltrane this is Gillian MacKenzie...my reinforcements."
"Charmed I'm sure." Gillian slid her arm around MacGyver'a waist.
"Standard SOP?"
"Yeah, leave this on the bulletin board in town." He handed her a folded up paper that she stuck in her pocket.
"I'm on it." Gillian put her sunglasses back on as she walked out the door.

[Brian Coltrane]

Freed of the gag, Brian took the opportunity to ask his captor a burning question. "Awright, so what the hell constitutes "Standard Operatin' Prodcedure" when you got reinforcements that look like THAT?"

[MacGyver]

MacGyver's chocolate eyes narrowed as he leaned a little closer to his prisoner.

"Don't be fooled Brian, she'd kill you without even blinking an eye. She's as deadly as she is beautiful, like an oleander flower." A cold grin lit up his face.
"But she's my partner, and we're the deadliest duo you're ever going to meet. Makes those Syndicate men look like choir boys." He stuffed the gag back in Brian's mouth.
"You just keep your mind on your situation and off of Gillian."

[Brian Coltrane]

Brian's reactions to Mac's comments were muffled by the gag, but the sentiment came through nonetheless....

"@#$%&*!!#@%$&%*!!!"

[MacGyver]

Gillian walked down the sidewalk, her dark eyes taking in everything. Her assassin instincts were on high alert as she made her way passed the Courthouse, heading for the bulletin board.

She slipped her glasses down low on her nose as she pulled the paper from her pocket and stuck a pin through it; turning away from the board. The note read...

Brian Coltrane is my guest.... if any of you want to see him alive then don't bother to look for him. I see one COP, one PATROL CAR or even one SUSPICIOUS person looking around Hazzard, the only thing you'll find of Brian is his bones.


Gillian headed back up the sidewalk and passed the Courthouse, seeing a brunette woman in a black tank top and jeans staring at her. She ignored her, moving up the sidewalk slowly. As she passed a large white house she heard the sounds of footsteps behind her.

Picking up the pace on her walking, Gillian crossed the street ducking behind a building. She watched as the brunette woman stepped to the edge of the curb, pulling off her sunglasses as she looked around.
Quick as a rattlesnake Gillian snagged the young woman around her neck and muffled her scream of surprise.

"You're following the wrong woman and now you have a problem. Make one sound and I'll snap your neck, got it?"

Daney nodded. Years of being a P.I. made her keep any emotion from her face but her pulse went racing. She took a deep breath and took a step forward as the woman gave her a nudge.

A short time later Gillian shoved Daney through the door as Mac stood up.
"What happened?" He saw the scowling face of his partner.
"Little Miss Nosey here started following me."
MacGyver nodded as he walked up to the brunette, looking her up and down.
"Thought you'd be a hero huh?" He grabbed her by the wrist and spun her around, slapping cuffs on her and giving her a shove. She ended up face down on the bed beside Brian and turned around, her back against the headboard.
"It doesn't matter, our Boss doesn't care who else gets taken along with Brian."
Gillian crossed her arms over her chest. "She's a complication we don't need."
Mac shrugged. "Don't worry about it, if all else fails she's an insurance policy." He walked around the bed and stood beside it, glaring down at the young woman.
"And your name is?"
"It's Daney," Daney replied politely. She looked over at Brian with deep concern in her hazel eyes, then stared back at the man and woman. "What do you want with us?"

Mac bent at the waist, moving closer to her. "This isn't a question and answer session Daney. The important thing is you're here and for now that's all you need to know." He straightened back up and motioned to her with his chin.
"Find something to gag her with, I've got to make a call."
Gillian nodded as she pulled a handkerchief out of her pocket and tied it around Daney's head.

[MaryAnne]

MaryAnne had seen the red headed woman leave a message on the bulletin board. After the woman left, MaryAnne walked up to see what it said.

"Oh Lord..." She sighed. "Dagnabbit!" She ran into the courthouse.

"Rosco, we may be in trouble."

Rosco looked down from the booking desk. "When are we NOT in trouble?" he deadpanned.

"Somebody kidnapped Brian. They left a message on the board. If they see a cop or anybody suspicious trying to look for them all we're gonna find of him is bones."

"Jit! We are definetly in trouble! Any idea who depu-nabbed him?"

"I can hazard a guess."

"So can I. Big Mac?"

MaryAnne nodded. "With a side of fries. "

"Jit!"

[Brian Coltrane]

While MaryAnne and Rosco digested the news of their cousin's capture, Brian's own thoughts were settling in his gut like stale bread, weighing down his spirit.

**I'm chained down to a bed, I'm in a cop uniform, I got no weapons, my car is parked out on the town square with my regular clothes in it...Lord knows what anybody will think upon findin' THAT. I'm bein' held by MacGyver and his homicidal girlfriend, and now Daney's been dragged into this...**

Brian sighed and shut his eyes a moment, not knowing what could come next and afraid to speculate on it. One minute, he had been out to raise a little hell, and the next thing he knew, he was having hell raised upon him. Was it the uniform? **Did I invoke some kinda curse on myself wearin' this thing?? Gah!**

Whatever came next, there was nothing much he could do, other than to stare hatefully at Mac, and chance the occassional wink at Gillian whenever he caught the woman's eye. These amusements were unfullfilling, however, in light of the fact that his taunts to MacGyver had somehow resulted in this unfortunate fate. **At least the sonofa# didn't mummify me in duct tape...**

Finally, Brian turned his head and looked at Daney. He didn't know how she got caught up in this, but he couldn't stand the idea of her getting hurt. He also feared for Rosco and MaryAnne...and come what may for himself, if the people he cared about remained safe, he'd call it an even trade.

His dark eyes met Daney's, and he blinked once, slowly, communicating without words.

[StuntMan23]

The stuntman had been sitting in his Grand Prix waiting for Brian when he witnessed Daney's kidnapping. He watched the red headed woman escort Daney across the square and when they disappeared he jumped out of his car and made a beeline for the courthouse.

To see him burst through the booking room doors, one would think they were seeing double. Although he wore jeans, a plaid shirt and jean jacket, his black stetson made him look pretty darn similar to the Sheriff that sat at the booking desk. And one Rosco P. Coltrane for Hazzard County was enough...but two?

MaryAnne turned around. "Cully!"

"Jit!" Rosco exclaimed. "What the heck are you doing here?"

Cully Dawson feigned offense. "You invited me, cousin, remember?"

"I don't mean that, I mean what are you doing HERE."

"I think we got some kinda trouble."

"Yeah, see?" MaryAnne looked at Rosco. "He picks up on that kinda stuff too."

"Well he's got enough Coltrane in 'em..." Rosco said.

"Listen, I just saw this red headed lady kidnap some other girl!"

"Really??" MaryAnne said. "Man, it must be open season..."

"Whatya mean?"

"Somebody kidnapped Brian," Rosco said. "They left a note on the board."

"That explains why I haven't seen him for him to pick up his accessories," Cully said.

"Come to think of it," MaryAnne said. "It was a red head that I saw at the bulletin board." She looked at Cully. "Did you see which way they went?"

"I can give ya a general idea."

[DaneyDuke]

Mac and Gillian were in deep hushed conversation with their backs to their prisoners...

Daney lips were in a smile under the gag from Brian’s unspoken words. She saw how nervous Brian was in this position and did the only thing she could to give him a little piece of mind and comfort. She scooted over enough and rubbed noses with him, it was the Indian sign for affection/friendship. She took a peek at Gillian and Mac again, then decided to risk the idea that had been in her brain since the handcuffs had been placed on her.

30 seconds later, Daney had the cuffs off thanks to a bobby pin from her hair. She took the gag off and smiled at Brian. Then she slid off the bed and crept over behind the couple. She took her belt off and snaked it around Gillian's neck, while her right leg came up and kicked Mac in the head. She kept the grip on the belt tight enough that Gillian could not get away. She moved around until her back was against the window, Gillian was a shield and if Mac tried to get her, he'd sent both of them through the glass. The blonde man groaned as he lay dazed on the floor.

Daney looked over at Brian and winked. She adored him, he was a great friend. He seemed a little more comfortable now. She turned a fiery stare to Mac. "Though you were dealin' with just some country hick? I don't think so! I happen to be a P.I., and been in way more difficult spots than what you just did." Daney paused and cleared her throat. "Here in Hazzard, we got something called Southern Justice." Daney grinned seeing some friendly faces in the window behind Mac. "Don't move Mac and cheese or I'll take your wife here to the flip side." Daney fibbed, she would never hurt someone on purpose.

[MacGyver]

Mac looked up at the brunette woman, a smile coming to his face as he sat partially up.
"Very good Daney... I commend you. But if you think for one MINUTE I'd be DUMB enough to let you do this, you're crazy."
He glanced at Gillian, seeing her red face as her fingers touched the belt around her throat, trying to pry it away enough to breathe a little easier.
"Sorry Gillian."
She tried to speak but Daney only jerked the belt harder against her throat, causing her to grit her teeth.
MacGyver raised his hand and quickly stuck it in his jacket, pulling his Beretta out and cocking it, aiming it at Brian.
"Now...you let her go or Brian gets it."
MacGyver stared at her, his brown eyes narrowed and deadly serious.

[Brian Coltrane]

"DANEY! Don't listen to him! Get outta here while you've got the chance!!"

[DaneyDuke]

Daney bit her lip and looked over at Brian apologetically. She didn't want to leave him. She should’ve gotten him loose first. Now it was too late... Please forgive me, Brian.

A smile came over her lips remembering a friend’s advice. She was going to have to take another risk... sixth sense told her that Mac was a soulless creep with no mercy. But his vice was the woman, who Daney had ahold of. She could tell by how the couple had interacted. “No Mac, I don’t think so.” She kept a firm grip on the belt and moved toward the door with Gillian, her back stayed against the wall and her hazel eyes focused on Mac and Brian. She made a quick reach for the door handle and opened it...

“If anything happens to Brian... you’ll never see Gillian again, Mac.” Daney promised and before she could hear his reply, disappeared outside with the red haired woman.

[MacGyver]

MacGyver watched her leave and nodded.
"Okay Brian... if thats the way she wants to play."
He got up from the floor and went over to the bed, pressing the barrel of the black gun between Brian's eyes. He leaned down close, two pairs of deep brown eyes focusing on one another.
"What do you think Brian?" Mac traced the barrel slowly across his sweating brow, tracing it over his cheekbones.
"I think you're little girlfriend is full of it... I don't think she's got the GUTS to kill Gillian. But I DO know that the minute Gillian gets her CHANCE Daney is a dead woman."
He jerked the gag out of Brian's mouth, the captured man coughing slightly, licking his lips.
"So... give me a reason not to blow you away right NOW?"

[Brian Coltrane]

Brian took in a few shallow breaths before answering. "Listen, Mac. I know what you're thinkin'. You're figurin' you should shoot me and then go get Gillian outta Daney's hands. You're just waitin' until Daney's farther away, and maybe she won't hear it. 'Specially if you put a pillow over my face and muffle the shot."

Taking a dry swallow, Brian continued. "Maybe Gillian could get the upper hand on Daney. Maybe not. Thing is, you kill me here, and you lose a chess piece, Mac. And if I heard ya right....you mentioned havin' a boss of some kind. This is a payin' job for you, ain't it?"

Brian gathered his resolve, and his dark eyes looked back at his captor with a bitter understanding. "You're just wonderin' if it's worth keepin' the job right now. And if my beggin' for mercy makes any damn difference....then let me swallow my pride and say one thing....."

"@#$%&*$#%@#*!!!$&*#$@#*!!!"

A grim smile appeared on Brian's face after the outburst. The dice were about to be cast. The lingering regret was if the roll came up snake eyes...he was about to die in a police uniform, ironic indignity that it was.

[MacGyver]

MacGyver leaned closer to Brian, until they were practically breathing in each other's air. His eyes having all the sympathy and understanding of a great white shark as it stared down its current meal.
"You're right I DO have bosses, and they paid me to get rid of you but not in the way you're thinking. I was perfectly willing to do that, money IS money after all. But now the rules have CHANGED. Daney thinks she has the upper hand, but she crossed me and that was a mistake." His gaze shifted towards the window briefly.
"Whoever it is outside that window won't make a move, they won't risk your life. And I have every confidence that Gillian WILL get free and break Daney's neck. But even if she doesn't and Daney DOES kill her, it doesn't matter. I can always find a new partner. Gillian is expendable, and so are you."

The last words were a hiss and MacGyver raised his knee, catching Brian in the stomach. He hunched over a little but Mac quickly grabbed him by his dark hair and jerked his head up. Brian squeezed his eyes shut and cried out in pain, the sound quickly muffled by the thick barrel of the gun.

Outside the small isolated cabin, the sound of a gunshot rang out, sending flocks of birds in a panic flight from the trees....

[DaneyDuke]

(co authored with Mac)

"Oh Lord," Daisy muttered watching Daney and Gillian stop in mid fight about twenty five feet from the cabin, just on the edge of the woods. Her cousin and the red head had been fighting since Bo and Luke standing at the window whistled at Daney when she came out of the cabin with the woman.

Their eyes widening, masks of horror etched on their faces at the gunshot and birds flying everywhere. Bo and Luke were close to the pit of mud, holding ready bows... in case MacGyver's assistant tried to escape.

Daney turned to Gillian covered in mud from head to toe. She glared at her.

Gillian stood up, wiping her hand across her face and flinging the mud onto the ground. "Never should have crossed him Daney, now look what he's done because of it."

"This isn't my fault!" Daney shoved the red haired woman hard to the ground for the third time in two minutes. She watched Gillian’s eyes go shut like she was taking a nap.

Daisy, Bo and Luke came closer. Daisy began to hog tie Gillian up with help from Luke.

With tears in her eyes, Daney wrenched the bow from her blond cousin's hands with a half hearted growl.

She turned and ran to back to the cabin, not caring if she looked like a swamp monster or not. Daney stopped in the door way with the bow raised and ready to shoot....

With a hard kick, the cabin door was opened and the sight that met her eyes was MacGyver. He was lying in the bed with his arms tucked under his head.
"Hi Daney, welcome back."

He sat up slowly seeing her grab the bow string and pull it taut, the black arrow point poised to shoot him in the chest. "I see…nice bow."

The weapon dropped from her hands to the floor. Her heart sunk, not seeing Brian. A cold shiver went up her spine. "You bas----," She hissed at the blond man and picked the weapon up...

"I am indeed, and you only now figured that out?" He turned in his side and touched the mattress, raising his hand. The tip of his fingers were bloody.

"Wondering where Brian is? Well I'm wondering where Gillian is." He rubbed his fingers together.

“She’s safe,” Daney let go of the string....

and then threw the bow at the wall. Mac’s eyes didn’t dart away as the tip of the arrow imbedded itself just above his blond head of hair.

“Where is Brian?” She tried to sound brave even through she was heartbroken and felt like she was going to throw up.

"Around." MacGyver got up from the bed and pulled the arrow from the wall. "If Gillian is in the hands of your cousins, then all you've done is sealed Brian's fate."

“What are you talking about?” Daney inquired as Mac walked toward her.

"Gillian belongs to me and I want her. Have those two cousins of yours bring her back." MacGyver circled around her slowly as he spoke, his eyes never leaving her.

"Tell me where Brian is, you son ----," Daney grabbed Mac's throat with one hand and a handful of his hair with the other hand.

Mac rolled his eyes as he grabbed Daney's wrists and pulled her hands off of him. He threw her down on the bed and straddled her waist, pinning her with his weight.

"I've got all the power Daney and you know it. Your life and Brian's hangs in the balance. Give Gillian to me and you just might survive this." He leaned close to her dark hair and nosed it gently as he whispered in her ear.

Daney shivered, wondering what he was going to do next. She glanced over to see Bo, Luke, and Daisy with Gillian in the open doorway. Her female cousin had the bow ready to shoot an arrow in Mac’s backside. Her oldest and youngest male cousins had a tight grip on the red haired woman’s arms. Gillian was tied at her hands and ankles.

“She’s right behind you,” Daney paused. “Gillian wasn’t harmed, where is Brian... Mac, please.” She pleaded with the blond man.

Mac's eyes narrowed as he climbed off the bed, pulling Daney up. His grip around her waist firm as he pressed her back to his chest.

"I don't think so, lower it or you'll never know." He focused his stare at Daisy. "I still have the gun. Daisy, you know I'll use it. Do you really want to see it go down like this? You shoot, I shoot and things getting bloody... Lower the bow and I'll show you Brian."


Daisy saw how pale her younger cousin was underneath the mud that was still smeared on Daney's face. She was scared something had happened to her friend, the boys and her were too. The older Duke woman lowered the bow and removed the arrow without taking her eyes off Mac and her cousin.

Mac kept a firm hold of Daney as he motioned to a small closet on the other side of the little room. "Daisy, open that door."

Daisy looked at Bo and Luke who nodded, then she walked over to the door. Hesitantly, she obeyed the man's order. A small gasp came back from her mouth seeing Brian in a police uniform, the collar stained with crimson. His arms behind his back, like he was cuffed. It was eerie... but he appeared ok from the dark eyes that stared at her. She smiled at him and turned back to rest of the room.

MacGyver lifted his head. "You got what you wanted; now give me what I want." He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a small key, tossing it at Bo, who caught it.
"Untie Gillian and we'll trade women."

"What are you gonna do after that?" Luke asked suspiciously.

Mac's gaze flicked to Gillian, who gave a small nod of agreement to him.
"Walk away…"

Bo and Luke looked from Daney over to Brian... then at Mac, before untying Gillian as quickly as they could.

"Who hired you?" Daisy asked.

"No, that information stays with us. It's what's going to keep us alive for not completing the job." MacGyver looked at Brian. "Watch your back Brian, someone wants you out of the way."

The boys let go of Gillian and smiled at her. Then they walked over to the closet. A minute later... Daisy, Bo, Luke and an uncuffed Brian stood waiting for Mac to hold up his end of the deal.

Mac let go of Daney and the two women passed one another.
Gillian hugged Mac around the waist. "We better go."

"Yeah."

They said nothing more; simply walked across the room passing the group of people cautiously. They never looked back as they disappeared into the forest.

Bo, Luke and Daisy went outside as their cousin began to fuss over Brian to make sure he was really ok. They couldn't help but grin watching through the window until Daney and Brian came out of the cabin a few seconds later.

[MaryAnne]

"If I ever get my hands on that two bit gun maul...." MaryAnne muttered as Maverick tore up dirt and grass, heading in the direction of the cabin. "And the chick. Just for good measure." She and her two passengers had heard the gun shot as well and the Firebird was beating a path to the source of the sound.

"I hope we're not too late," Rosco said.

"If we are, everybody better run for the hills. Because I'm gonna go ballistic!"

"I dunno if I wanna see that," Cully said.

"You don't," Rosco replied.

"Figured."

MaryAnne was beyond fuming. First, the rest of the Coltranes were a day late and dollar short in regards to Brian being kidnapped. Things just moved too fast. Now, finally getting themselves in gear, they were probably too late. And Brian probably wondered where the hell they were and possibly passed on thinking they weren't gonna try to save him.

"&#@!%$!!" MaryAnne spat.

"I'll second that," Cully said.

"What if that gun maul is still around?" Rosco wondered.

"Good!!" MaryAnne said. "We can have target practice and a bar-b-que!"

"Jit..."

Cully refrained from comment.

[Brian Coltrane]

Brian walked out from the cabin with Daney beside him. He didn't speak as his dark eyes looked to the woods, the freshly-matted grass showing the evasive path that Mac and Gillian had taken.

In the distance, the roar of Maverick's engine could be heard. The Firebird would be here in mere moments; and from the speed it was approaching, it sounded as if the camshaft was going to drill it's way through the motor block. MaryAnne wasn't sparing the horses in getting here.

Though it would have been a few minutes too late to save him. Brian focused on the woods again, and reached up a hand to touch the side of his neck where Mac's bullet had grazed him. The blood was drying, but the surface wound stung like hell. However, it beat the alternative.

What had passed between captor and captive at that last second was something Brian could not explain. Mac had yanked his hair back and stuck a gun in his mouth, and in that single heartbeat there was no time for prayer...Brian remembered opening his eyes and looking into the face of his killer...their eyes locked, holding the exchange of life and death....

And then Mac had suddenly yanked the gun from Brian's mouth and turned it aside, the trigger pulled nearly the same moment. The shot was deafining...and the rest, Brian couldn't recall. Shock had numbed him, whether from the suprise at being alive, or from the singe of the bullet over his skin, he didn't know which. It wasn't until he heard Daney's voice that he felt focus returning to him, and with it, hope.

And now, standing outside and feeling the blood pounding through his heart, and hearing Maverick's steady roar coming nearer, Brian was tempted to hunt Mac down. If MaryAnne brought Bandit with her, they could do it quickly. The dog could sniff Mac and Gillian out; A Hazzard posse could surround those woods; the Dukes, after all, had hunted everything in this county...justice could yet be served. The name of Mac's employer could yet be drawn from him...via official cop inquiry or Brian's own methods, it didn't matter...

But the decision of pursuit would be the law's, not his. The kidnapping of a bad guy impersonating an officer was probably still a crime, but the paperwork would be hell. The thought put a wry smile on Brian's face.

He put an arm around Daney's waist, giving her sideways hug. Yeah, he was alive, dammit, and it felt good to be breathing. He turned his gaze towards the road and waited for MaryAnne. The day was far from over...

[MaryAnne]

A few moments later the blue Firebird came into view of the cabin. The car kicked up dust on the narrow dirt drive and then came to a quick, sliding stop, surrounding it in a cloud of dust. The two doors popped open and Rosco and MaryAnne jumped out. Cully stayed in the car with Bandit.

It wasn't too hard to spot the only other person in the crowd wearing a Hazzard County deputies uniform. "Brian! Are you awright??" MaryAnne came up to her cousin, taking him by the arm and looking at him. Althought both he and Daney beside him grinned at her, she couldn't help but look at him with concern, relief, and with apology for that fact that she and Rosco couldn't get here sooner.

[Brian Coltrane]

Brian's answer was to give MaryAnne a hug, reassuring her. He knew the thoughts that were running through her head; he could see it in her expression. "I'm awright, cousin," he said quietly, though his shoulders shuddered at the recent memories.

They remained silent for a moment, kin reunited. Coltrane luck had held...barely...and Brian murmured this as he released her. He put a hand on her shoulder and guided her a few steps away, to talk in private.

"I'll explain the uniform later," he said to her. "Right now, the biggest thing you gotta know is that there's a pair of assassins makin' a break for it through those woods. I don't know who hired 'em or why....but you've figured out the target." A brief grin of bravado lit Brian's face. "Anyhow, I figure they've quit the assignment. We could still catch 'em, but we'll risk a few of our own folk in doin' it."

Brian looked into MaryAnne's eyes and saw the twin flames of blue fire within them. The burn for justice was bright in them...and perhaps for something more...

...and though the law wouldn't officially call it revenge, Brian would recognize it just the same. He knew MaryAnne saw the blood drying on his skin, knew she had felt the echo of fear in him...and knew, on some level, she had heard the gunshot and thought the worst.

"It's your call, cousin," he told her. He would stand by her decision. For MaryAnne was the law, and she was not to be crossed lightly...

But more, she was kin, and he was damn glad of it.

[Valerie Strate]

The morning seemed chaotic for the most part. The Game Warden knew trouble was on the horizon but as usual oblivious to the real danger. Something was nagging at her, about doing her woods patrol early. So she took off to the woods shortly after giving MaryAnne the note she found on the bulletin board. Then after seeing the notes left on the board again when she left, she figured she better do woods patrol now. Because in Hazzard you never know what you’re going to stubble upon.

Normal duties required her to check hunting cabins, see if there were any stray poachers, and making sure trappers were tending to their traps daily as law required. As she was traveling around the backwoods of Hazzard on foot, she heard someone rustling in the brush then what sounded like a human out cry.

She came closer to the area to be surprise by a blond man with a mullet hair cut with both his feet caught in a steel jaw traps. Not far from him was a red headed woman hanging upside down from a rope snare that had her hanging from a tree. It seems that Mac and Gillian had gotten themselves into a As she was about to approach the caught pair Enos and Cletus joined her.

“Val! It’s good to see ya sis. You’re just in time to help us round up these criminals!” Enos smiled at his sister.

She grinned as Enos and Cletus hand cuffed the blond with the mullet haircut and read the Miranda rights to them. Val took the red head down from the snare and hand cuffed her as well. The trio of officers took MacGyver and Gillian out to the edge of the woods where Enos and Cletus put them into the patrol car.

[DaneyDuke]

While the Coltrane cousins were talking, the Duke clan walked over to the patrol car.

“You sure about this?” Daisy asked.

Daney nodded and looked at the boys. “Didn’t you say to forgive and forget? No grudges once...”

“I did,” Luke smiled and Bo chuckled. The oldest brunette led the blond and middle brunette over to where Enos, Cletus and Val stood. The three were boasting about the capture.

Daney made sure the Strates and Deputy Hogg were not looking. She quickly opened a patrol cruiser’s back door of the patrol cruiser.

Hazel eyes looked at the red haired woman and blond man. “I owe you both for not killing me or Brian, and I hope this pays the debt.” Her voice was low and respectful. She reached into her jeans pocket and got the bobby pin out.

“No grudges Gillian, right?” Daney whispered and used the metal to spring the lock on the cuffs of the woman.

"Right...no grudges." Gillian sighed in relief as the tight cuffs were opened.

“Good luck. Thank you, Mac for not killing me or Brian.” Daney pressed the bobby pin in Gillian’s hand and squeezed it gently.

MacGyver's hands were released and he rubbed his wrists as he stared at the brunette woman. "I wasn't paid to kill him, Daney." He looked through the window at the three people. "You better go, we'll take it from here."

Daney glanced curiously at the group of folks... did Val, Enos and Cletus hire Mac and Gillian? Or my cousins? She shook her head, then smiled at Mac and Gillian. She turned to her cousins and motioned with an old ridge runner sign that everything was ok to go. She closed the door so it looked like it was shut. Her cousins came up beside her. They walked back toward the Coltranes.

Daney was grateful that everyone she loved was ok.

[MacGyver]

The tires on the patrol car spun as it took off, kicking up a dust cloud into the faces of Val, Enos and Cletus. The three uniformed people were no longer that as they sat with their hands cuffed behind them on the side of the road. Enos and Cletus wearing nothing but their white t-shirts, boxers shorts and socks; their blue shirts tie around their mouths. Val sat between the two men, she too had her mouth gagged by her own shirt, leaving her in a white t-shirt.
MacGyver and Gillian now had a set of wheels and headed down the road in a hurry, trying to find the quickset way out of Hazzard.

[MaryAnne]

MaryAnne and Rosco were both glad Brian was okay and seeing him in a uniform should have illicited a few smart comments from the cousins. But there would be time later for teasing. Now, there was a call to action in the air.

MaryAnne wanted a piece of the two hired guns so bad, and she knew Brian had seen it in her eyes. There was no reason to hold back on it either. Kidnapping and attempted murder were serious issues. A swift delivery of justice was on order.

"Whattya mean, she's the law?" Rosco complained. "I'm the law too, I'm the Sheriff--!"

"Who agrees that crimes have been committed," MaryAnen said, "and the perpetrators are getting away! They kidnapped Brian, they kidnapped Daney. They attempted to kill Brian, and we can throw in assault and battery just for good measure. We're goin' after 'em---" Before MaryAnne could finish her speech, she watched the lone Hazzard County patrol car come into view with Val, Enos and Cletus. "Well...maybe we won't be..."

A little disappointed, the Coltrane cousins watched the scene. Mac and Gillian were let out of the patrol car by Daney Duke, who then undid their handcuffs.

"What is she doing??" Rosco said. "Is she crazy?! Them dipsticks, they shouldn't be lettin' them outta the car!"

They saw Daney turn, flash the ridge runner okay signal to her cousins and then the tables turned. With the Dukes backs to the scene, Mac and Gillian had subdued Enos, Cletus and Val, tied them, gagged them and jumped into the patrol car.

"DAMMIT! They're they go!!" MaryAnne took off to runnin', with Rosco and Brian with her. There was no way they could do anything to stop the car themselves, but MaryAnne got close enough to pull her gun and took aim at the fleeing patrol car. Six shots came in rapid fire, blowing out the back window of the patrol car and shattering tail lights. The Plymouth kept going.

"C'mon y'all!" MaryAnne yelled. "They're not gettin' outta Hazzard County!!" She turned and ran back to Maverick.

[MacGyver]

MacGyver turned around slowly to see the broken back windshield, the wind blowing through their hair as he turned back; gripping the steering wheel firmly.
"Man that's one angry Deputy! I guess she didn't appreciate us borrowing the patrol car."
Gillian shook out her hair and brushed the glass from her shoulders.
"Or the fact we left her friends by the side of the road."
"We didn't hurt them." He focused his attention once more on the road as he slammed his foot down on the gas. The patrol car taking off in a sudden burst of speed.
"She's going to be coming after us, we better put some distance between us."

[Brian Coltrane]

As Mac and Gillian were fleeing the scene, Brian was running towards Maverick. He hollered at Daney while in full run, unable to believe that she had released the very people who had damn near made an end of them.

"Duke girl, you're gonna have a lot of explainin' to do!" He yelled. "Don't just stand there with yer private eyeballs staring at everybody, let Val and them cops loose!"

He wasn't able to wait to see what Daney did. MaryAnne was at Maverick's driver's side, and Brian quickly dove into the back seat of the Firebird, where Bandit immediately barked at him. But it was the "Howdy" from the older man in the black Stetson who shared the backseat, that startled him completely. The man looked a helluva lot like Rosco, but....

"GAH!" Brian said. "Naw, it can't be....what the hell, they let anybody in Hazzard these days?! First MacGyver, n' now...hey, you're that dude from the Hooper movie! Cully! Sonofagun!"

As Brian was speaking, Rosco jumped into the front passenger seat of Maverick, and MaryAnne got behind the wheel. The Firebird gave a howling roar, the pursuit on.

Enjoying the novelty of being on the same side as the posse for a change, Brian kept up the chatter. "Ya know, most families don't go out and do things like this together anymore. Ain't that a shame? Hell, it'll be a sad day when nobody's got time for a shootout...."

[DaneyDuke]

Daney quietly helped her cousins get Val, Enos and Cletus untied. She told them she was truly sorry, explained why she did what she did and asked Daisy to tell MaryAnne, Rosco and Brian.


While the three officers were getting attired again, her cousins chatted about what had happened... the youngest brunette Duke slipped to the edge of the woods feeling like a fool.

She stopped for a moment and looked over her shoulder. As she continued walking... warm, salty tears began to run down her cheeks.

Daney kept going until she came to Styx River on the other side of the woods. She stood there with her arms crossed over her chest, and a troubled expression in her hazel eyes.

She took a deep breath, looked up at the sky and sighed.

Then she dove in... the cold water would wash away the mud from the cat fight with Gillian but it wouldn't take the pain from her heart or make her feelings go away.


While Daney was trying to sort things out...

the General had caught up to Maverick, who was closing in on the stolen police car.

Cletus, Val, and Enos were in the back of the orange stock car. Bo in the passenger seat, Daisy in the middle and Luke in the driver's seat at the wheel.

The older female Duke woman picked up the cb. "Songbird, you out there on the Hazzardnet?"

[MaryAnne]

"Well, ya know what they say," MaryAnne said. "The family that plays together, stays together. Khee!" She glanced in her rear view mirror at Cully and Brian in the backseat with Bandit between them. "I guess I can pass on the introductions, y'all already seem to know each other."

"Well, with a face like mine it's easy to be recognized," Cully said with a grin. "Nice to meet ya, Brian. I've heard a lot about you."

"All bad, of course," Rosco added. "Khee!"

Up ahead, the patrol car was in viewing distance, but there was quite a length between it and Maverick. MaryAnne had the pedal to the floor. A moment later Daisy's voice came over the CB.

MaryAnne picked up the mike. "Go ahead, Bo Peep."

[Valerie Strate]

“MaryAnne, Rosco, Brian... My cousin only unlocked that woman's handcuffs because Daney felt backwoods southern justice had been severed after they fought out in the mud pit. The only thing Gillian did was kidnap Daney. I know she didn't mean any harm... and it was their decision to escape," Daisy paused and looked to the back seat. "Daney said she seen some kind of connection that her and Gillian were alike in some ways. She truly is sorry for what she did. Here is Val," Daisy handed the cb to the older woman.

Val took the cb, "Songbird this is, Gemini 2... Listen, I understand why Scout did what she did. Enos Cletus, and myself have forgiven her whoever was involved in letting those baddies go." The Game Warden paused, "But we have a job to do."
Enos and Cletus, didn't need to say a word. After they were explained why Daney did what she did they understood. The important thing now is that Mac and Gill don't get away scott free.
Bo grabbed the cb. "MaryAnne, my cousin has that look in his eyes and you know what that means." He chuckled and handed the cb mic to Daisy who was laughing along with everyone else.

"Deputy Coltrane, Sheriff... I'm going to get cross country here and meet you back over by the Crossroads, I think we can get them there." Luke paused to hear if MaryAnne agreed or not. "Lost Sheep, Bo Peep, Geminis and Cletus signin' off the Hazzardnet." Luke pressed the accelerator to the floor, cranked the steering wheel and swung the bright orange stock car off the road into a field.

[MaryAnne]

"I don't hold nothing against Daney," MaryAnne replied in the CB, "and I understand what she did too but backwoods southern justice is gonna have to be dealt out in more than just a fight in a mud pit. I will not have people think they can come into Hazzard County, push us around, threaten us, kidnap us and try to kill us, and get away with it." She paused. "So Luke Duke, if you've got that look in yer eye....stand on it! Let's not let these jokers get away! I'm gone!"

MaryAnne tossed the mike over to Rosco who hung it up on the CB set. She glanced at Cully in the rearview mirror. "This isn't the kinda introduction to Hazzard I was hoping for but....Welcome to Hazzard County, Cully."

Cully grinned. "Wouldn't be the same any other way."

[Brian Coltrane]

MaryAnne's fine-tuned rant made Brian smile. He couldn't remember the last time she had worked up such a righteous wrath against somebody, and he was glad not to be the one getting chased right now.

He watched the road shrink between Maverick and the fleeing stolen patrol car. Boss Hogg used cheap parts and skimped on maintenance on those squads, while MaryAnne kept Maverick in top running shape. The odds, Brian knew, were with the posse. Mac and Gillian were outnumbered, and possibly in an unreliable patrol car, and were trying to escape from MaryAnne, Rosco, Duke's, who were all in their own home territory.

There was a fleeting sympathy Brian felt for the pursued; he knew what it felt like. But it didn't stop him from wanting to see Mac face-down in the dirt. Or strung up from a tree. Or eaten alive by ravenous coyotes. Or hit broadside with a truck. Or thrown into a snake pit. Or drawn and quartered using four very slow tractors.

"Khee, you @#$%&*," Brian muttered at the fleeing car. Be it called backwoods southern justice or revenge, hell's invoice was going to be paid.

[MacGyver]

MacGyver watched the Firebird in the rearview mirror, it was getting closer all the time and the speed of the patrol car was being pushed to the limit as it was.
"Mac...they're gaining, it's only a matter of time." Gillian whispered in defeat as she turned in the passenger seat, gazing out the broken back window.
"They just don't learn, do they?" His dark eyes narrowing. "I let Brian go once against my better judgement. He can't just leave well enough alone."
Gillian's gaze shifted to the driver. "We weren't paid to kill him and you know that."
"Then they should have gotten someone ELSE to do their dirty work if they couldn't handle getting a little blood on their hands."
He sighed as he wiped his hand over his face.
"This is ridiculous."
Mac turned the wheel hard, taking a small side road that headed into the hills.
He watched Maverick follow and a cold smile lit up his face.
"That's it Deputy, come on down."
The white patrol car coughed and wheezed but managed to make it up the winding dirt road to the top of Kissing Cliff. He backed the patrol car up and a great distance from the edge and put it in park.
"They're going to be here any minute." Gillian reached out and touched MacGyver's arm. "You know we can't be taken in. We know way too much, we'd never be allowed to live."
His grip on the steering wheel tightened. "I know...and I'm not about to let Brian win. No one takes me in... no one."
Gillian nodded, sighing. "Then you know what we have to do."

The white patrol car took off with a burst of speed heading straight for the edge of the cliff.
Maverick and the General Lee got there just in time to see the white patrol car hit the edge of the cliff and become airborne. It exploded, black smoke and bright orange flames blowing out the windows as it dropped like a rock, landing at the bottom of Kissing Cliff and exploding a second time.

[MaryAnne]

"HOLY--" MaryAnne brought Maverick to a quick stop and everyone spilled out of the car. The black smoke rose up above the canyon and the three Coltranes, along with Cully looked down to see. Both Cully and Rosco removed their hats.

"Good Lord..." Rosco said softly. "They couldn't stop."

MaryAnne looked at the smoke and slowly shook her head. "No. I don't think they wanted to stop. They knew exactly where they were driving. "

[Brian Coltrane]

At MaryAnne's words, Brian slowly walked near the edge of the cliff, studying the flaming wreckage. The whoosh of the crackling flames and the hiss and pop of the burning patrol car was the only sound for several moments. The acrid smoke billowed to the sky, marking the end of the pursuit with grim finality.

The identity of whomever hired Mac and Gillian to begin with, would never be known.

Brian stared at the scene for a long time, his dark eyes brooding. He wasn't proud of the idea that he and his clan had chased two people to their deaths, but as MaryAnne said, this was the path the pursued had chosen.

An uneasy feeling was prickling at the back of Brian's neck. Were the secrets Mac gaurded worth certain death, when there was always that slim chance of escape? Why did it end this way? Why hadn't Mac turned the patrol car around and come back at them head-on, or any other dozen strategies that could have won their escape? Mac was armed, he could have also slowed down and let MaryAnne get close enough, and then turned and fired a decisive bullet....

Backing away from the cliff, Brian turned around and scanned the area, not sure what his criminal instincts were telling him. He could be wrong...

....but just in case, he felt it was best not to linger at the scene. Brian took a last look at the wreckage and the plume of smoke, which rose black and heavy to blot the sun. "Farewell, Mac," he said quietly, knowing it wouldn't be heard.

Brian turned towards MaryAnne, his voice speaking low. "Cousin, let's get outta here..."

[MacGyver]

The three Coltranes plus Cully stood a short distance from Maverick, staring down at the burning remains of the stolen patrol car along with the Dukes, the Straits and Cletus.
From a group of bushes a short distance away, Mac and Gilian hid; crouched down low.
"As soon as they leave we can go." Gillian whispered as she peered through the branches.
"Maybe...might not be that easy." He had his hands on her shoulders, pressing her down a little lower. Mac kept his eyes fixed on Brian especially.
"He's after us because he wants to get even with me, not because he wants to know who hired us."
"So what do we do?" Gillian asked looking over her shoulder at her partner.
Mac still watched Brian as he stood on the edge of the cliff.
"We watch and wait."

[StuntMan23]

Cully had turned away from the cliff and was looking down at the tire tracks left behind from the patrol car. Something wasn't settling right for him. The thought of two people perishing in such a form was disturbing enough but...Cully wondered.

"Yeah," he heard MaryAnne say to Brian's request that they leave. "C'mon..."

Cully walked back Maverick but he was still looking at the tiretracks and the markings in the dirt just beyond the tracks. The sand near Kissing Cliff was softer than the rocky gravel that was near the road. The tracks left by the patrol car and Maverick were easy to see. The other markings in the dirt looked like footprints and scuff marks from a body landing and roling in it.

He'd driven cars off cliffs, jumped out at the last minute and had seen what the ground looked like after doing such a stunt. If they had jumped out...where'd they go?

His line of vision turned him to look toward the bushes that were a short distance away.

"Ya comin', Cully?" MaryAnne asked.

He stared at the bushes for a moment, but didn't see anything. 'Yeah," he replied. Slowly he turned back to the Firebird and climbed into the back of the car.

MaryAnne backed Maverick up to the road and they drove away from Kissing Cliff.

"What were you lookin' at?" Rosco asked.

"A different route them two could have taken," Cully replied. He paused. "I ain't so sure they were in that car at all..."

[MaryAnne]

"You think they jumped out?" MaryAnne asked.

"They might have. I'll be honest, some of the marks in that dirt look like they coulda jumped out."

MaryAnne slowed the Firebird down and pulled over to the side of the road. She turned in her seat to look at her kin.

"Maybe we should turn around," Brian said.

Rosco agreed. "If they're still back there..."

MaryAnne nodded. She was about to turn Maverick around in the road when she saw Cooter's tow truck coming down the road.

"Hey, there's Cooter..." she said. "Looks like Hilery's with him."

[DaneyDuke]

(Hilery is used with permission per her request/wish)


The tow truck pulled up along Maverick’s driver’s side.

“Howdy,” both Davenports greeted the Coltrane clan with a crooked smile.

“Didn’t want to miss the big fireworks we heard about,” Cooter announced. Hazzard’s beloved mechanic chuckled at the raised eyebrows he received. He pointed toward the General Lee through the window.

The Duke boys were ready for hunting. Bo and Luke had their bows in one hand, dynamite arrow in the other. Enos and Cletus were also holding bow and arrows. Val appeared to be giving them advice or something as they all headed toward some bushes. Daisy was no where in sight.

“Shouldn’t I go help them?” Hilery asked.

“We will,” Cooter replied and tipped his ball cap toward MaryAnne, Rosco, Cully and Brian with a wink. He then sped the vehicle up to the bright orange stock car, dust swirling around the tow truck when it came to a stop. He jumped out and didn’t bother to shut the door. Hilery followed her cousin around to the back and assisted him with getting some heavy duty chains.

They joined Bo, Luke, Enos, Cletus and Val... the sound of galloping hooves not far off.


“Cousin, how did you think of this?” Daisy asked as her and Daney rode toward the boys and their friends from the opposite direction. One on a chestnut colored Palomino with white mane and tail. The other on a Mustang.

“After swimming,” Daney paused. “I’m just glad we got this arranged without anyone noticin’,” She chuckled and lightly kicked her heels to make the pure black stallion run.

“Whoa Honey,” Daisy gave the mare a light tap and pulled on the reins. She smiled seeing Daney lean forward and hold tight as Dreamer took flight...

Bo and Luke whistled.

“Shoot fire and a box of matches,” Cooter hollered.

“Flapjacks on a ferris wheel,” Cletus exclaimed.

"Possum on a gumbush," Enos hugged Val.

They ran to where the horse and had landed safely on the legs of two bodies. The front right horse hoof in the back of the blond man, the left one rested along side the red hair of the woman’s head. A riding crop gently pointed in his neck. His rider with a gentle smile.

“Cool,” Hilery grinned.

Daisy came cantering up as the boys aimed the bows at Mac and Gillian. The Davenports were in position with the chains. Val, Enos and Cletus looked ready to pounce too. The deputies with their weapons drawn.

The criminals were surrounded, there was no way they were getting away... between police, a Strate, Dukes, Hilery and Cooter... they were surrounded with four more people running up.

“Glad y’all could make it,” Daney shouted to MaryAnne, Rosco, Brian and a fella who looked like Rosco but without the uniform. I seen him somewhere before. She thought and looked down at Mac and Gillian with a poker face. “Khee.” Then she glanced to Brian and MaryAnne. “Wanna go horse back riding?”

(Cue MaryAnne or Brian)

[MacGyver]

Mac laid face down on the ground, the hoof of the horse heavy in the center of his back. He flexed his wrist, a small gun shooting out into the palm of his hand. He fired it, the horse reared up, spilling its rider.
Quick as lightning Mac grabbed Daney, pulling her against him, aiming the hidden gun to her temple.
"I suggest you all just back away right NOW!"
Gillian slowly got up, she too pulling out her gun and aiming it at everyone in sight.
"You all just couldn't leave well enough alone. You could have let us go but oh NO you're southern PRIDE And JUSTICE just wouldn't have it." His gaze flicked to the faces of everyone there.
"You want to know who hired us?"
He reached into his other pocket and pulled a piece of paper and dropped it at his feet.
"Come on PI, let's move."
He put his arm across Daney's shoulders and forced her to walk. The pair of assassins play Daney walked to the edge of Kissing Cliff. He turned his head, gazing at everyone.
"You want Southern Justice? I dont think so."
He gave Daney a hard shove away from him as Gillian jumped into his arms, the couple fell over the side of the cliff; straight into the burning wreckage of the patrol car.
Daney watched it shaking her head as she went back over to the piece of paper Mac had dropped it and unfolded it.
The paper read two simple words...

Valerie Strate

[Valerie Strate]

The Game Warden curiously came up to Daney's side as the Duke held the peice of paper in her hands. She had no clue as to who's name was on the sheet. She had a carefree smile on her face as she came up and put her arm around Daney to see what the note read. Daney was still as the Strate came up but didn't say a word. Val looked down to Daney's hands and see her own name scribbled across the paper. The Strate's eye's widened, her pluse raced, and her stomach did flip flops.

"CRICKETS AND CROCS!" Val shrieked, her stomach felt faint. She turned from Daney and ran to the bushes. That's when everything she had for lunch just left her, "Blah!"

Enos watched his twin's reaction to the note. He came up to see what the note had said. He too was shocked and looked at Daney who was still staring at the note.

"Possum on a gumbush" he breathed sloftly. He swallowed hard. He knew in his bones this was a setup. His sister would never do such a thing. Especially to someone who was so loved by his sister's best friend. He turned from Daney and slowly went to the direction of where Val was at. He realized she that the naseua of such an acusation got to her. He helped his little twin calm down and reagain her composure. Then he wrapped his arms scurely in a big brother embrace and stroked the back of her head as she cried on his shoulder.

"Sssshhhh, sssshhhh, Val just calm down, sis. Just calm down." he whispered softly to his sister.

"Lies, lies, and more lies." Val weeped into his shoulder, "I hate lies Enos."

"I know you do Val. Sssshhhh... just calm down." He told her, "I know Val. Just calm down. I know how much this hurt you sis. It hurts me too."

Valerie just sobbed into his shirt shoulder. Enos slowly let go of her a bit to help walk her back to the crowd. The Hazzard Deputy Sheriff was filled with lots emotions. A few weeks before this all started he knew his sister had problems with her friendship with Daney. He knew it left Daney with a distrusting feeling about his sister. This hurt Val deeply because everything a Strate stands for is based on love and trust. Now seeing this note probably made Val so upset that it made her sick.

The twins then walked back to the crowd. Enos stood by his sister to offer support. He also wanted to be the officer to take his sister in, if needed. He knew however, whoever put the cuffs on Val, that his sister wouldn't run from them. She had enough faith in the system to let justice clear her. The twins stood still. Val leaned on her brothers shoulder with tears stained eyes, "Enos you know I didn't do it."

"I know. Just let us see what happens." Enos replied, "I'll get your name cleared tho' Val. Don't worry about that."

The twins waited for the crowd's reaction. They hopped justice would prove Val's innocence.

[Brian Coltrane]

The sight of the Mac and Gillian grabbing Daney and moving her to the cliff had froze everything in Brian's heart, silencing the beat for a long moment when it looked like the assassin team would be taking Daney with them on their final, desperate move.

The fact they had spared her, shocked him. Perhaps there had been an understanding between captor and captive after all...but it was no more. Mac and Gillian wouldn't have the opportunity that Brian himself had, for a different life. They had come to the kind of end that all criminals expected for themselves; a choice between prison and death. Brian understood Mac's choice...and somewhere inside, he regretted it, despite everything.

These thoughts were interrupted by the note Mac had dropped before his death; the clue to the employer behind it all. The note contained one name, and it damned the person it accused.

Worse, it was halfway believable.

With a hard sigh, Brian looked at Val. The Game Warden would never have wanted anyone's blood, he knew, but Brian had a knack for getting on people's nerves, hers included. And if Val had thought she was doing the right thing to protect Daney, or the Dukes, or to keep Hazzard County beautiful....

Brian turned away and walked a few steps alone, knowing MaryAnne's day wasn't getting any easier.

(character's note: I'll be elsewhere until Monday night - MaryAnne has authority to speak for me till I'm back. See ya then!)

[MacGyver]

"I can't believe this cousins... I really can't." Daisy walked down the Courthouse steps between Bo and Luke.
The posse had returned to Hazzard and Val had been taken into custody and locked up by her own twin brother.
It was a sad state of affairs, that had left its mark on all that were involved with the chasing down and ultimately the death of the two hired thugs, MacGyver and Gillian.
"Yeah I know Daisy, I can't believe it either. I can't believe that Val would sink that low." Bo sighed, his thumbs hooked in his belt loops.
"We don't know for sure it was her, all we have is a note." Luke pointed out as they made it to the bottom of the steps and started around the corner. Daney's hunter green Duster was parked on the other side of the Gazebo and when Daisy saw it she tugged on Luke's sleeve.
"Hey cousins...Hunter is there, we should bring it to the farm for Daney."
"Got the spare key?"
Daisy nodded. "Yeah Luke, I have a spare. I'll drive him over."
The three cousins started across the street, mindful of a few cars as they
finally made it over to Hunter.
Daisy opened the driver's side door and slid behind the wheel. She stuck the key in the ignition and was about to turn it when a black wrapped box with a big black bow caught her eye. It sat on the passenger seat and what almost happened to Diablo crossed her mind.
"Bo! Luke!" She shouted as she carefully opened the car door and stood up, her eyes wide.
"What is it?" Luke asked, he and Bo were about to cross the street again when they heard her shout and saw her concern.
"A package..." She muttered.
"Daisy step away from the car." Luke said as he went over to Hunter.
"Bo you and Daisy get back, MacGyver might have left one last surprise."
Luke carefully opened the passenger side door and picked up the package, bending his head towards it. He heard no ticking, no beeping or any other clue that it was dangerous.
"Luke? Is it a bomb?" Bo asked, swallowing hard.
"I dont think so cousin." He walked around to the hood and set the package down, taking off the lid. What he saw there only creased his brow.
A white envelope marked Daney sat right on top and he picked it up and opened it, pulling out a piece of paper.

Just in case things don't go exactly as planned, use this for what you will.

M-

"It is from MacGyver, he says this is just in case things dont work out."
"What does that mean?" Bo and Daisy wandered back over to stand beside their cousin.
Luke pulled out an audio tape, another bigger envelope, and a wad of bills; the band across them read 5000 dollars.
Luke opened the second envelope and pulled out color photographs.
"Oh Lord." He whispered as he looked at them.
They were pictures of MacGyver and Valerie Strate, the Game Warden handing him the wad of bills.
"Where would Val get that kind of money?" Bo picked up the stack and flipped through it.
"I dont know Bo, but we better go take this to Rosco."
Luke gathered everything up and the three Dukes started around the corner towards the Courthouse.

[MacGyver]

"If you're sure that's what you want to do, I can do it."
[/i]"Yes, I don't want him harmed, I couldn't live with that and the consequences could be disastrous"
"Don't worry Miss Strate, he won't be harmed."[i]

Rosco and the Dukes listened to the audio tape that was in the black box, all of them stunned beyond belief.
"Well that tears it." Rosco said as he shook his head. "I guess she really is guilty."
"So what do we do now?" Bo asked, sitting on the edge of Rosco's desk.
"Search Val's place, that's standard SOP in something like this."
Luke nodded, his arms crossed over his chest. "All right, but we'd like to help out with this, if you don't mind."
Rosco stood up from, picking his black hat up and slipping it on his head.
"No Luke, I don't mind. We're all involved in this."
"We'll meet you at the boarding house."

Rosco took the spare key to Val's room, courtesy of Enos, and stuck it in the lock. He gave it a couple of turns and finally the lock clicked.
The door swung open and Rosco put his hand out, stopping everyone else from just barging into the room.
He craned his neck around the door frame and his blue eyes suddenly rounded.
"Judas Priest on a pony!"
He lowered his arm and everyone went into the room, stopping when they got the bed, the reason for Rosco's exclamation right in front of them.
A blond man was tied to the bed, his head lolled to one side against his shoulder; a large bloody gash in his temple.
"But I thought he was dead!" Daisy gasped as she looked at her cousins.
Bo and Luke went over to the bed and untied him, touching his neck.
"He's alive."
Luke noticed the white plaster marks around his neck. "Looks like someone took a mold of his face."
"But for what?"
MacGyver groaned, his head moving a little as he opened his eyes, looking at everyone gathered around him.
"Val...she grabbed me and brought me here." He touched his bloody head, hissing through his teeth as his fingers brushed the cut there.
"They're going after Brian and he looks just like me."
Bo nodded. "You dont know the half of it, Mac. Come on we'll fill you in."
They helped him off the bed, he was a little unsteady on his feet.
"You guys taking him to Doc Appleby's, I'll finish searching this place." Rosco said as he took off his hat and set it on the bed.

"I had just finished posting on the bulletin board and decided to go to the Busy Bee when I ran into Val. She said she had to talk to me and we went behind one of the buildings. The next thing I know I'm in her room."
MacGyver touched the gauze on his head, wincing at the pain it caused. Luke, Daisy and Bo all stood around the table.
"Well there's way to much to tell you but the sum up is your evil twin is dead and so is his accomplice and Val has been arrested."
Mac nodded at Luke. "What about Brian?"
"He's okay, he's with MaryAnne and Cully."
Luke sighed. "Yeah we're glad he's okay too. Rosco wants us to take you to the Courthouse. He's going to need to take your statement."
Mac slowly climbed off the table and thanked Doc Appleby for patching up his head. With that the group left, heading back to town. They parked the General Lee beside Maverick and headed up the steps.

"Hey Enos, hey Cletus." Bo smiled at his friends as they walked into the booking room.
The pair of deputies looked wide eyed at Mac.
"I thought he was dead!"
Mac only grinned at them. "Yeah I get that a lot."
Rosco came out of his office and tapped Mac on the shoulder. "See the person that kidnapped you?"
The blond man nodded as he turned and looked to the booking room cell.
"That's her, she's the one."
He turned back, seeing a brunette woman.

[MaryAnne]

That brunette woman was none other than MaryAnne Coltrane who walked into the booking room with Cully and Brian behind her.

She stared at Mac. "I thought he was dead??"

"It's a long story, MaryAnne," Rosco said with a sigh. "A very long and complicated story..."

"Well ain't nothin' simple in Hazzard anyway," MaryAnne said. "Awright, what do we have here?"

Rosco did a quick run through of what they knew, the tape recording and money found in Hunter and finding the real MacGyver tied up in Val's boarding house room.

MaryAnne blinked. "This is all a joke right? I mean... Val?! And them two gun mauls threw themselves off a cliff because they didn't want to get jail time for scare tactics?" MaryAnne was thouroughly confused. Something wasn't clicking. The pieces didn't all quite fit. She looked at Mac.

"First question. Who ARE you??"

[MacGyver]

MacGyver could understand the Deputy's question, with all that had been happening with the other one it was no wonder she had asked.
"Deputy, I'm the guy that got bonked in the head, tied to a bed, got plaster smeared all over my face so my evil twin could run around and cause havoc and destruction." He held out his hands. "Look if you don't believe that I'm Mac then by all means feel free to take my fingerprints."

He stood there with his hands out towards the dark haired Coltrane, waiting for her to either check his prints or maybe slap the cuffs on him.

[MaryAnne]

MaryAnne was half contemplating slapping the cuffs on the blonde haired stranger but Bo spoke up.

"We did find 'em tied up, MaryAnne. Luke and I, Daisy. Rosco was there too."

MaryAnne nodded. "Awright." She looked at Mac. "Just keep yer fingers clean if I decide to print 'em. Now...second question. What are you doing here in Hazzard?"

[MacGyver]

Mac pulled a letter out of his backpocket and handed it to MaryAnne.
"I came here by invitation to see my friend."
MaryAnne saw the return address on the envelope was from Hazzard, with the name Min Duke above it.
"Min invited me out here to show me what Georgia was like and the little town she always mentioned in her letters. I thought I'd come out here to see for myself and it's been an adventure so far to say the least."
He saw the skeptical gleam in MaryAnne's blue eyes and ran his fingers through his hair.
"Look if you dont think I'm telling the truth give Min a call."

[MaryAnne]

Brian came up beside MaryAnne and looked at the letter and envlope over her shoulder. He refrained from comment for the moment, letting Rosco and MaryAnne handle the questions of the investigation. But he certainly had questions of his own that would be asked in due time.

"Hmm..." MaryAnne walked over to the telephone on the desk near Boss's office and made a phone call to her old friend, Min. A few minutes later she hung up the phone.

"Awright yer story checks there. Looks like you an' Cully there had bad timin' comin' to Hazzard. This isn't the usual reception we give for visitors...." She walked back to the group gathered in the middle of the booking room.

"Lessee....so you came to Hazzard and saw our lil' postin' game on the bulletin board. You joined in. You offered a challenge to Brian and our two gun mauls, allegedly hired by Val, see an opportunity. Val, allegedly, grabs you, one of the two gun mauls assumes yer identity and kidnaps Brian and his partner grabs Daney. We have some Hazzard chasin' and stuff, loose a patrol car off Kissin' Cliff and end up loosin' the two gun mauls off Kissin' Cliff. But they leave a note, implicating Valerie Strate. Incriminating evidence is left in Daney's car, cash and a tape recording of Val, allegedly making a deal with the two gun mauls."

MaryAnne paused and sighed. "And I can't make heads or tails of it."

Rosco looked at Mac. "Did anybody know you were comin' to Hazzard?"

"More to the point," Brian said. "Did them two gun mauls know you were comin' to Hazzard?"

[MacGyver]

MacGyver ran his fingers through his hair and sighed.
"My boss knew it because I asked for the time off." He thought about it, shaking his head slowly. "I didnt tell anyone else I was leaving LA for a while."

He raised his eyes to look at the three Coltranes that surrounded him.
"But that doesnt mean that Min didnt tell people." He glanced at Brian. "I dont know if those two knew I was coming, I didnt even see that other guy's true face. The one time I woke up I saw him looking like me and thats when he cracked me one in the head."

[MaryAnne]

MaryAnne nodded. "Hmmm...."

"What are you thinkin'?" Rosco asked.

"I'm thinkin' that them two knew what they were doin' at every step. Try this on..." She walked up to the booking area and looked at the group that was gathered in the booking room. "Them two get their orders to come to Hazzard, not necessarily hired by Val here." MaryAnne looked at the Game Warden, sitting in the holding cell, looking back at her sadly. "'cause I don't believe that."

"But that tape recording...?" Bo said.

"Tape recordings can be altered..." MaryAnne looked at Mac, "And somebody could have dressed up to look like Val, to nab you. If your evil twin had the know how to look like you convincingly, his lady partner could've pulled the same trick." MaryAnne paused. "I'm thinkin' these two did their homework before they got here."

"But why make it look like Val hired 'em?" Daisy asked.

"Well, I said they did their homework, I didn't say they finished it. Their orders were not to kill Brian, but to employ scare tactics. Somebody hired these two and these two not only took that information with them when they jumped off Kissin' Cliff, they left a wild goose chase for us here."

"Then they're protectin' their boss," Brian said. "At a very high price."

"Extremely high."

"So when they saw MacGyver postin' to the board a challenge to Brian, they took the opportunity to make Mac here look like the one after Brian," Luke said. "Thus covering their own tracks. And implicating Val, covered their tracks more if everything were to blow up on 'em, which is did."

"Leavin' us with a fine mess," MaryAnne said.

[DaneyDuke]

“Yeah.”

Everyone turned in the direction of the quiet voice that commented.

They saw a familiar brunette Duke clad in a black leather jacket, black tank top, black jeans and black high heel sandals. Sunglasses covered her eyes. She began to stroll casually toward them with a smile.

The group collectively rubbed their eyes, blinked or let out a gasp seeing Alex aka Bad Mac and Gillian by the booking room doors.

Daney walked a straight and narrow path to the cell and let Val out, not saying anything. Daisy had called her from Doc Appleby’s and told her of the latest happenings.

Then she hurried over to the jacket’s owner. Daney stood in front of Brian. She smiled at the Deputy uniformed city Coltrane. "Wanna play cops and robbers, sweet cheeks?” She flipped the sunglasses down and winked at him.

(Next post reserved for MaryAnne Coltrane, thank you)

[MaryAnne]

Brian looked at Daney, incredulous. "Sweet cheeks?" he said. "Ha!" His dark eyes scanned over at Alex and Gillian. "I'm more apt to wanna play cowboys and outlaws..." He strolled over to the two assassins. "...and swing these two from a rope..."

"How many freakin' lives do these people have?" Cully blurted out, staring at the two.

"Awright, I'm gonna git to the bottom of this," Rosco said and marched over the two gun mauls. "WHO HIRED YOU?"

[MacGyver]

The pair of criminals looked at one another and shrugged their shoulders.
"Let's show them Gillian."
Alex said to his partner as the two of them peeled off their face masks to reveal Cooter Davenport and his cousin Hilery.

Bo, Luke and Daisy groaned and Mac wiped his hand down his face.
"Okay like THAT makes sense."

Enos smiled as he looked at his sister. She had been let out of the cell and now stood beside her brother.

Mac glared at Rosco, raising an eyebrow.

"Have you had enough of this or WHAT?"

[countrygirl1986]

"What's wrong?" Hilery said innocently, then broke out laughing. It was an odd laugh, one no one recalled her having.

"Hil, calm down, we might as well give up and spill the beans," Cooter hissed at her, trying to hush her. This just made her laugh even harder. She suddenly stopped and shoved Cooter into Daney, then grabbed Rosco's gun, quite quickly.

"Since when have you known me to give up cousin?" she asked hims eriously, the gun pointing at everyone as she hearded them into Rosco's office. "Until later," she laughed again and ran out the door, after blocking bosses using a chair, then ran to her car. With tires smoking, Jumper pealed off around the corner, on her way out of town. Hilery was out of site before anyone could get out the booking room. No body had tried to stop her out of sheer shock.

[MaryAnne]

With everyone crowded into Rosco's office, Cooter jerked his thumb at the Dukes. "It was actually their idea," he said.

"Their idea?!" Brian, MaryAnne, Cully, Mac and Rosco all exclaimed in unison.

Luke smirked. "Yeah, Rosco, our idea..."

"Yeah, Rosco, our idea..."